Why is it that most females...

[Crayon Shin Chan]

don't seem to be able to survive without being in some form of a relationship?

You know the type I'm talking about. Those who only have about one month or so of "downtime" between each boyfriend, even though it seems they were sickeningly infatuated just before. Are they secretly really needy for a relationship, except it doesn't show as much because they're not the ones who do the asking out? Is this an inherently female thing?

I just wanted to pass this observation around, I know there are plenty of forums better suited to such a question, but it seems most people here are probably older and have some insight into this.

[Beelzebubba9]

I haven't noticed this confined to women - just some people only feel whole in the eyes of someone they're in a relationship with. I know plenty of men like this too.

And you know what? They're all lame.

[trackerben]

don't seem to be able to survive without being in some form of a relationship?

You know the type I'm talking about. Those who only have about one month or so of "downtime" between each boyfriend, even though it seems they were sickeningly infatuated just before. Are they secretly really needy for a relationship, except it doesn't show as much because they're not the ones who do the asking out? Is this an inherently female thing?

It's quite well-known. Women are best at pleasing men so that they can invite loyalty in a loving partnership. The evolutionary biologists theorize that it's due to their sociobiological need to secure material advantages for potential offspring. The philosophical moralists believe that women are driven to please men due to their intrinsic need for loyal partners in establishing strong households. Men evolved into or are driven to be arbiters of truth and social cohesion, and seek these aspects in long-run relationships with other men as well as women.

So, women enter into relationships hoping to find loving loyalty, men do so hoping to find loving respect.

[shaq_mobile]

*deletes huge post trying to illustrate the little that I know*

For the sake of sanity, I'd just chalk it up to the same reason that they all go to the bathroom together. Just pickup your favorite book and exercise your brain on something more productive. We're not here to figure chicks out, just to put up with them.

[WhatMeWorry]

Is this what you mean?

Men Look for Sex and Find Love. Women Look for Love and Find Sex.

[xtalentx]

Ha, to the OP your observation is correct.

A good friend of mine was dating a woman for about 2 years and she wanted kids, marriage, a house and all that stuff with him. Told him he was the only man she could love and that she would always be there for him. He didn't feel the same and broke up with her. Not even two weeks later she was living with a new man and engaged within another two months.

She obviously kept this other guy warm in case she ended up single. So much fear of being alone. I have seen it many more times but that example always sticks with me.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are my guy friends who break up and usually go a year or so before getting a real "girlfriend" opting instead to have more random encounters and hang out with the guys.

[annabel]

Chicks suck. Boo hiss. Let's have sexy time

[derFunkenstein]

Finally, bel is here. This thread was a full-on sausage festival.

I dunno you guys. You find one that's crazy in a way that works for you, love her with all you have, and go for it. Will it be perfect? How can it be, with two flawed people? Of course not. But you make the good outweigh the bad and you put her needs before your own. That's the secret to a happy life with a woman. I haven't been married as long as some of the people on TR, but I can say without a doubt that this recipe works.

[Captain Ned]

Yes dear, whatever you say dear (and follow up on it).

It's kept me married for 21+ years.

[xtalentx]

Yes dear, whatever you say dear (and follow up on it).

It's kept me married for 21+ years.

I made it ten.. I'm on number two now. I'd be happy with another ten.

[Beelzebubba9]

It's always funny to me when people try and quantify human behavior in such broad strokes then apply that to individuals.

Women are over half of humanity and certainly don't behave uniformly by any stretch. And it seems to me that people who think otherwise are speaking more for the company they keep and their prejudices than to reality. Just because one girl you know hops from man to man (also, what kind of needy weirdo would propose to anyone two months out of a long term relationship?) doesn't mean it's a female trait - it just likely means she's got self esteem issues. Not all women have problems with their self worth.

[cjcerny]

Could be a culture thing, but probably not. In my experience, there are lots of clingy women and lots of women who aren't the least bit clingy. Same is true of men. Generally, the older the individual is and the more relationships they have under their belt, both sexes improve their relationship skills over time and become less needy. Best bet is to tell your partner that you are not interested in clingy as soon as you detect that they might be. They will either stop or they won't. If you yourself aren't afraid of being alone, then there isn't any danger in saying something to someone who you think is.

[redavni]

Trying to understand women will lead to enjoying them less. Just enjoy them for what they are. Know what you want.

