Would some frickin' lasers kill ya?

— 1:03 PM on April 16, 2009

Hey! Did you hear the exciting news out of Cupertino last week? No? Are you sure? Yeah, me neither. Is it just me (which is always possible), or has the Mac landscape seemed a touch boring of late?

Here are some of the big news from the last week:

Apple seeds OS X version 10.5.7 to developers. Oooh, that's hot. Why work on Snow Leopard when we can get another dot release to, um, I dunno, break something?

Microsoft releases updates to Mac Office 2008. I applied them. Nothing broke that I can discern. PowerPoint still angers me both in its functionality and by its very existence.

Apples seeds Beta 3 of iPhone OS 3.0 to developers. Developers then comb through the code and find new features like video recording and voice dialing. Features we pretty much knew were coming. Huzzah.

iSuppli determines that the new iPod Shuffle's parts total $22, not including R&D costs, marketing costs or the 10% Mac Tax. I'm waiting for Radio Shack to bring out their own Tandy Build-Your-Own iPod Shuffle and Crystal Radio Kit.

Apple busts loose with a "1 Billion App Countdown" contest at the App Store. After making several hundred million off the App Store already, Apple decides to scour Steve's office couch for prize money and comes up with 13 grand. Way to go nuts, fellas.

Reports claim Steve Jobs will indeed return in his role as Fearless Leader come June. Just like Apple had said all along. The Imagineers at Disney must be cranking round the clock.

DigiTimes publishes a list of supposed component suppliers for the next gen iPhone, which is expected to be released in June. Glaring omission: lasers.

Still there? Have I lulled you into a hypnotic state in which you will do my bidding? Go fix me a turkey potpie!

Seriously, I'm jonesing for something cool to look forward to. Sure, I want the next gen iPhone, but, sans lasers, it's just going to be a slightly cooler version of the current device. Give me some leaked netbook photos or shots of Ballmer trying to sync a new Zune HD. Something. Anything. Throw me a bone, cha cha.

I mean, I can only mock Microsoft's "Laptop Hunters" TV spots so much.

I could do a comparison on Twitter clients, but so far they all seem to blow in one form or another. Hint to developers: I need access to more than one account at a time. Why do I have more than one Twitter account? Because when I finally go off the grid, I don't really want to be off the grid. And while my current client of choice, Twirl, does let me monitor two accounts, it has some wonky window management issues that I find irksome.

Maybe I'm just tired of all the incrementalism out there. What was the last big paradigm shifting release from Apple? The iPhone. Almost two years ago. Two years. What have seen since then? Upgrades, enhancements and tweaks. Sure, I love the new MacBook and MacBook Pro designs, and I'd much rather have a new one than my first-gen Core 2 Duo MBP. But aside from the nifty glass touchpad and unibody construction, they're not markedly different from their predecessors. Unless, of course, you wanted FireWire on your MacBook.

And could Apple please update the Mac Pro cases? I know they completely rejiggered the innards with the most recent update, and that's nice. But if I just threw down a fat wad of dough for an 8-core machine, do I really want it to look the same as a final-gen G5? I think not.

Right now, my only hope is that Apple will indeed release Final Cut Studio 3 during NAB (but not actually at NAB, of course), and it will contain some awesome new program or feature that will do something I never thought needed to be done but now can't possibly understand how I ever lived without it. And breathe.

Sigh. Maybe I'm just in a bad mood because of tax day. Better head over to Amazon and drool over the new Canon HFS100 some more.



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