People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Hang out, sip some ice tea, and shoot the breeze with TR regulars.

Moderators: emkubed, Captain Ned

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Wed Apr 09, 2014 8:07 pm

You can't fix stupid.

However, lighter fluid is pretty cheap at Wal-Mart. /s


coal subscriber
MSI X58A-GD65, i7-920@3.8, EVGA 660 GTX SC SLI, Neutron 240 GB,2.75 TB Spindle Storage,ASUS DVD-RW, 6GB Patriot, Win 7 & 8.1 & Kubuntu Triple Boot, ASUS VK278 on DisplayPort.
zenlessyank
Gerbil
 
Posts: 88
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 5:15 pm

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Wed Apr 09, 2014 8:42 pm

Welch, I'm sorry if this is going to sound cold or mean, but people like her only continue to act that way because the people around her keep letting her get away with it - or in other words, enabling her - you included to some extent.

Leave her to fend for herself and watch how fast things change.
There is a fixed amount of intelligence on the planet, and the population keeps growing :(
morphine
Gerbil Khan
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 9934
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2002 8:51 pm
Location: Portugal (that's next to Spain)

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:38 pm

Welch, I submit to you that she actually DOES get it. And so does her son.

Everybody keeps giving them what they want! So they definitely "get it". They are getting it all!

And regardless of your rant to the opposite, you are actually volunteering to be their loyal servant. Some call this "enabling". Whatever name you attach to it, you are serving their hubris. The evidence is strong that you're so deep in these people's stories, with paragraph after paragraph of great detail regarding their attitudes, returns, breakages, phone arguments, lack of understanding of this or that, a true log of everything that they did. And their egos grow. Huge.

Talk to your wife about this; she's probably sick of them too. For your own health, you may want to step back a bit. Stop taking their calls for a week. Or a month. They'll get on. Or not. Whatever! :)

Oh and if you have made (or are thinking of making) the mistake of letting them live with you (or near you), well there's nothing that can help you until you move your keester out of there.
BIF
Gerbil Jedi
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 1544
Joined: Tue May 25, 2004 7:41 pm

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Wed Apr 09, 2014 11:55 pm

Count me in with the "she's found a soft spot" crowd. You've never posted anything saying that your better half is pushing you into this, so take the hint she's giving you. Leeches suck you dry and then move on to the next victim. Refuse to be a victim and force her off to the next one.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Captain Ned
Global Moderator
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 20112
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 12:38 am

This needs to be a Friday Night Topic two days from now
NeelyCam
Gerbil First Class
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 133
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 12:25 pm

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:47 am

Not everyone is smart. Not everyone is well educated. Not everyone is as 'fair-minded' as the majority of society. A lot of people love to play the victim.

Those are the problems here as I see it. People also naturally gravitate towards an environment which is accommodating to their behaviour and traits in a sort of Darwinian way. If you get by (or get off) on behaving a certain way than the environment which supports that behaviour is the one which is most attractive and fruitful to you. As BIF suggested if you have someone behaving badly in your life then it's quite probable that you're in some way supporting their bad behaviour.

Don't make the mistake thinking that you can change them, it's unlikely. There's a distant member of my family who seems to get off on lying to and stealing from people, even his own family, even his workplace jeopardizing a fantastic job. If he had a drug addiction perhaps his behaviour would have an explanation - but he doesn't. The drug seems to be the act of cheating others and for a while thinking he's getting away with it. We didn't stand for that behaviour around us and he doesn't come around anymore, but did he change his ways? No.

We can barely change our own behaviours, just observe how may people around you are 'on a diet' and how many succeed, that's all the proof you need for that. There is no harm in trying to help them but if you find yourself getting sucked into drama and wasting of your time and energy which is detrimental to your life it's time to distance yourself from them. Don't feel bad about it either, they WILL find other more accommodating people to fill your role in their life and they'll be happier for it.
4670K@4.5GHz | Asus Z87-A | G.Skill 8GB 2400MHz CL10 | GTX 660 2GB | Samsung 840 120GB |Thermalright Macho | Lancool PC-K59
puppetworx
Gerbil XP
Silver subscriber
 
 
Posts: 484
Joined: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:16 am

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 1:33 pm

What you guys are saying is dead on. I haven't enabled them at all after loaning him my atrix 4g that he broke. I thought I had mentioned it before but I guess I left those details out as well. My mother in law currently lives with us, it was meant to be for 1 year max while they moved here. Luckily for us after loosing her job she has already bought a ticket to move back to NY and will be gone in less than a week.

