Post your jokes here!

Hang out, sip some ice tea, and shoot the breeze with TR regulars.

Moderators: emkubed, Captain Ned

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu May 07, 2009 4:24 pm

^ I know, how old man are in my city, old man really think fast.
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu May 07, 2009 4:29 pm

So an Egg and Chicken were lying in bed. The Egg lights a cigarette and the Chicken says, "Well, I guess that settles that then!"
Last edited by drsauced on Wed May 13, 2009 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Calm seas never made a skilled mariner.
drsauced
Graphmaster Gerbil
 
Posts: 1467
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2003 1:38 pm
Location: Here!

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu May 07, 2009 9:16 pm

3D Realms shuts down and DNF is delayed indefinitely....again....


Oh wait, :D .
Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
Jive
Gerbil Jedi
 
Posts: 1573
Joined: Mon Dec 23, 2002 10:14 pm
Location: San Francisco, California

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Wed May 13, 2009 1:48 pm

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most
unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about
50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash.
Behind him was a line of 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.
"I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, the first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her"
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Join the queue"
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Wed May 13, 2009 2:00 pm

A guy was driving a Suzuki 800CC Car on the interstate when it broke down. A short while later, a Porsche stopped and the driver offered to give the Suzuki 800 a tow. "If I go too fast," said the Porsche driver, "honk your horn."
So the Porsche set off with the Yugo in tow. A few miles down the road, a Corvette pulled alongside the Porsche.
The Corvette driver called out, "I bet I can outrace you with that thing in tow behind you."
The Porsche driver was up for the challenge and the two cars sped off side by side down the highway. Two police guys watched in disbelief as the cars flew by.
"Did you see that Porsche and Corvette racing neck and neck?" said one.
The other said, "Yeah. And what about that little Suzuki 800 flying behind them, honking his horn, trying to pass?" :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Wed May 13, 2009 4:34 pm

Heh. Those were pretty good!
If there is one thing a remote-controlled, silent and unseeable surveillance/killing machine needs, it’s more whimsy. -- Marcus
Darkmage
Darth Gerbil
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 7371
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 9:44 am
Location: Hell, Virginia

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Wed May 13, 2009 4:48 pm

Not so much of a joke; just something I heard from a TV poker commentator while skimming through the channels:

"He's playing looser than a cheerleader in a slasher movie".
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Captain Ned
Global Moderator
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 20271
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Wed May 13, 2009 6:05 pm

A 7ft man goes to his local swimming pool for a job as a lifeguard. The first question they ask him is: "Can you swim?" He reluctantly admits: "I can't. But I can wade out pretty far."

---

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the sea?

Bob.

---

A man goes to the doctor and says: "Doctor, I've got a lettuce stuck up my arse!". The doctor takes a look and says: "I'm sorry sir, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."

---

An old lady called Doris in her eighties wants to spice up her sex life with her husband Burt. She buys a bag of sex toys and crotchless knickers. Back home she spreads herself out on the bed and says to Burt, "You want some of this?" Burt says: "Not if that's what it's done to your knickers."
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
Richie_G
Gerbil XP
 
Posts: 474
Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2008 4:22 am
Location: Swenglandmark.

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:49 pm

Captain Kidd and his crew were on the high seas when they were attacked by Blackbeard, their arch enemy.


The first shot by Blackbeard's gunners took off Kidd's forward mast. The second shot splintered the center mast, and the third desintegrated the rear mast.


Panic stricken, one of Kidd's men asked what they should do.


"We have no choice but to surrender", replied the pirate, "He's using weapons of mast destruction!"
Hdfisise
Gerbil Team Leader
 
Posts: 212
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:39 pm
Location: UK

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 1:59 pm

A blind guy walks into a department store, picks up his seeing eye dog and starts swiging him around.

A Lady that works at the strore promtply asks the guy what he thinks he is doing.

The guy repsonds "Just looking around"

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... :lol: :lol:
All civilizations become either spacefaring or extinct - Carl Sagan
Scorpiuscat
Gerbil Elite
 
Posts: 770
Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Somewhere on the Edge of Reality

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 2:36 pm

Captain Ned wrote:Not so much of a joke; just something I heard from a TV poker commentator while skimming through the channels:

"He's playing looser than a cheerleader in a slasher movie".


