[H] review of DNF

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[H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:13 pm

http://hardocp.com/news/2011/06/20/duke ... nkey_balls

" Thanks for boning my pooper for $50 Gearbox. If I had known you were going to butt bang me this bad, I would have shot myself up with AIDs first and put us all out of Duke's laughable legacy misery."


Stay Classy, Kyle.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:22 pm

steelcity_ballin wrote:Stay Classy, Kyle.


[OT]That bus left years ago for Kyle.[/OT]

DNF isn't getting good reviews from anyone really. I'm probably gonna wait on this one.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:26 pm

Kyle is awesome for values of awesome ranging from insufferable to completely moronic.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:04 pm

axeman wrote:You'd think they'd like it, since it seems to be aimed at the same juvenile idiots their site is.

Being juvenile is one thing, but when you're the owner of a fairly well traveled website, Injecting yourself with aids probably shouldn't be front-page material.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:24 pm

Just for kicks I pulled up a random review and found it to be so riddled with spelling errors that auto-correct wouldn't catch (integrate instead of integrated, for example) that I wonder if they're not more like AOL than AOL itself in that it doesn't matter WHAT gets written, just as long as it's SOMETHING that gets written. If they can't even get their peers to proofread, then you can be sure they don't care what goes into them.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:26 pm

I'm grateful for his wing-nuttedness. If it wasn't for his line-in-the-sand attitude about graphics card reviews I might not have ever found TR = )
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:26 pm

EDIT: Deleted for rockin' double post
Last edited by LaChupacabra on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:35 pm

They should port it to MAC and make the FAIL complete...
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:36 pm

what, making the same bizarre, unfunny joke on the front page wasn't enough for you? You didn't expose your wit to enough potential fans? Maybe you should put it up on Facebook and Twitter, too, and hope someone laughs.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:59 pm

derFunkenstein wrote:what, making the same bizarre, unfunny joke on the front page wasn't enough for you? You didn't expose your wit to enough potential fans? Maybe you should put it up on Facebook and Twitter, too, and hope someone laughs.


WTF are you talking about? same comment?

Apple charges outrageous prices and so did Gearbox for DNF (the steaming pile of poo)...seems like a match made in heaven!
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:13 pm

steelcity_ballin wrote:http://hardocp.com/news/2011/06/20/duke_nukem_forever_sucks_donkey_balls

" Thanks for boning my pooper for $50 Gearbox. If I had known you were going to butt bang me this bad, I would have shot myself up with AIDs first and put us all out of Duke's laughable legacy misery."


Stay Classy, Kyle.


hahaha oh man. Then again it is Duke Nukem so maybe he's just keeping with the whole juvenile nature of the thing.

Or not.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:44 pm

I'm waiting for the zero punctuation review. I bet it will be epic.

Although watching the gameplay videos on youtube, the game is somewhat Duke'ish. Maybe it has a chance.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:25 pm

Duke Nukem IP is finished.

Take 2 is just doing damage control on their investment. FYI, they made a multi-dollar deal back in 2004 with 3DRelams to finish DNF. 3Drelams failed to deliver, so Take-2 took legal action and acquired the IP. They threw it haphazardly to Gearbox to see if they can finished it. What we got in the end was a Borderlands TC mod. ;)
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:35 pm

DNF likely pushed a lot of copies. The pre-orders for it were pretty significant and it generated a lot of hype. It wouldn't be the first poor game to sell well. If the IP were finished Take Two wouldn't be using it for vehicles they likely already had in place.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:49 pm

bittermann wrote:
derFunkenstein wrote:what, making the same bizarre, unfunny joke on the front page wasn't enough for you? You didn't expose your wit to enough potential fans? Maybe you should put it up on Facebook and Twitter, too, and hope someone laughs.


WTF are you talking about? same comment?

Apple charges outrageous prices and so did Gearbox for DNF (the steaming pile of poo)...seems like a match made in heaven!

You made the same stupid joke here. It's so contrived and forced as to not be remotely humorous. If you don't know what you wrote where, is it possible someone else is using your account?
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:40 pm

bittermann wrote:They should port it to MAC and make the FAIL complete...

Made me laugh!
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:44 pm

Skrying wrote:It wouldn't be the first poor game to sell well.

Daikatana.

[/cough, cough]
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:47 pm

Krogoth wrote:FYI, they made a multi-dollar deal back in 2004 with 3DRelams to finish DNF.

A multi-dollar deal, yeah? Had to skip lunch that day? I have new respect for DNF now that I know it only took multi-dollars to do it.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:53 pm

derFunkenstein wrote:
bittermann wrote:
derFunkenstein wrote:what, making the same bizarre, unfunny joke on the front page wasn't enough for you? You didn't expose your wit to enough potential fans? Maybe you should put it up on Facebook and Twitter, too, and hope someone laughs.


WTF are you talking about? same comment?

Apple charges outrageous prices and so did Gearbox for DNF (the steaming pile of poo)...seems like a match made in heaven!

You made the same stupid joke here. It's so contrived and forced as to not be remotely humorous. If you don't know what you wrote where, is it possible someone else is using your account?

It didn't sound like a swipe at Apple to me. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Apple seems to be doing just fine at what they do :wink: This reminds me of the "from my basement I stab at thee" comic.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:06 pm

Gonna pass on this until it reaches $5.. I was so looking forward to this game as well but the flaws are too hard to overcome.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:15 am

Strange. I would have thought throwing poop at people would have been right up Kyle's alley.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 11:44 am

flip-mode wrote:It didn't sound like a swipe at Apple to me. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Apple seems to be doing just fine at what they do :wink: This reminds me of the "from my basement I stab at thee" comic.

I'm not defending Apple (nor did I call it a swipe, insult, etc. I no longer own any Apple hardware outside of an Airport Extreme, and the only other Apple hardware in my home is my wife's iPod Touch. There's nothing left worth defending) - I'm only saying that the comment itself was non-sequitur in nature and not remotely amusing as a result.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 12:49 pm

All the cool kids are hating on DNF these days. It's the hip thing to do.

My inner teenage response to Kyle is: "LOL Kyle". About the only response and emotion I can evoke over this.

Brent's video reviews and Paul's power supply reviews are about the only reason I wander over there. Paul's methodology is brutal and Brent is willing to accept he's wrong.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:11 pm

Ryu Connor wrote:All the cool kids are hating on DNF these days. It's the hip thing to do.

My inner teenage response to Kyle is: "LOL Kyle". About the only response and emotion I can evoke over this.

Brent's video reviews and Paul's power supply reviews are about the only reason I wander over there. Paul's methodology is brutal and Brent is willing to accept he's wrong.


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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:12 pm

When I played the demo, I couldn't help but think...

<shrug> "This probably would have been fun to play, oh.... 5-6 years ago?" </shrug>
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:08 pm

Ryu Connor wrote:All the cool kids are hating on DNF these days. It's the hip thing to do.

In this case I honestly think they're right. The original Duke was a fun, mindless, over-the-top shooter with original weapons (for the time) and great level design, crowned with some raucous humor. DNF is a piss-poor attempt at a bland, generic shooter which tries to to rely on "humor" to be in any way interesting... and isn't even good at that. Being offensive can have meaning in the proper context, but DNF is downright embarrassing.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 3:03 pm

Well the big issue with DNF is that it never could have lived up to the 12 years of hype no matter how good it might have been. I am sure gearbox got handed a sack of crap and had to make the best of what they had, and they did what they could to get it running and out. It may not be the best, but at least it finally saw the light of day. Now people can say yeah DNF came out, it may have been a terrible game but it did come out.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 4:22 pm

Starfalcon wrote:Well the big issue with DNF is that it never could have lived up to the 12 years of hype no matter how good it might have been.


See, I kinda think that's not the "big issue". It would be one thing if the game had been released for $25 with the sales pitch of "we launching what we've got rather than launch nothing at all". But this game is on sale for $50 - the price of a premium game. DNF is not a premium game - that is the big issue.

Another part of the problem is that 2k or whomever actually hyped the game up even more with their raucous trailers and such. They perhaps might have done better to play the thing down.

DNF did not get 12 years of hype. DNF got maybe 8 or 9 years of hype and by then people had accepted that it wasn't coming. So I think it was a bad move to resuscitate a corpse that had basically been rotting on the ground for 3-4 years. That's what really happened. 2k got this corpse of a game and instead instead of burying it and birthing a new DNF and raising it right, they put the paddles to the corpse and then marketed the thing like it was something sexy. They basically put a battery in a junk-yarded, rusted out, pissed in, broken down chop-shopped 68 Camaro and pushed it down the road to the car show. Sure, it's still got some semblance to a 68 Camaro but everyone knows it's junk yard material.

I haven't played the game, but that's my take on the drama that has unfolded. I won't be purchasing the game. First, I'm not going to spend money on a game that is technologically a half-decade or more behind! Apparently this game is weak by even DX9 standards. Second, the game sounds like it has basic enjoy-ability issues in terms of game play. Honestly, it doesn't sound to be worth $5. There are reviewers that struggled to finish the game at all! That sounds more like an unpleasant experience. Why in the world would I pay any money at all for an unpleasant experience?
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Wed Jun 22, 2011 9:27 pm

I reckon it's no small feat that gearbox even managed to get out a playable game from what was no doubt a complete dog's breakfast that they would have had to start from.

I still haven't tried the game, but honestly never held high expectations because its been in development so long I couldn't ever imagine it being a good game.
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Re: [H] review of DNF

Postposted on Thu Jun 23, 2011 12:14 am

TLDR: Long post is long: 1,774 words according to Word. Feel free to skip it and post pictures of cats. As I'd bet Duke likes cats.

I just finished Duke Nukem Forever and Call of Duty: Black Ops. I've been alternating between the two for the past few days now.

Beating DNF unlocks easy access to the cheats and perhaps more interestingly access to concept art, screenshots, and video from the permutations of the game over the last fifteen some odd years. You see certain settings repeated through the art and I think it lends a certain amount of credence to the idea that Yahtzee espoused that the levels of the game seems to bear some semblance to the FPS eras that have come and gone. The situation also fits the rumors that Broussard was driven by feature creep.

I also agree with Yahtzee that the expectations for DNF, time to completion, and even old gamers nostalgia ruined any real chance the game had at a fair shake in the eyes of both players and the press. VRock posted that he had never managed to beat Doom II without cheating. I meanwhile never bothered to complete Duke Nukem 3D, not even with the cheats. I only played it in Deathmatch a small bit, which was all fun and games until someone started putting laser tripwire bombs in the spawn points.

I didn't come into this with any nostalgia and fond memories. I wasn't sure what to expect, the fact that game toiled under twelve years of feature creep doesn't bode well for any project. What I found may be flawed, but the reviews I've read at ArsTechnica and even TheEscapist don't seem to have any actual bearing to the reality of the game.

Ars in particular expressed a feeling of shame and offense at the game. Duke3D never struck me as particularly politically correct even during the 90s when cigars and keeping money shot stained dresses unwashed was still in vogue. If it was offensive then, then more of the same definitely hasn't aged like fine wine now. Frankly though, compared to some of the antics that were possible in the Grand Theft Auto series (like buying a hooker, then beating the hooker to get your money back) I fail to see problem.

Explicit T&A, as if GTA IV doesn't have that? For that matter that's the one feature of this game that has been consistently promised for fifteen years. Ars tried to further fluff it up as feeling dirty for more than just the T&A, but also what he perceived as misogyny. Sure, women don't make out so well in this game. There are definitely no role models in this game for your daughters. There wasn't fifteen years ago either. Calling Duke a misogynist or even a sexist seems a tad over the top though. What Ars failed to mention was the blatant disregard for life Duke had for all the men around him as well.

If we're going to stop and do something as patently absurd as attempt to speak to the character we know as Duke, we're not going to find much depth. Duke3D and DNF are not character stories and they don't even pretend to be. Yahtzee hit on this as well. DNF is a story about an egomaniac. Your health bar is called ego. You get ego for trivial narcissistic actions that benefit Duke alone. You don't give a damn about anyone, nearly everyone you meet dies, and Duke couldn't care less. The most "remorse" you get from Duke is a pithy situation that makes light of the situation. Duke isn't a hero and "saving" the Earth is only happening because the aliens are getting in the way of our favorite megalomaniac, Duke. Duke isn't a misogynist he's a sociopath.

The death and destruction Duke causes is immense. The fight in Vegas levels the city, Duke blows up Hoover Dam, and then at the end of it all he espouses the desire to run for President. I didn't play the first game through to completion, but I seem to recall a similarly self-centered reason compelling Duke to action at the beginning of Duke3D. Doesn't Duke complain the aliens were going to pay for shooting up his ride?

So is their story? No. There is a premise, just as there was only really a premise in Duke3D. You are there to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and you're all out of gum.

Is there plenty of action? Yes. It's not Serious Sam level action. It's not even as crazy as some later levels of Doom, but it certainly seems acceptable.

Is it old school in it's play? Eh. Yes and no. For example the first and final boss fights are definitely circle strafe affairs. It's not as bad as Call of Duty games, but yeah, you do have to leverage cover and your regenerating ego now and again. I'd accuse it of being wholly CoD like, but CoD is actually more frustrating - to me - to play than Duke is. Duke is more durable.

The two gun situation? You know initially it felt just sort of wrong. They maps though do a good job of leveraging the mechanic. Sometimes they make sure ammo is or similar weapon drops are handy to let you keep their preference. Sometimes they limit the type of weapons to make you change the flow of your game. Game situation that are ideally suited to certain weapons always have those certain weapons lying around. Compared to some elements of the game I actually feel that this mechanic feels a bit polished.

Map design? Think a CoD single player map and you've got DNF pegged. You get some variety in level design, in terms of level concepts they largely lifted from other properties. One lifted item is the use of mounted turrets as per Half-Life and Dead Space. Dead Space wisely dropped that mechanic in its sequel, in DNF the regenerating health helps, but I'd bet I'd still end up pissed off if I had to use a gamepad. The driving as pulled right from Half-Life 2. The driving in HL2 and DNF were never amazing, but neither exceedingly irritating either. My only complaint to driving in HL2 is that the Source engine makes me motion sick. Only game that does that to me.

The puzzles in the maps aren't exceedingly complex. Puzzles don't seem out of place really. They seemed to have drawn a lot of inspiration from Valve (Half-Life style puzzles) right down to using barrels. The puzzles are definitely a point that separates DNF from being a CoD clone.

Where they goofed in the maps/puzzles I think would have to be the platforming. There are certain mechanics of the jump puzzles that are very well polished. From example the trampolines and even the climbing and dropping onto the next levels are automated in a nice clean fashion. Where I struggle is trying to remember the last FPS I played that had jump puzzles. Does Half-Life 2 even have them? I suck at jump puzzles and for the most part I found what they had implemented acceptable, but there were a few rough spots.

They tried to leverage some underwater content to add tension. You may of course be different, but I usually find underwater content to be frustrating, not tense. FWIW, I died in these sections considerably less compared to a few of the jump puzzles.

The humor in Duke3D was never - to me at least - bust a gut funny. In fact I struggle to think of the last game I played that had a one liner that had me losing my composure and doing something other than smile, roll my eyes, or snort. Nothing has changed here. There is some wit, there are some outright reference rips, hell one of the side characters is a direct rip of Marcus Fenix right down to the use of colorful metaphors every other word. There are some memorable lines, but I don't think you're going to find yourself falling out of the chair. Humor is pretty subjective it’s hard to say really.

The most disturbing content and level is The Hive. Way too much Hentai Porn (or Aliens to a point) watching amongst the 3DRealms staff: Rape/Non-Consensual, Ovipositor, Alien, Preg/Birth, and Snuff. I think this is the part that largely made Ars uncomfortable. Probably didn't help that Duke - unsurprisingly - couldn't care less.

Does it deserve the Metacritic score it has? I'm not so sure. I look at CoD: Black Ops and think DNF perhaps has gotten a raw deal. Black Ops is a one trick pony. DNF made an effort to enrich the gameplay with some different concepts; Black Ops largely sticks to one thing and never relents. All the Black Ops levels are just as linear as DNF, there's no attempt at humor, but there is an actual story. It would be remiss to not point out that The Black Ops story has seen its own share of critical derision. The Black Ops combat is frustrating regardless of driving or fighting on foot as the enemy - even on normal - has perfect aim and you are hampered by an absolutely god awful off the hip shot, limited movement speed and visibility while iron sighted, limited ability to deal with the grenades thrown at you, and a fragile amount of health for sustained damage. Sure they put lean back in for Black Ops, but the AI's aim is so perfect that you get shot for leaning around the corner to fire. Cover as a concept is pretty broken in CoD. The combat in DNF is nowhere near as broken or frustrating as Black Ops.

Black Ops made mega money - arguably because of the deathmatch - in spite of the fact its SP experience is pretty weak. DNF meanwhile gets crucified. I don't do the Deathmatch thing anymore so I can't speak to the multiplayer component of DNF.

Once you start playing DNF will you see it through? I honestly don't see why not. That's a pretty subjective thing. If you find CoD so boring you don't finish its single player, then I rightly suppose it's possible you might not finish DNF. Of course there's always the possibility you find the subject matter of The Hive so disturbing you'll quit there.

The game is probably more deserving of a review score in the low seventies. If you want to use those missing thirty points as a gauge for price, then I guess one should give this a look when it hits thirty-five bucks or less.
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