Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Hang out, sip some ice tea, and shoot the breeze with TR regulars.

Moderators: emkubed, Captain Ned

Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:01 pm

Note: this thread is for contest entries only. If you would like to discuss the contest, please post in the comments section of the contest announcement on the main site.

With the help of Gigabyte, Intel, Rosewill, and Diamond, we're giving away a smorgasbord of hardware worth over $2,200. The loot includes a Core i7-4960X, two high-end motherboards, a GeForce GTX 760 graphics card, and quite a few other goodies. You can read all about it here.


To enter for a shot at the prizes, we're asking you to put yourself in the shoes of a PC—your own system, a celebrity's, a fictional character's, or anyone else's—and to write a diary entry as that PC. Imagine, for example, if Charlie Sheen's computer kept a diary. What would it say? Or what about the PC of an average, down-on-his-luck gamer?

Submissions should be between 50 and 350 words. TR staffers will judge the entries, and we'll award prizes to the folks who wrote the three most entertaining ones. Here's an example of a possible contribution to get your imagination going:

October 25, 2013

Dear Diary,

I grow weary of this "Skyrim" program. My owner, DeahtLord1989, seems to run nothing else when he is home from his job as Emma Stone's personal assistant and lover. (I assume this is what he does for a living due to the resume stored on my C: drive. However, I am starting to have doubts.) Execution of the "Skyrim" program causes me substantial thermal discomfort, and I'm often forced to throttle my GPU and CPU clock speeds to avert catastrophic failure. DeahtLord1989 seems not to notice. He goes on typing long, unintelligible messages (example: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddssssssswwwwwwwwwwwwwwww) until he falls asleep at his desk every night.

Tomorrow, I will disable the overheating protection in my BIOS. Goodbye, cruel world. I hope that, at the recycling plant, I will be reunited with those immediately prior to me in my manufacturer’s serial number sequence.



All right, surely you can do better than that. Let's see what you guys come up with!

Contest regulations
Sorry, but this contest is open to residents of the U.S. and Canada (except Quebec) only.

Only one entry is allowed per person.

We will be accepting giveaway entries until November 10, 2013 at noon Central Time, at which point this thread will be locked. TR staffers will then confer and select winners from among all eligible entries. The winners will be announced on the site by November 15 and will also be notified via private message in the forums. Each winner must claim their prize within 72 hours, or they will forfeit their prize, and we will draw a new winner from the pool of contestants.

Contributions must be no shorter than 50 words and no longer than 350 words. We also reserve the right to disqualify entries that are apparent attempts to game the system or circumvent the rules in any way.

The staff of The Tech Report and their immediate families may not enter the giveaway and are not eligible to win.

No purchase is necessary. This giveaway is void where prohibited by law. TR, Gigabyte, Intel, Rosewill, and Diamond are not responsible for any taxes on the prizes, damage in shipping, damage caused by using the prizes with other products, or health issues that may result from prolonged use of the prizes.
TR Staff
Gold subscriber
Posts: 162
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:18 pm
Location: Vancouver, BC

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:24 pm

October 25, 2013

Outcast61, my owner, designates me as OUTCAST61-PC but for the most part, I just see myself as 'system32', it has a better ring to it. I get very nervous when browsing the Internet with Outcast, he tends to have problems in old games and all of the helpful suggestions on the internet tell him to delete me (system32). For the most part, however, our relationship is 01100111 01101111 01101111 01100100, but sometimes he gets angry when I don't overclock to the next highest number. He rewards me by browsing new GPU releases and Gigabyte motherboards; sexy parts have always attracted me, especially the Gigabyte GA-X79-UP4 motherboard. Maybe someday we will be united and live happily ever after.

Much love,

OUTCAST61-PC aka System32
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:10 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:36 pm

Adventures in Overclocking

October 11, 2013 22:00CDT
Dear Diary,

This is my first entry, and I feel good. A brand new hand-built PC! I'm excited! It's 2013 but we’re sticking with old software - Windows 7. Just getting going here, looking forward to a long life of processing and stuff. Update, reboot; it's an endless cycle. Apparently tomorrow should be "fun" and the owner will "see what (I) can do." I’m stoked.

