Personal computing discussed
Moderators: askfranklin, renee, emkubed, Captain Ned
Buub wrote:Personally, I've found far more satisfaction with my wife who's into cars, motorcycles, hiking, camping, and in general living than if she were geeky. She helps prevent me from crawling into my shell, and it doesn't hurt to get away from the computer from time to time.
It helps that she's smart and understands technology, but our common ground is mostly the stuff that's not geek-related. The first step might be to discover what you really like to do that has nothing to do with technology. It might be a fun adventure.
destroy.all.monsters wrote:FireGryphon has stated some truly ignorant and wrongheaded statements, not to mention offensive, about the nature of introversion. Most of the people that I know that are introverted are powered by ideas and not by their love of hearing the sound of their voice. Not to mention that like most things it is something everyone has in degrees. I'd argue that anyone that derives pleasure from reading is at least partially introverted.
Extroversion also has a tendency to cover up the fact that many of the people that behave in that way just don't like themselves and constantly need attention to keep that at bay.
It's not a good/bad dichotomy either way.
TaBoVilla wrote:Buub wrote:Personally, I've found far more satisfaction with my wife who's into cars, motorcycles, hiking, camping, and in general living than if she were geeky. She helps prevent me from crawling into my shell, and it doesn't hurt to get away from the computer from time to time.
It helps that she's smart and understands technology, but our common ground is mostly the stuff that's not geek-related. The first step might be to discover what you really like to do that has nothing to do with technology. It might be a fun adventure.
I absolutely support this opinion. My significant other and I share common grounds on things other than technology (on my side) and girly stuff (on her side=), that makes the whole experience way more interesting than going the easy way and trying to match your partner's likes to yours (easy for you, one might think, but the whole experience ends up being shallower IMO)
Take this example: wife goes to see black swan, I passed on that one. She comes back and convinces me to watch the movie, I watch it and sorta liked it but then I tell her: "have you seen Fight Club?.." of course she hasn't seen it (being girly and all, lol).. later we see it together, she loves it! ..you discover things all the time you didn't know you could like! that's the benefit of being with someone who has different likings than your own.
More important than looking for a nerdy girl (in order to blindly match your likings and think that it'll be any different from any other woman out there when it comes to troublesome situations and giving you room, avoiding fights, etc) is finding a person who is tolerant enough to understand you like certain things and activities she might not like or appreciate entirely, but admires you for who you are, and at the same time, YOU give something in return in the shape of tolerance and understanding that she might not be exactly into geeky stuff, and learn to provide her with attentions and appreciation for who she is: another human being with different emotions, dreams and goals, who is whiling to share them, with you. =)
destroy.all.monsters wrote:depending on your geographical area.
Crayon Shin Chan wrote:I also like it when my girlfriend isn't into the same things as me. In fact, I find that to be a turn on in itself. And it's just as fertile grounds for conversation.
Spyder22446688 wrote:DeadOfKnight wrote:Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone hit the jackpot and found where they all hang out?
During my commute to/from work, I walk through the Washington Trade & Convention Center in Seattle. The Convention Center routinely houses Pax, Comic-Con, and a ton of other tech/nerd oriented conferences. I am always amazed at some of the hot nerd babes present at these things, especially those wearing tiny little costumes. I would suggest finding similar conventions in your neck of the woods. Said conferences are a total gimme for flirting and smalltalk.
destroy.all.monsters wrote:FireGryphon has stated some truly ignorant and wrongheaded statements, not to mention offensive, about the nature of introversion. Most of the people that I know that are introverted are powered by ideas and not by their love of hearing the sound of their voice. Not to mention that like most things it is something everyone has in degrees. I'd argue that anyone that derives pleasure from reading is at least partially introverted.
Extroversion also has a tendency to cover up the fact that many of the people that behave in that way just don't like themselves and constantly need attention to keep that at bay.
It's not a good/bad dichotomy either way.
FireGryphon wrote:whereas an introverted person only thinks of himself.
bthylafh wrote:FireGryphon wrote:whereas an introverted person only thinks of himself.
Wrong. Do try to understand the difference between introversion and extroversion before pontificating.
FireGryphon wrote:On what basis do you disagree?
Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life".[3] Introverts are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.[4] Introverts tend to be more reserved and less outspoken in large groups. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, music, drawing, tinkering, playing video games, watching movies and plays, and using computers, along with some more reserved outdoor activities such as fishing.[citation needed] In fact, social networking sites have been a thriving home for introverts in the 21st century, where introverts are free from the formalities of social conduct and may become more comfortable blogging about personal feelings they would not otherwise disclose.[citation needed] The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer, and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents.[5] Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement. They are more analytical before speaking.[6]
Introversion is not the same as being shy or being a social outcast. Introverts prefer solitary activities over social ones, whereas shy people (who may be extraverts at heart) avoid social encounters out of fear,[7] and the social outcast has little choice in the matter of his or her solitude.
Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life".[3]
bthylafh wrote:I don't see something in there about equating that to selfishness.
Merriam-Webster's dictionary wrote:self·ish
adj \ˈsel-fish\
1: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself
FireGryphon wrote:Thus I provide: if you're wholly or predominantly concerned and interested in yourself, then by definition, you are selfish:
FireGryphon wrote:Hey, read the definition, and study it a bit.
FireGryphon wrote:Are you sure you want to go by common knowledge on this one?
FireGryphon wrote:It seems we need an intro to psychology to continue talking about this, but as that's not going to happen, you can continue thinking what you want to think.
FireGryphon wrote:I'm, just a bit disappointed that there was such a harsh reaction to my claim.
FireGryphon wrote:I mean, whether I'm right or wrong, there's a common politeness and sense of inquiry I (wrongly) expect from people
bthylafh wrote:...and as usual, Glorious just can't let the other guy have the last word.
bthylafh wrote:He said that he didn't want to continue the discussion, but you just couldn't let it go.
bthylafh wrote:You've done that before when mods tell us to collectively shut up about something, and it's pretty immature.
Krogoth wrote:
/thread
FireGryphon wrote:Just look for girls in the regular places. If you meet enough of them you'll eventually be able to figure out if they have the qualities for which you are looking.DeadOfKnight wrote:Vrock wrote:'Geek Dating' is an oxymoron.
Being a geek doesn't automatically make you introverted. And even if the odds say it does, being introverted certainly doesn't make you a lifelong hermit either.
Introverted doesn't mean what you think it means. An introvert gets his 'energy' from within himself so he is primarily focused on himself. He'll talk about himself, make decisions based on his needs alone, etc. An extrovert gets his 'energy' from other people. He's more concerned with the needs of others and takes the group into account when making his decisions. It would make poetic sense if selfish people lived by themselves, but the fact of the matter is that there are many people who seem friendly but don't give a darn about others. When people use introvert and extrovert in common parlance what they really mean is how shy or afraid someone is.