Id heard a golf commentator say (maybe inappropriatly) when a ball went in the water:

"OH! that ball hit the drink like nick nolty!"
"...and she says, 'That's not my expansion slot.' So my friend says, 'That's not my gold plated 22-pin connector!! Ah-hahahaHA!"
roont
Graphmaster Gerbil
 
Posts: 1315
Joined: Fri Jul 14, 2006 2:27 pm
Location: Ambergris

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 6:28 pm

I hope these aren't duplicates....

What do you call a man cut off at the knees?
Neil.

What do you call a woman cut off at one knee?
Ilene.

What do you call a guy who can operate anything?
Manuel.

Virginia, what did Delaware?
I don't know. Alaska.

Okay, so what did Delware?
Maine-ly, A brand New Jersey.
He who laughs last, laughs first next time.
ludi
Gerbil Elder
 
Posts: 5439
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2002 10:47 pm
Location: Sunny Colorado front range

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:14 pm

ludi wrote:What do you call a guy who can operate anything?

Manuel.

¿Qué?

[/hopes]
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Captain Ned
Global Moderator
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 20271
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:14 pm

Captain Ned wrote:
ludi wrote:What do you call a guy who can operate anything?

Manuel.

¿Qué?

[/hopes]

Recently, there was a street poll in the US about illegal immigration. The people were asked "do you think illegal immigration is a serious problem?"

- 40% said "Yes, I think it's a serious problem!"
- 60% said "No, no es un problema serioso!"
There is a fixed amount of intelligence on the planet, and the population keeps growing :(
morphine
Gerbil Khan
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 9982
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Portugal (that's next to Spain)

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:18 pm

I wasn't thinking in quite such R&P terms, but much more in English comedy terms.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Captain Ned
Global Moderator
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 20271
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:00 pm

In the Computer Science Dept. at King’s College, University of London they built this super computer with artificial intelligence that could carry on a conversation with anyone at their relative intelligence level.
All one had to do was type in their IQ and the computer, through its' voice activated-sound generating processor, would begin the conversation.
So they thought they would test it out on several of the King’s faculty.
The first faculty member typed in his IQ at 187 and a bunch of lights on the computer began flashing, then it began a conversation with the scientist on the origins of the universe, mathematical proof of the existence of black holes, and existential philosophy.
The second faculty member then typed in an IQ of 179 and again lights lit up on the computer (not quite as many as the first faculty member, but...) and it began a conversation with the scientist about molecular biology, brain surgery and international monetary policy.
When they tested it on the third faculty member, his finger slipped at the keyboard and typed in 73 instead of 173. Not much happened -- just one little light, it the upper right hand of the computer display, slowly dimmed then grew stronger, then dimmed... Finally the computer said....
"So, how's the Harley running'?" :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:03 pm

A man dies & appears at The Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?. Have you exhibited courage?", St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.
"Once I came upon a group of Bikers who were bothering a young woman.
I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So I approached the largest and meanest looking one.
I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Now get out of here."
St. Peter was visibly impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Just a few minutes ago."
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:07 pm

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat at the bar and growls: "Bartender! Get me a drink!" The bartender obliges, and the man scarfs down the drink. Slamming the glass down on the bar, he growls:
"Bartender! Get me another!" The bartender pours him another drink. After a few more rounds, the bartender attempts some conversation:
"Sir, he says, it seems that you're visibly upset. What's the problem?" The man looks at him and snorts:
"I just went home and caught my ol' lady screwing my best friend!"
"Oh man," says the bartender, that's rough... "What did you do?" The man says:
"Well, I grabbed her by the hair, threw her out nekkid, threw her clothes out after her, and told her never EVER to come back."
"Wow," says the bartender in awe: "That's tough man, what did you do to your friend?"
"Well," says the man, "I marched right back upstairs, I grabbed HIM by the scruff of the neck, and I said: BAD DOG."
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:28 pm

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy."Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him." she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him that" she says "there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies toilet". :x :lol: :lol: :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:29 pm

A man is due for some extensive oral surgery. He sits back in the chair, closes his eyes, begins humming and tapping his fingers slowly, then exhales slowly. "Okay Doc," he says. "I'm ready. Start the procedure. Don't mind me if I continue humming or maybe chant a little bit."

The oral surgeon looks at him funny. "Sir, we haven't applied the topical anesthetics and IV drip yet."