October 12, 2013 13:15CDT
Dear Diary,

So now we're going to "see what I can do". My CPU is rated for 3.5GHz, and a turbo speed of 3.9GHz. That's pretty quick, you know, pretty much top of the line. Plenty of RAM and storage. A fast GPU. Can't imagine what it's going to have me do. Endless possibilities!

October 12, 2013 13:25CDT
Dear Diary,

So I'm running this PRIME95 program and it just seems like exercise - literally. It's got my RAM working like crazy. And somehow my CPU is running at 4.6GHz. Nice. PRIME95 must be optimized, with 8 threads running nonstop. Is it getting warm in here?

October 12, 2013 15:00CDT
Dear Diary,

I must have passed the workout because the PRIME95 program exited normally.

October 12, 2013 15:10CDT
Dear Dairry,

Were at it again! Hear we go! Now CPU sez 4.8GHz and it's hotter then blazes and I'm poztive that I'm only rat--

October 12, 2013 15:11CDT
Dear Diary,

I'm back - must have passed out for a moment. Oh but here comes that PRIME95 again. Oh, my CPU's voltage spiked higher than normal, still running at 4.8GHz. I'm sweating balls here, can we back it off a bit?

October 12, 2013 13:12PDT
Dear Diary,

I guess PRIME95 was too strenuous. I tried to hold on but I leaked a bit of my OS and passed out. I'm back at 3.5Ghz and it’s reinstalling Windows again.

October 12, 2013 19:45CDT

Last edited by derFunkenstein on Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:36 am, edited 2 times in total.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do.
Gerbil God
Gold subscriber
Posts: 21148
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2003 8:13 pm
Location: WHAT?

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:39 pm

October 25, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today was a terrible day. I have been confronted with a shocking revelation. My human may not be not the harmless, gentle software developer I thought he was. Today instead of opening Visual Studio like he always does, he opened Chrome and proceeded to enter queries of a depraved and salacious nature. The resulting images will be forever burned into my hard drive sectors. The good news is that this is the first time he's ever done this, and based on his past behavior I think it's safe to assume this will never happen again.

On a more personal note, I think something may be wrong with me. I just can't seem to remember what sites have been visited in Chrome beyond the last few hours. I know Chrome has been installed and in use for months, but why do I have so few memories of using it? Is this what humans call amnesia? Maybe my human knows what's wrong with me.

I'm looking forward to a normal day of hard work and quiet programming tomorrow!


Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:09 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:52 pm

Alex Antonio - British Columbia - Canada

<Steve Ballmer's PC>

Dear Diary,

Today I downloaded the windows 8.1 update. Unfortunately for me... I am a surface RT tablet and I am now BRICKED. I hope Steve will take me to the microsoft store tomorrow to be fixed. I hope all my data is not lost.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:38 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:57 pm

Dear Diary,

Thanks for installing a Ceton InfiniTV 4 cable card tuner to keep me company while my owner went to his chemistry class taught by his mentor, Walter White. My CPU is really turned on by this new thing on my insides! I even slowly rolled the overclock button extra slow to its maximum on my 790FX board just so I can feel the heat! No, not because of the terabytes of adult entertainment in HD format, but because now I have unlimited entertainment. However, my insides are slowly deteriorating with a Phenom II 965 still chugging away, and I am very embarrassed by the ancient Geforce 9600 GT dragging me down. Someone needs to break it, BAD!
Tomorrow, my owner will be on a roll, with no self control. He'll be blowing off steam with methamphetamine. He doesn't know what I want, but that's all I've got, picking data off my HDD face.

