I wouldn't say I've attacked people, rather I've ridiculed people with silly responses.
Let me clarify for the record and for the last time, since the thread has begun to become pedantic
We are talking about 4 IDENTICAL speakers on a decent quality amplifier.
We are talking about 4 speakers which are literally 110/110/ 95/95cm's from my head - the difference is 15cm's
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_of_sound <- read this, please.
Now.
EVEN IF these silly claims of harmonic buffer overflow goatse distortion and other things from HERE
http://www.satcure-focus.com/audio/page9.htm are even remotely true, the OP doesn't care - he (me) wants to hear video content, music, flash video from his speakers evenly, despite this apparent fact.
When a movie comes on which IS 5.1 and doesn't want to talk to my speaker, fine.
When a game comes on which has enemies in front of me and not behind - no rear sound is fine also!
However I would like a permenant surround effect, without adding some kind of hall / room / 'pro logic' trickery to the signal. I simply want it copied as Asus do with their Realtek onboard products.
Many other people want this and I don't think I should need to justify it, it's pretty standard stuff.
Sorry if I'm all

but I really don't have time to go into debate over the design of my ear canal, I just want a feature which seems reasonable to me on this 'apparently' premium product (which TR recommends mind you)
Hence the frustration.
EDIT: For the record several people have tried to offer some helpful suggestions.