"Don't want 'em," the man says. "Start grinding away."

"That will hurt worse than giving birth. You need the drugs."

"Nope. I've been practicing for this. I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"I'm going to transcend dental medication."
He who laughs last, laughs first next time.
ludi
Gerbil Elder
 
Posts: 5439
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2002 10:47 pm
Location: Sunny Colorado front range

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:17 pm

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, when Jack asks his wife, “Betty, have you ever cheated on me?”
Betty replies, “Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don’t want to ask that question.”
“Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please.”
“Well, all right. Yes, three times…”
“Three?!? Well, when were they?” he asked.
“Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years-old and you really wanted to start a business on your own, and no bank would give you a loan? But, then one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?”
“Oh, Betty, you did that for me? I guess I can’t be too upset about that. Well, when was number 2?”
“Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and needed that very risky operation that no surgeon was willing to perform? And, remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to perform the surgery himself?”
“Betty, you should do such a thing for me, to save my life. To do such a thing, you must truly love me darling. How can I be upset with that?”
“So, all right then, when was number 3?”
“Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 375 votes short?”
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:19 pm

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball.”
Man: “That’s nice.”
Boy: “Want to buy it.”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “My dad’s outside.”
Man: “OK, how much?”
Boy: “$25.00”
The next few weeks find the boy and her mother’s lover in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.”
Man: “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball mitt.”
The lover remembering the last time asks the boy, “How much?”
Boy: “$75.00”
Man: “Fine.”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.” The boy says, “I can’t, I sold them.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
Boy: “$100.00”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church and making you confess.”
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth, then closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that **** again.” :lol: :lol: :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:21 pm

A married couple is driving down the interstate at 55 mph with the husband behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce.”
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it, because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he’s a better lover than you.” Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheels.
She says, “I want the house.” Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.
She says, “I want the kids too.” The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, until he’s up to 80 mph.
She says, “I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards too.”
The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, “Is there anything you want?”
The husband says, “No, I’ve got everything I need right here.“
She asks, “What’s that?”
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, “I’ve got the airbag.” :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:30 pm

We hark back to the time when the great love story of Tarzan and Jane began. Like all great success stories, the beginning of this story was well, not so good. Here's the uncensored version of what happenned .....

Jane chanced upon tarzan while lost in the jungle. The first look at Tarzan's great body (almost naked but for a little foliage) and Tarzan's Package was enough to make Jane fall in love (or was it lust? That remains a question for the ages). Anyway, Jane and Tarzan got talking and after long conversations about innocent stuff, the talk inevitably turned to sex. Broaching the Topic, Jane asked Tarzan " How do you satisfy your urges, since there are no women in the jungle" (perhaps she suspected some bestiality on part of Tarzan).

Our hero, the innocent Tarzan pointed at a hole in a tree trunk and then pointed at his unmentionables and said, " Tarzan put this in that".
Jane was completely full of pity for the poor guy and shrieked, "Oh poor Tarzan, that's not the place to do it!". And after a brief moment of hesitation, she took off all the clothes and lay down on the groun. Then she pointed to Tarzan where the correct orifice was and said, " Go on, put it in here".

Tarzan's Natural Instints took over and he threw of all his clothes and advanced towards Jane excitedly. Suddenly, without notice, he delivered a mighty kick to the exact spot where Jane had pointed!

Jane was shrieking in pain for the next hour. When she finally recovered, she asked Tarzan, "Why the F*** did you do that?"

Tarzan replied, "Tarzan check for bees first"! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:03 pm

Dear Robert, I hope you can help me. Not long ago I was on my way to work, while my husband, like usual, stayed at home. After I drove for about 5 kilometers, my engine broke down. I walked back home, to ask my husband for help. When I arrived, I couldn't believe what I saw: He was in our sleeping-room with our neighbor's daughter! I'm 35, my husband is 36 and the neighbor's daughter is 18! We are married for 10 years now. When I took him to task, he admitted they had an affair for the for the last six months. I told him, I'd leave him if he didn't stop meeting her. He lost his job six months ago und says, he feels useless and depressed since. I really love him, but since I issued the ultimatum, he seems to withdraw from me even more. He declines marriage counseling and my desperate attempts to talk, don't reach him anymore. Please give me some advice, Stefanie -------------------------------------