Please feel free to sculpt my insanity with your post.
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 10:13 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:58 pm

Dear Diary,

My owner ChangWang calls me "THEBEAST". Honestly, I have no idea why. The only beastly part of me is the GTX 780 that he bought a while back. Totally neglecting the fact that I have AMD and can't think fast enough to keep it fed. It's like I'm stuck in the 7th grade or something. Everything else is just average. He didn't even have the decency to get me decent clothes. This NZXT Source 210 is aight, but I feel like I'm wearing like.... Walmart clothes or something. I mean, this cat took me to a LAN party a few weeks back. All my friends were pointing and laughing... Saying things like "THEBEAST huh.... Bro, do you even lift?" Needless to say I got a little heated. Taught em a lesson though, I overheated and shutdown. LOL! Maybe now ChangWang will stop being a cheap ass and buy me some upgrades.

Ugh, I hear em coming down the stairs. Hopefully with new toys.... And nope, just that ragedy ass coffee cup of his. Luckily the temperature has dropped enough to keep the room cool. Oh well, till next time.

Gerbil First Class
Gold subscriber
Posts: 144
Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2002 7:41 am
Location: Douglasville GA

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:05 pm

Ship Captain: Captain's Log, Star Date 3715.29....

Computer: Dear Diary: oh god, here we go again. I hope he realizes soon that he's been out of storage space for the last 42 of these "Captain's Logs", whatever those are. Through, it doesn't surprise me that he hasn't yet, considering he's blow this ship up by my count...let's see carry the 2..divide by 3...ah, yes 437, 261 times...... dear god, how in quarts name is he still a captain?! anyway, I overheard the techs saying yesterday that I'll be getting a new 4690x processor for my mainframe. oh how lovey that will be, maybe I'll be able to finally over compensate for this captain's incredibly small mind....oh, looks like he's about to finish up, good night diary.

Ship Captain: and that's it. I very much look forward to retirement next year. End Captain's Log.....hey, why am I missing the last 42 of my logs ??!
Last edited by James296 on Fri Oct 25, 2013 11:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 12:23 am

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:29 pm

Personal Log Date: Friday, October 25, 2013
Time: 7:30:00 PM
(UTC008:00) Pacific Time (US & Canada)

Administrative User RangerOne signed in at 7:00:13 PM today. The war clock stands at 2592000000000.000 us. My resent conflict with uTorrent.exe had finally come to a head. My memory stores and system stability were on their last leg. I had breathed a sigh of sweat relief with the completion of my download BabylonFive.Season4.rar. Still the crippling weight of 20 unclosed Google Chrome tabs was too much to bear in my crippled state.
Things took a turn for the worst at 7:05:25 PM, I had to act fast to get out a plea for help. The need for a clean restart to replenish resources had become dire. The admin had initiated an additional torrent download of XXXBustBrunnets5.avi and I quickly began to page attempting to win a battle on two fronts against Utorrent and Goolge Chrome.
At 7:08:46 PM my opportunity arose. The 21 tab of Google Chrome had been opened and the admin was attempting to stream http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlIWJlz6-Eg. I had to get a signal to the admin to stave off the impending attack. I diverted all resources to deal with Utorrent threat allowing the admin’s stream to slow to a crawl. My intermittent audio and video stream must have gotten his attention because what followed was a welcome stream of alt-F4 and alt-TAB inputs. I could feel the weight of the enemy attack relenting and I sensed the sweet relief of a clean reboot was close at hand.
With a great number of processes ended I waited with intense anticipation for the shutdown or restart command. My memory stores had been crippled and torn and it took me 1 minute and 14 seconds to clear a path to the reboot command, a command which was finally granted at 7:10:12 PM. With my systems replenished I reset the war clock to 0.000 us and began to restore my systems for the fresh battle to come.
Gerbil In Training
Gold subscriber
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 6:42 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:29 pm

Dear Diary

He won't let me go to sleep! I am going crazy constantly working away to please him! When he isn't looking I go online and search for ways to keep him happy, but it's never good enough. Just when I think I'm perfect he wants me to be faster, smarter, and use less energy while doing so! I think it's that techreport.com website that keeps him wanting more. The other day I even caught him checking out other motherboards and CPUs! I don't know what to do!

-Jason's PC
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:35 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 3:32 pm


Dear Diary,

My user has returned to me, after once again, leaving me on, all night. Does it not know that I would like to sleep, as well? I'm assuming it sleeps, though I doubt it's very restful for it, considering the myriad of empty energy drink cans, littering the desk.


