How to get ripped in 13 minutes

[flip-mode]

Is it just me, or has the marketing of body building products exploded over the past couple of weeks? There seems nary a website I can go to without being presented with some dude with abs like the Alps. This seems to be a very recent thing. What the hell is up?

[roont]

I've seen those too. Not only do they turn your gut into a cheese grater, but they can change your tattoos around too!!

[liquidsquid]

Haven't seen the same. Perhaps your machine has a little AI and detected you need a good workout? Otherwise time to check for Malware as I cannot imagine banner ads on legit sites to promote "spam-like" advertising. Unless of course the banner sites have been hacked.

[liquidsquid]

Ha!!! Just saw it too! Must have been turned on by keywords in my last post. Ok, nevermind.

[Grape Flavor]

I know. The claims are so ridiculous. Those, and the weight loss ads. "WEIGHT LOSS SECRET: Lose 40 pounds in two weeks!!!!"

Uh, the only way to do that is with a hatchet and an ice cream scooper.

[TheEmrys]

I thought this was a threada about liqour.... I'm disappointed.

[derFunkenstein]

I thought this was a threada about liqour.... I'm disappointed.

Yeah, I expected instructions on how to get very drunk very quickly.

edit: when this thread reloaded after posting I found this bit of irony:

[Captain Ned]

I thought this was a threada about liqour.... I'm disappointed.

Yeah, I expected instructions on how to get very drunk very quickly.

Buy cheap vodka, take off cap, throw cap away, chug.

[leor]

some of these things can work, but only for certain people and if you do some pretty insane stuff.

if you take an out of shape guy who was once in amazing shape, in 30 days you can get those results with some serious pill popping, severely restricted diet and insane workout regimen.

also lots of these supplements have steroid like ingredients. I took steroids for 30 days because of a sports injury to treat muscle atrophy, and i gained 5 lbs and A LOT of muscle because i worked my ass off at the gym and physical therapy. my weight swelled up to 178, and in the past 5 months I've dropped that to 150 because i am going for that ripped thing.

anyway some of these things can work, but not if you're sitting on your ass. they'll give you a 10-15% boost on what you're already doing. i guess those claims won't sell many pills, so they have to make those BS claims, but that little 10% does make a difference.

[steelcity_ballin]

While most of the stuff is marketing, there is a little truth to some of these ads. A lot of the fat burners really do work, so well in fact I've seen people pop pills that literally have them sweating profusely in a matter of a half an hour or so. I don't trust stuff like that but I know they work at the same time. The other side of the industry is targeting guys who just want more mass, bigger everything basically. Most of is unrealistic but I've taken some things and found it to work more so than without. I've used NOXplode and found, for me, it works better than SuperPump250 for example. These are both nitric oxide boosters as the name implies.

The best (funniest) marketing I've seen is for "NaNO Vapor" - CAUTION, DO NOT SHAKE, CONTENTS EXTREMELY SENSITIVE TO ATMOSPHERIC DISPERSION" - Tasted like an elks ass in winter. Gave me the shakes too.

[Thebolt]

My favorite drug is 'alli'. A friend told me about it. It makes your body unable to absorb fat as well and makes you leak undigested oil(more or less) regularly. He's been wanting to try it for some time for the comical aspect but I'm not going to join him.

http://www.myalli.com

Warning: Do not read the following while eating

"Treatment effects are bowel movement changes that are most commonly caused by eating meals with too much fat while using alli capsules. Such effects may include oily spotting, loose stools and more frequent stools that may be hard to control.
alli works by blocking the absorption of a quarter of the fat in the foods you eat. This undigested fat passes through the body naturally and it is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
Eating a low-fat diet that consists of 15 grams of fat per meal on average can lower the chance of experiencing these treatment effects."

[Airmantharp]

I've heard about the fat blocker stuff- sounds like it works, but fat loss is basically a secondary effect of having a living situation that requires you to wear a diaper, or the equivalent of a maxi-pad.

I've seen the P90X stuff, seems to work great, and I've seen a new one advertised that is called 'Extreme.' But these 'products' aren't consumables like the OP is talking about. As for consumables, I'm fine with using protein as a semi-meal replacement in coordination with a real workout schedule, and I take vitamins and regularly do digestive cleanses for the sake of reducing toxicity and overdigestion (similar to the fat blocker in a sense).