I learned a long time ago that changing someone that set in their ways at the age of 50+ is a near impossible task. At this point I don't care anymore and am happy to have them gone. My wife most certainly has been sick of it and wanted her mother gone back the second month they were here (7 months ago).

None of what you guys said was harsh, rude or mean. Its the truth. At first I was a bit soft as I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It didn't take too long before I noticed the futility of my efforts. I've since watched them run around like chickens with their heads cut off making costly mistake after costly mistake. I found it particularly funny that she boxed things up to send back home and lost her mind when the postal service told her it would cost 104.00 to ship it. After all it was a Lowes moving box that weighed 67 pounds. Yet she swears it was only $30 before. I receieved those boxes when they first got here and they were both much smaller and lighter.

I'd say that she is looking for attention, but knowing her at this point that is giving her way to much credit. She isn't smart enough to be that manipulative (her son is another matter). I mean this is a person who argued with me that the movie "The Patriot" took place during our Civil War and not the American Revolution. I eventually pulled up the movie Synopsys to show her. She then began to talk about how it was easy to confuse because of all of the British people who were in our civil war and fought with the south, something she had just learned about when taking her college history class.... can't make this stuff up folks.
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

i5-2500K|Asus P67 Sabertooth|16GB Corsair 1600|MSI 7850 2GB|250gb Evo 840|Corsair 400R|ET750w PSU|Logitech G5|Dell 2420L|Corsair Vengeance 1300
Welch
Minister of Gerbil Affairs
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 2617
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:45 pm
Location: Fairbanks, Alaska

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:08 pm

Welch wrote:MIL stuff


Just keep in mind, you married her. NOT her mom. There's no reason whatsoever that you have to put up with large amounts of stupidity (some is probably inevitable) just because you're married to her kid.
YOU CAN RUPTURE SOMEONE'S SPLEEN WITH A WATER BALLOON!!!!
idchafee
His Holy Gerbilness
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 13868
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2003 8:39 am
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:27 pm

idchafee wrote:
Welch wrote:MIL stuff


Just keep in mind, you married her. NOT her mom. There's no reason whatsoever that you have to put up with large amounts of stupidity (some is probably inevitable) just because you're married to her kid.
The success of this strategy is inversely proportional to the quality of the relationship She has with her Mom. ;)
Molon labe.
Vrock
Gerbil God
 
Posts: 20551
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: The Land of the Looney Lolcats

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:46 pm

idchafee wrote:
Welch wrote:MIL stuff
Just keep in mind, you married her. NOT her mom. There's no reason whatsoever that you have to put up with large amounts of stupidity (some is probably inevitable) just because you're married to her kid.

MIL called me this afternoon. Her 90-something boyfriend bought her a WOW! computer and I have to spend my weekend figuring out how to make it Alma-proof (that;s her name). So much for anything else that needed doing this weekend. Her youngest son bought her a Kindle Fire several years ago as a peace offering when he claimed that he couldn't make the family Xmas in VT from Philly because he & wife had no more time off, then posted Facebook pictures of his family on the Florida beaches. To this day my 16YO daughter tries to walk Alma through the Kindle and all Alma can say is "how do I get the typewriter?"

Wife's family is 7 kids and this idiot is the baby and was always coddled and shielded from his narcissism. I like his wife and his kids are OK, but he needed to be shot 20+ years ago.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Captain Ned
Global Moderator
Gold subscriber
 
 
Posts: 20112
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2002 7:00 pm
Location: Vermont, USA

Re: People who don't get it. (A Rant)

Postposted on Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:37 pm

Step one, install Debian Unstable. Step two, laugh evilly.

On a serious note, a full-featured Linux desktop environment is actually a pretty good choice for the web/email/documents crowd. It's hard to screw it up once everything's installed, and compatibility isn't going to be an issue if all they need are a handful of static applications.
NovusBogus
Gerbil XP
 
Posts: 492
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2013 12:37 am

Previous

Return to The Back Porch

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: cheesyking and 6 guests