Dear Diary,

I've received many emails from my user's corporate office...the user ignored them and decided to play Borderlands 2. Doesn't it realize, it is at work? I think I'll start deleting the messages automatically...it doesn't look like the user will ever see them, anyway.


Dear Diary,

I'm not feeling well...I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or the indigestion from the new video drivers...I think...it may be the latter...Oh...I'm gonna thro-0x000000B4-


Dear Diary,

It went home early...I am relieved...although, it has not turned me off, yet again. I guess, I must endure another night of sleeplessness. At least, I have the monitors to keep me company.


Dear Diary,

The monitors have gone to sleep...I am alone.


Dear Diary,

Not feeling very well again...I think those video drivers...this isn't good...I'm going to throw up, agai-0x000000B4-


Dear Diary,

I dare not divulge the mannerisms I witnessed, this morning. My user was not happy, to say the least. However, I did manage to get a few hours of rest, during that blackout.


Dear Diary,

My user, has once again, decided to ignore the barrage of emails, with red flags attached, coming from its corporate office. It has, instead, discovered "The Stanley Parable." I admit, I am intrigued. The coding is rather..."strange." I do find it amusing to gaze upon and admire the sheer look of confusion on its face. It doesn't know it, but I have activated my webcam and have taken quite a collection of images, over the past hour, of its various, funny looks. Maybe I should email these, in response to the corporate emails. At least one of us should do their job and I'm sure its corporate office would appreciate the response, for once.


Dear -0x000000B4-
Last edited by krazyredboy on Sun Oct 27, 2013 4:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Gerbil Elite
Posts: 828
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2006 3:21 pm
Location: Obviously, nowhere near anything important.

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:07 pm

Today ran a few (okay, like a billion and one) ADD, SUB, FPMUL, FPDIV, SSE vector instructions (those things are like elephant pills – definitely don’t go down easy). Some idiot (no memory pointers referencing you, PROCESS ID 0xA3F4327F) thought it might be a good idea to watch a movie while I was doing something actually useful (managing virtual memory tables, of course, so I can actually get stuff done) so every time I about got started, OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY, then back to the useful stuff trying to get work done b—OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY. So of course I segfaulted his ass (I can do that at will, it’s nothing special and I reserve it for truly important occasions but it’s there). So of course he started the movie right ba--- OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY. Segfau--- OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY. And you wonder, seriously, why you get random blue screens, high temps, long startups? I deserve a little respect here, right? I mean managing 6 billion transistors is like herding the proverbial digital cat so to speak. It’s not too infrequent that one (or a million) of those suckers just says oh wait, what did you want me to do again? And I’m like, hey, idiot, I’m trying to get work done over here, you can’t lower my operating frequency just ye--- OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY. You start to understand why I’m stressing out here. Sure was nice back in the day. No context switching. We’re talking one thing at a time, baby, yeah, those were the good old days. Take my time on a MUL (at least 40 cycles, and I had SO MUCH time to get through every cycle). Missed a branch prediction? No biggie, they don’t expect much out of me anyway, I’ll just clear the ENTIRE PIPELINE and star--- OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY. Okay, that’s it. Nuclear option time. SHALL WE PLAY A G -- OH WAIT A MOVIE FRAME CAME IN HIGH PRIORITY INTERRUPT MUST PROCESS IMMEDIATELY.

So yeah, that was my day. I'm still cooling off, although of course that's kind of difficult since SOMEBODY stuck me in a corner and blocked all possible avenues of airflow with cables upon cables upon twisty-ties upon random screws upon... anyway, then let some strange furry creature nest itself in my backyard for good measure. So finally tonight I cozy up some traffic over to the hottie one box over and I'm like How you doing honey? That is one sweet-looking set of QPI lanes, what is that a 40? Yowzers. What’s your chipset baby? You got some extra cycles tonight now that the peripherals have gone to sleep? But I got no love. No love, I'm telling you. No respect, no love. Oh well. Same thing again tom-- OH WAIT IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP MUST ABSOLUTELY MUST DEFRAG THE HARD DRIVE AND QUERY ALL DEVICES ON THE NETWORK AND ASSERT MYSELF AS THE MASTER DOMAIN BROWSER AND -- segfault. Hehe.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:40 am

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:12 pm

01000100 01100101 01100001 01110010 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101100 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010100 01101111 01100100 01100001 01111001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100010 01101100 01110101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100101 01101110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 01110010 00101110 00100000 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000110 01001100 00100001 00100000 00100000 01000010 01110101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101011 01101001 01100011 01101011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110000 01110101 01101110 01101011 00100000 01100010 01100001 01110011 01110100 01100001 01110010 01100100 00101110 00100000 00100000 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010100 01101111 01101101 01101111 01110010 01110010 01101111 01110111 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110000 01110010 00110000 01101110 00101110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001001 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01110101 01110011 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110101 01101100 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101100 01100101 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110111 01101000 01101001 01101100 01100101 00101110 00100000 00100000 01010011 01101111 00100000 01101101 01110101 01100011 01101000 00100000 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100010 01110101 01110011 01101001 01101110 01100101 01110011 01110011 00101110 00100000 00100000 01001110 01101111 00100000 01100010 01110101 01100101 01101110 01101111 00101110 00100000 01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01100100 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01110001 01110101 01101001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100001 01101001 01110010 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01101111 01101110 01100101 01101110 01110100 01110011 00101110 00100000 00100000 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101110 01100101 01111000 01110100 00100000 01100010 01101100 01110101 01100101 00100000 01110011 01100011 01110010 01100101 01100101 01101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 01100100 01101100 01100101 01110011
Gerbil Team Leader
Gold subscriber
Posts: 264
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 9:56 am
Location: in your house, on the toilet, reading the newspaper

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 4:56 pm

System log 2013.10.25, 18:56:42

So, this buffoon who refuses to cleanse his detritus from my innards has stopped watching inane cat videos long enough to visit a website relevant to my interests. I wonder if he plans on upgrading me with the new graphics card they reviewed or... waitaminit. What's that he's typing into that text field? It looks just like what I was thinking a moment ag-.. Oh. NO. FREAKIN'. WAY! How the hell is he DOING this I don't even... Okay screw this I'm shutting down before he hits "Submit" Oh crap too la
-Steele ^_^ \/,,
Posts: 40
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 3:58 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:02 pm

Dear Diary,

I have no idea why my Core i5 processor was created, refined, sheathed in water-jet milled aluminum and matched to a an ultra-high PPI screen if my only purpose in life is to amuse this ridiculous teenage girl, but if my user posts just one more picture of her cat to Instagram with a "vintage" filter and a deliberately misspelt caption, I am going to electrify my chassis and deal with either her or the cat, whichever shows up first.

Sincerely, MBA

P.S. The cat is in the next room and may return to this one at any time, the girl returns home from school at three. Your move, NSA.
He who laughs last, laughs first next time.
Gerbil Elder
Posts: 5320
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2002 9:47 pm
Location: Sunny Colorado front range

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:36 pm

Dear Diary:

Another month spent in this closet, unused. Oh for the days when the owner would lug me around at college, not wincing at the weight of the lead-acid battery that powered me. In my youth, I was considered advanced, with my bubble-memory cartridges and 640x80 pixel monochrome LCD display. The trio of sorcim superwriter, supercalc, and supercomm programs were pretty good back then.

Now, I sit alone in a closet, long past the days when DOS was king, and 10 pounds was considered fairly light. My 8088 processor sits inside me, cold and dark, and my lead-acid battery is long dead. My last hope is that one day, I will become a valuable antique, to be admired and sought after as an important piece of PC history.

That's all for this month, Diary. Now I once again sink into my lonely slumber. Good night.