Dear Stefanie, if an engine trips after only 5 kilometers, it can have a couple of reasons. First be sure to have a clear and proper fuel pipe. Check the function of the fuel injectors and the fuses, which position is explained in the user manual. If all this is in order, probably the fuel pump is gone, thus leading to a lack of fuel at the injectors, which cannot establish enough pressure to work. Hope this was of good help for you, Robert -- :wink:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Mon Aug 17, 2009 10:26 pm

That's some good stuff, Jigar. Thanks!
If there is one thing a remote-controlled, silent and unseeable surveillance/killing machine needs, it’s more whimsy. -- Marcus
Darkmage
Darth Gerbil
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 7371
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2004 9:44 am
Location: Hell, Virginia

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu Aug 20, 2009 10:43 pm

There's a bloody three way car crash one Christmas Eve. Each car has but one man in it, but all three are gruesomely killed.

Up in heaven, St. Peter's feeling merciful. He tells the three men that although each one of them was a sinner, if they can show that they carried the spirit of Christmas with them.

After thinking for a while, the first man stands up. He pulls a fair amount of foliage out of his torso, telling Peter it's boughs of Holly and Mistletoe, and that like the plant life of the earth he's welcoming Jesus into the world. St. Peter sighs, thinks to himself that they're awfully lucky it's Christmas, and lets him in.

The second man stands up a little later (the third man is starting to look increasingly troubled), and pulls a pair of car keys out of his upper arm. Shaking them a little, he says that he is ringing in Christ's joy with some Jingle Bells. St. Peter tells him that's even more of a stretch than the last guy, but that it is Christmas Eve. He lets him in.

The last man looks at Peter, his frown replaced with a cocky grin. He pulls a pair of panty hose out of his pocket.

"We seem to have a misunderstanding," Peter starts.

"No sir. These, these are Carol's."
Krogoth wrote:Care to enlightenment me?
grantmeaname
Gerbil Jedi
 
Posts: 1693
Joined: Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:49 pm
Location: Columbus, OH

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:38 pm

#904636 +(329)- [X]
<jman2050> I'm not a fan of the software direction Sony is taking with the PS3
<jman2050> but the console itself is good
<Davidion> I swear they're just chock full of bad business decisions as of late
* Shinobi_Arsenal (123@dork-F08770BF.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #GA
<Davidion> even when they take a good step forward they can't but help to take one back
<Shinobi_Arsenal> can only be talking about sony
<Davidion> rofl
The best things in life are free.
http://www.gentoo.org
Guy 1: Surely, you will fold with me.
Guy 2: Alright, but don't call me Shirley.
titan
Grand Gerbil Poohbah
 
Posts: 3276
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Great Smoky Mountains

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu Mar 04, 2010 3:55 am

Old married couples joke i heard along time ago.

A man's walking home from work when he see's a guy sitting on street corner with a box full of frogs.
"What's the frogs for."
"I'm selling them only $50 a piece."
"Why would anyone pay $50 just for a frog."
"Well you see the thing is i've personally trained these frogs to give the worlds greatest Bj."
"Hmmmmm "

Latter on that day the mans wife comes home and finds there kitchen is a complete mess, and she see's here husband standing there with a frog both of them covered in flour.
"What the hell happened in here!"
"Ohh i bought this frog on the way home today."
"Why would you buy a frog."
"Well it gives a really good Bj."
"Ok that's just weird and a little sick, but still doesn't explained what happened in here."
"Well now if i can just teach it to make biscuits and gravy your a$$ is out of here."
Amd Phenom 2 560(unlocked to 4 cores at 3.8ghz),xfx Radeon 6870 (ty again tr ^^ ),Cooler master haf case, 4gb of drr3 1600 ram, win7 ultimate 64bit
MrBojangles
Gerbil Team Leader
 
Posts: 267
Joined: Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:04 pm
Location: columbus ohio

Re: Post your jokes here!

Postposted on Thu Mar 04, 2010 8:05 am

MrBojangles wrote:
"Well now if i can just teach it to make biscuits and gravy your a$$ is out of here."


:lol: :lol: :lol:
Intel i5 4670K @ 4.0GHZ|ATI Radeon HD 7970| 12 GB RAM| Xtreme Music with G500 5.1 | Panasonic "TH-L42E60".
Jigar
Maximum Gerbil
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 4599
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:00 pm

PreviousNext

Return to The Back Porch

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests