Ode to a Cubbie

[derFunkenstein]

I just want to go on the record to state that, even as a Cardinals fan, I love Carlos Zambrano. Not his pitching or his bat, mind you, although they're nice and everything, but I especially appreciate his ump bumping with subsequent ejections, his Gatorade machine bashing and especially his lawn mowing service (yes, I'm aware that he has a franchise now). Everything he does on the field and off of it. And I'm especially intrigued that he's very tech-literate.

So keep on keepin' on, Big Z, Charlie, Hot Carlos. May you continue to stay crazy, man.