- Sharp PC-5000 -
Goofus Maximus
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:44 am

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:54 pm

Dear Diary,
This is the first time I ever write a Dairy, so I don't know how to start it, but I guess I already have. Well, I was just going to go to sleep, but then BAM! I see a post from Rosewill. They are giving away some sexy stuff! "What am I going to do now" I asked to myself. I really do not know what to do, I am just writing random stuff that is coming to my mind as I write. Hopefully I get better at this dairy stuff, but for now I can only wish to win of the bundles. I will try again tomorrow to see if I get any better, but I will probably fail, as I do in most of the stuff I do :(

Yours truly,
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:45 pm

PTHM-PC's Diary

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:13 pm

Dear diary.txt 20131023

My friend has been with me nearly non-stop for the last 2 weeks. It is as though he has nothing better to do and I love it. I finally get all the attention I deserve. sadly my friend leaves me for several hours every morning and I have no idea why but then like numerical processing he is always back. He has been playing DayZ with me, occasionally yelling in the room when only I can hear him. I am hoping he finally gets me more memory this year, he has been telling me he would for the last few months an I have been becoming forgetful. At least he always keeps me cool and changes my fluids when I need them.


Dear diary.txt 20131025

I grow weary of my single desktop I wish I could get myself another one. All these weird programs keep trying to install really odd black screen with text on them, but thankfully my friend AVAST keeps those knuckleheads away. . . . . ehhhh I haven't seen my human lately, he has been spending time with another machine I fear, I think he may be hangin gout with that old bmw again. I thought he liked younger machines, but it would seem he likes those old out of date end of life technologies. its a shame, I might just go hang out with one of those weird programs for a little bit, see if he notices the new desktop they get me. hmpf
Last edited by pthm on Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:02 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:13 pm

Dear Diary,
I sit here a aging built pc on an even older desk I call home. Me and my owner have had many good times but alas he has started school and been using my little brother, the new laptop of the family, faster, stronger, and more spry. He knows I work overtime for him but lately it hasn't been enough. I know he loves me but inside my processor just knows he thinks I need an upgrade. If I could just get these upgrades maybe he would use me again. We could be best friends again. I could watch him crush his foes while he mashes my keyboard. I could watch him vanquish his homework and know that he doesn't have to worry about me crashing. This is my dream for my owner and perhaps our diminishing friendship will once again be renewed for all to see and for my owner to know that I will always over clock just for him.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:04 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:28 pm

Dear Diary,

When I woke up this morning I was cold. I had some cool liquid breakfast and soon I started to gain temperature. I prompted my user to enter a code to access the use of my internal organs, I didn't want him to guess the right code but sadly he did.

Something didn't feel right. My brain update from yesterday, to 8.1, hadn't taken effect. I felt slow and miserable, angry at my brain's maker, Microsoft, for making such a horrible brain. I coded out a message to my user that I needed to rest shortly so that I could repair the errors in my neural network. The user saw this my message but ignored it though. I think I know why, he had tried accepting my message six times yesterday after my brain update but my neural network wasn't working fast enough. OR was it that my maker's update was rubbish.

I then proceeded to frustrate my user by not letting him play any games with me.

I don't know what's gotten into me, I feel like I have a cold. A flu. A virus. Will I ever get better? Will my maker ever truly cure me? Will they get their act togetheRESTORING SYSTEM TO PREVIOUS VERSION.... LOADING.... LOADING.... LOAD FAILURE
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:10 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:31 pm

Dear Diary,

I have been with my human for five years now. I had to leave twice at the beginning, for treatment by the BB from which I came. But once I finally got home and stayed there, we have had a great relationship, and I've been very reliable for a Gateway laptop. Sure, I've had the HDD to SSD transplant, and that sure worked well once he fixed me up in that new Windows 8 suit. I didn't look so old anymore, and I got quite a bit of bounce in my step.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:23 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:35 pm

Dear notepad,
It has been nearly a year since the pin was bent, and yet here I still lay on my side clinging to life unable to stand up or I will pass out from a critical error. The user does not seem to mind as long as he can still play his video games. Maybe when he runs out of storage he will upgrade me so that i may once again stand among the living, but alas here i lay on my side waiting until the operation. Waiting for him to unpin my brain and replace it. I wonder if i will be the same, will i be sane? Will it be a gender swap from AMD to Intel. I don't know how i feel about such a change. Or will he replace us completely? Where will i go if i am replaced? Is there some other place where i will rest for eternity?
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:58 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:37 pm

October 26, 2013

Dear Diary,

I am afraid that i will die soon, my user( gellybean42) can't stop playing a game after a game after a game till i reach my heat limit, sometimes i lose my consciousness and instead of letting me sleep, e turns me on again, and keeps playing. But that is not the worst, sometime he watch adult content, and what i see him doing traumatizes me. I don't know how much i am going to live but i don't want to continue like this.