[flip-mode]

My favorite drug is 'alli'. A friend told me about it. It makes your body unable to absorb fat as well and makes you leak undigested oil(more or less) regularly. He's been wanting to try it for some time for the comical aspect but I'm not going to join him.

http://www.myalli.com

Warning: Do not read the following while eating

"Treatment effects are bowel movement changes that are most commonly caused by eating meals with too much fat while using alli capsules. Such effects may include oily spotting, loose stools and more frequent stools that may be hard to control.
alli works by blocking the absorption of a quarter of the fat in the foods you eat. This undigested fat passes through the body naturally and it is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
Eating a low-fat diet that consists of 15 grams of fat per meal on average can lower the chance of experiencing these treatment effects."

My god that sounds like an actual nightmare... first nightmares of being nude on stage, then nightmares of dripping oil out your arse during a meeting

[steelcity_ballin]

If you're working out, you'll build muscle and burn fat. Cardio helps too. The baby steps method works the best IMO because you don't look like a wizards sleeve after you've lost the weight. You can't loose 100 lbs in a few months and look good for it. You have to come down slowly. Same thing going up, your body has to adjust to the new mass one way or another.

[ASherbuck]

I can vouch for Insanity.

The part that is of most importance is the diet plan, if you don't do the diet plan you won't get any stunning results but you will still see tremendous gains in muscle strength.

Of course half of America is too busy watching TV for 3 hours a night to bother exercising for 40 - 60 minutes.

[edh]

The only thing getting ripped is the buyer's wallet: ripped-off.

I figure more than 99 and 44/100ths % of the weight-loss and body-building pills and supplements claims are bogus. Plus 100% of the p3n1s enlargement and non-prescription erectile dysfunction pills and supplements are bogus.

What I can't believe is that there are enough stupid, gullible people willing to pay good money to keep the crooks selling all this crap in business. The sellers should be sterilized/castrated simply on principle and the buyers should be sterilized/castrated on account of their having proved they have absolutely nothing worthy of contribution to humanity's gene pool.

Is that a little too strong ? ? ?

[steelcity_ballin]

Not that it's strong so much as inaccurate. I can stake a claim to dick pills, but I can tell you that the supplements I take are not all marketing crap. I take L-glutamine for muscle recovery, they also give this to patients in larger dosages following surgery because it's proven to repair muscle damage faster. I take L-arginine for increased blood flow which is also medically proven. I take protein supplements both casein and whey for general muscle building and repair. I take creatine for strength, endurance, recovery, and cell voluminousness (holds water weight, fuller appearance). I will say there are tons of nearly unfounded claims for many of these "combo" products that promise 18 lbs gained of pure muscle in a month, or these fat blasters that are 30 lbs in 2 weeks.

[emkubed]

...Is that a little too strong ? ? ?

Apparently not, that's why these things sell so well

More on topic, personally I just can't see why taking things like this are better for you overall than simply working (out) harder and eating better. If your excercise is plateauing, then it's time to mix it up. I've done quite well with just diet and exerise, but my pacing is also very drawn out and I have a very long term goal. I'm not trying to look good for a wedding in 4 weeks, I'm changing my lifestyle period.

[flip-mode]

I'm not trying to look good for a wedding in 4 weeks, I'm changing my lifestyle period.

Win.
eDIT: bUT i fAIL

[Rakhmaninov3]

I can get ripped in about 13 seconds

[dashbarron]

My favorite drug is 'alli'. A friend told me about it. It makes your body unable to absorb fat as well and makes you leak undigested oil(more or less) regularly. He's been wanting to try it for some time for the comical aspect but I'm not going to join him.

http://www.myalli.com

Warning: Do not read the following while eating

"Treatment effects are bowel movement changes that are most commonly caused by eating meals with too much fat while using alli capsules. Such effects may include oily spotting, loose stools and more frequent stools that may be hard to control.
alli works by blocking the absorption of a quarter of the fat in the foods you eat. This undigested fat passes through the body naturally and it is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
Eating a low-fat diet that consists of 15 grams of fat per meal on average can lower the chance of experiencing these treatment effects."

My god that sounds like an actual nightmare... first nightmares of being nude on stage, then nightmares of dripping oil out your arse during a meeting

Disturbing....

[pikaporeon]

I have never laughed as hard as I did when i saw ads for the Shake Weight

It's as if someone was like "Woa my right arm is huge from my activities alone at night... I wonder how I can market this?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7xrr8XQ_-Y