Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

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Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:03 pm

Well, Jon St. John reads it... this is hilarious, and a must-watch :lol:
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:36 pm

Look for the Gilbert Gottfried version. :lol:
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 16, 2012 9:51 pm

wow I can't believe people read that garbage
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 16, 2012 10:57 pm

I have like 4 partially finished books chilling on my harddrive due to lack of faith in my writing ability, and this junk sells by the truckload? I've read tons of online erotica better than that nonsense.

EDIT: Duke Nukem is still too awesome though.
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:28 pm

bthylafh wrote:Look for the Gilbert Gottfried version. :lol:


LOL that was great :lol:
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Tue Jul 17, 2012 3:03 am

I think I've been punk'd. No way that was the actual novel he was reading from. No way that made it past the editor, the publisher's proof readers and anybody else who reads it and signs off on it. I mean, I'm not great by any stretch of the imagination on grammer, but dang, that was terrible. And an entire book (and series) with that grammer?

Well, I guess I should start writing a novel now...
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:52 pm

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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:02 am

Sargent Duck wrote:I think I've been punk'd. No way that was the actual novel he was reading from. No way that made it past the editor, the publisher's proof readers and anybody else who reads it and signs off on it. I mean, I'm not great by any stretch of the imagination on grammer, but dang, that was terrible. And an entire book (and series) with that grammer?

Well, I guess I should start writing a novel now...


Grammer? Kelsey?
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:00 am

bthylafh wrote:Look for the Gilbert Gottfried version. :lol:

I laughed until I cried. I mean, seriously, that was beautiful.

a question, though, after watching both videos - is that really what's in the book? I mean, really? People should be ashamed. :oops:
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:43 am

The Gilbert Gottfried version is great, but the Duke Nukem version gave me the bigger chuckle. Favorite parts were, "two shiny silver balls...", as I immediately thought of Balls of Steel, and, "Good girl, open your mouth", since in a slightly racier alternate universe, that line could be in a Duke Nukem game. What I don't get is why everybody laughs when he says something like, "my inner goddess does the dance of the seven veils." Perhaps you have to know the series, or is that just funnier for some reason that escapes me?

If either or both of the versions actually came out on audiobooks, I'd probably buy them both.
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:14 am

EsotericLord wrote:I have like 4 partially finished books chilling on my harddrive due to lack of faith in my writing ability, and this junk sells by the truckload? I've read tons of online erotica better than that nonsense.

EDIT: Duke Nukem is still too awesome though.


Sargent duck wrote: I think I've been punk'd. No way that was the actual novel he was reading from.
...
Well, I guess I should start writing a novel now...


I took a preview of the book a few months back when I was trying to decide what to DL for my kindle / nook apps, and honestly, I couldn't make it twenty pages into the story before having to put it down over the quality of the writing. I thought it was that horrid... :D

I haven't listened to the Duke Nukem reading of it yet ("Ellen Reads Fifty Shades" is pretty funny though), but if it sounds like terribly useless trite, it's entirely possible it does come from one of the books.

Do people actually write this stuff? Yes.

Do people actually read this stuff? Yes. Just look at any big fanfic forum. :)


I will give EL James credit for one (and a half) things though. She wrote it. She wrote it and she put it out there. You can have 4 partially finished books chilling on your HDD, I've got a series of stories I'm building in the cloud before I try to release them to publishing, ....but she actually finished hers and took that chance.

Sad as I am to see writing quality that is worse than mine (well, worse than my best) make it big, I still have to follow through. That makes a big difference. :)


Oh, and good luck to you guys tinkering on your own projects. :)


un-ninja edit: OK. out. I'm on lunch break anyways. Duke's 50 shades may be my favorite reading yet. :D
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:25 am

gbcrush wrote:Oh, and good luck to you guys tinkering on your own projects. :)

Probably the fairest assessment yet. The difference between this author and most people who call themselves writers is that this book actually shipped. That's the only way to get >0 people to be interested. If you never finish a project it doesn't matter how masterful it is. Exactly zero people other than yourself will give a ****.
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Re: Duke Nukem reads 50 Shades

Postposted on Mon Jul 23, 2012 8:05 am

Wow. That was hilarious! :lol:
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