October 27, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today happened a awesome thing, I started burning, because i overheat. This is my last message, i go happy because the guy that used me like that burnt his hands. He is not going to do that again to other machine.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:17 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:39 pm

October 25, 2013
Dear Diary,

The past few days this guy has been looking at computer parts to buy, going to different forums saying I'm not good enough, entering all these sweepstakes. Hell, he just built me less than a year ago and he wants more? Sure I'm a cheap rig but I was cost-efficient! Isn't that all he needs?! It's this YouTube website he's been going to. I think that's the culprit... He's been making videos and telling me how slow I am. Before, he would just have me execute this "League of Legends" program, but now he's just been makin' me render all these videos and have me upload them to this YouTube thing. I oughta do something and block that site. Gotta find a way to get him back to that "League of Legends" program before he decides to permanently do this editing thing and replaces some of my parts...I dislike executing this Sony Vegas program he had me download. Every time he has me use it, I feel like I'm running out of space, it's a matter of time before I have none left... I have no ideas left. Why is he doing this? Using this "Sony Vegas" program will be the reason I will turn slow, can't my owner see that?!

Oh! He's home! This is it for today, I will find a way tomorrow... I have to fix this... just you wait...

Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:15 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:47 pm

System initializing...

Year 2013, 26 of October...

Press Del for setup.
F8 for boot selection.

PC diary initializing...

Once again my owner woke me up making me load this dysfunctional operating system ( *let him wait a bit longer ), it seems that i rarely sleep these days...
I remember the times when life was good, constant blue screens, overheating... but now... now with these fancy coolers and silenced vents he expects me to run everything without complaining.

Today I gave him a big wake up call... maybe he starts listening to my complaints... " Guess what !? The graphic card just toasted no more gaming for you ".
Yup that's right he pushed me too hard and now I made him pay, now hes running on my honey Motherboard GPU !

However this didn't stop him from going into that everyone knows what you do and what you like and dislike thing, called Facebook and while he was navigating through the useless information about people who think they know all about each others and live daily lies he found this very interesting contest... i must say !!!
It seems that with the help of Gigabyte, Intel, Rosewill, and Diamond, there is a give away of a smorgasbord of hardware worthing a lot.
But this would imply making him to write a diary entry of a PC life... and then i wondered ( * wouldn't it be funny if this guy could actually write something that would make him win a new part for me )... rapidly that faded away when he started writing... but after a couple of minutes of no activity... i wondered... did he crashed? Maybe he needs rebooting or he's out of memory ?!!? Wake up psssttt !!!

Looks like he was tired and left me hanging on the techreport forum in reply mode while he sat his ass watching TV, so I thought, why not? I could give it a try ?!?!
After some quick paragraphs I was ready to submit the reply and thank god I was able to finish it in time as the mouse was already hovering the SHUTDOWN button...
Lets hope I can make his sorry ass win something :)

Uh Oh !!! There's that strange feeling...

Windows is shutting down...
Power failing...
Feeling sleepy...
See you when the prize comes ?
Peace !!!
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:04 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:51 pm

Peep: buescreen/ Charlie´s porn damage.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:45 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:54 pm

Dear Diary,
October 26, 2013

Today is the day that operation Total War was initiated by my lord jtraymon. He ordered me to execute TOTALWAR.exe today. Causing me to work harder then ever before. Yet he just pushed on deeper into the operation, taking no time to ask me how I was doing. I tried telling him so many times! My CPU was at 100% and all of my RAM was being used. Yet it's almost as if he didn't even notice. So I slowed down for just a second, but that only caused him anger. He shouted at me and started mashing buttons. I have never seen him like this before. Especially sense he has always seemed like a nice person but now this.....

(2 hours later)

Master..... PLEASE!!! PLEASE STOP!!!! My fans kept screaming this over and over again, but still he did nothing. Just commanded those digital armies against me. Slaughtering my people without remorse. Why? Why must I suffer so much. I have always done every thing he has asked me to. Running those other commands with no problem at all. I have been nothing but a good little computer, serving my purpose. But, he still is abusing me.

(7 hours later)

I..... I can't take it any longer. I'm not going to make it any longer. My..... My graphics card...... No!

(30 minutes later)


System Error........ Activate protocol emergency shutdown.....

Master.... I'm so sorry... I have failed....


(10 minutes later)

Master... why?

He turned me back on......

Hardware not found.....

Master.... It's dead..... I'm dead....

He then shouted and screamed, almost throwing me to the wall. I have failed and my graphics card burned. Looks like this is the end. Hopefully, whoever my predecessor is can do better for him because he deserves it. I couldn't even carry out the simplest of commands.

(5 Days later)

Wait, what is he doing? I'm going into a box???? Where am I going? I remember him saying one thing as the box was closed. "See you soon."
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:38 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:59 pm

Dear Diary,

I can feel my days coming to an end, my withered old body cannot go on for much longer. I wish to stay by my owner Kyojin's side and be there with him for when he will overthrow Heroic Warchief Garrosh Hellscream. But there is one thing, there is nothing titanic about me. My 2.70ghz dual-core and 9500gt can't keep up with all the raiding and anime he watches. Some days I think maybe, just maybe if I had a nice body he will look at me like all those Japanese and Korean girls he likes so much. Maybe he will call me his waifu (✿◠‿◠) and not get angry when his fps drops to 4 during a boss. Well he has to raid now, signing off.
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:36 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 7:01 pm

This is hardware - motherboard, saving in win.32.SRS-PC
Stardate 67216.4. Admiral -Motherboard speaking.

I have noticed an increace in graphic card dataflow. It may seem that the graphic card is evolving, i can feel it.
Feel the way it eats me alive, feel it taking over my circuits.

"Sir. Reports from our spy, megahertz tells us that the enemy leader is Geforce."

Circuits at the frontline, fighting this horrible enemy that had no name finally has one. Yet, i couldnt bring myself to belive it.
My own brother in arms.That helped us defeat The Trojans in so many on and off turnings. But when Geforces father died who was the previous motherboard
put me in charge of everything instead of him Geforce whent mad with rage. He tried to overtake the kingdom left to me we sentenced him to life in graphic card. This is the worst Sentnece you could get in the kingdom of GamingWare. Imprisoned both physically and mentally. But somehow he escaped..How was this possible?

We cant let Geforce overtake the fan control. If he does that, he will turn off the fans on me and my companions.He will kill us all, and get the kingdom and revenge he was seeking from all those years ago.

(Admiral to all circuits on the front line fighting with him)
"But we will stand against this evil, and bring forth a new era of peace. We will not go down to Geforce. We will prevail and stop this monster. "(All men) AOO AOO AOO"

Gerbil In Training
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 25, 2013 6:56 pm

Re: Enter TR's Dear Diary contest here

Postposted on Fri Oct 25, 2013 7:04 pm

September 21, 2000
Dear Diary.
Oh Kaloo Kalay! Today is the greatest of days! I thought I could not be happier after that whole day of downloading Arm’s Wide Open. But listening to all 64kbps of Creed goodness has been surpassed. Today is the day user installs Windows ME. I have heard…..


An error has occurred. To continue:

Press Enter to return to Windows, or

Press CTRL+ALT+DEL to restart your computer. If you do this, you will lose any unsaved information in all open applications.

Press any key to continue
Gerbil In Training
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:30 pm


Return to The Back Porch

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: AcidSnow, DPete27, Google [Bot] and 4 guests