If the reason for posing this question is not pure science, when you do figure out the answer to your question (and an answer does exist) it could end up leading to aversion. You don't want that do you?

If you are still in your 20's, I'll let you in on something that the girls know and don't want you to though. Up until 30ish, it's men chasing women with rare exception. After that the equation reverses. An employed, half-decent looking guy almost has to beat off the women.

[ludi]

I haven't noticed this confined to women - just some people only feel whole in the eyes of someone they're in a relationship with. I know plenty of men like this too.

This. It's not confined to just one gender. In any case, some people get stuck in this rut because of low self-esteem or a lack of any hobbies/interests. I knew a few people whose sole goal in life was to "be with" someone, and since they literally had no way of defining themselves apart from that goal, at least a couple of them ended up making hasty, poor choices.

I say, learn to be someone interesting, and then look for someone who is both interesting, and interested.

[Flatland_Spider]

don't seem to be able to survive without being in some form of a relationship?

This is co-dependence (Hey, college is paying off. ), and I think you might be short changing women a little bit.

Those who only have about one month or so of "downtime" between each boyfriend, even though it seems they were sickeningly infatuated just before. Are they secretly really needy for a relationship, except it doesn't show as much because they're not the ones who do the asking out? Is this an inherently female thing?

Are you sure the 1 month downtime isn't because women hold the power of selection in relationships and being single is a choice they make? Seriously, guys are like puppies, or sharks, I'm not sure which is more apt. You show up, the puppies roll around at your feet, then you pick one up and take it home. With sharks, a little bit of blood, and they show up ready to tear everything up.

To answer you question, it's more opportunity then anything else. Girls aren't anymore needy then guys are; they just have more options.

Then there is how society expects men and women to act. Guys aren't supposed to show emotion, and if they do, they get labeled as effeminate. Girls can show as much emotion as they want. They're supposed to be weaker, so it's expected that their emotions show more.

[Meadows]

Guys aren't supposed to show emotion, and if they do, they get labeled as effeminate.

How is that a bad thing?

(Just here to break the flow.)

[TDIdriver]

a lot of times it's daddy issues. that was the case with the most clingy of girls i've dated(who also seem to never not be in a relationship).

it also can be due to the difficulty a lot of girls have in forming close friendships with other girls. they can be pretty judgmental of each other.(my ex and I had a discussion about this once lol)

[annabel]

Men and women are very different and need to stay very different. That's why a great relationship is basically just one that balances you both out together. I'm pretty normal, my dude is a nutter, for example. 

Men who never show emotion = totally lame and never relationship material. It's like the biggest warning light ever flashing over their head.

[Flatland_Spider]

Guys aren't supposed to show emotion, and if they do, they get labeled as effeminate.

How is that a bad thing?

(Just here to break the flow.)

I don't know. How?

I wasn't making a judgement. I was just pointing out the differences in societal expectations of men and women. There is no color there; it's just black characters on a white page.

If you want me to play devil's advocate...

It shows that men should have a callous disregard for others and look up to others that share the quality. Look at how many CEOs share psychopathic traits. Is this because they are positive traits in a business setting, or is it because it's what we value as a society?

Repression is never good. Emotions just get bottled up, and they come out. The person really has no control over how the repressed emotions come out, and that can be much more harmful then the original emotion.

[Vrock]

Why is it that so many males ask about females on a tech forum that's almost 100% male? Sigh.

[MadManOriginal]

I refer you to this Seinfeld episode: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Abstinence

Also, attractive women have guys lined up waiting for a chance, so whether a real 'relationship' forms or not they will usually have the option of being in one pretty easily, even if what is called a 'relationship' by one party is really just casual dating at most to the other.

[Yeats]

Why is it that so many males ask about females on a tech forum that's almost 100% male? Sigh.

What does the "V" in "Vrock" signify?

[blitzy]

<chicks brain>what can you provide for me?</chicks brain>
<how chicks act>show interest only if there's something in it for me</how chicks act>

<guys brain>I'm makin' sperms</guys brain>
<how guys act>tell them what they want to hear so I can release the sperms</how guys act>

[idchafee]

[quote="derFunkenstein"You find one that's crazy in a way that works for you, love her with all you have, and go for it.[/quote]

This. My wife is the sanest women I've ever met, and almost every day she says or does something that makes my mouth hit the ground

[just brew it!]

My wife and I are both crazy. But we deal with each others' craziness well. Most of the time.

[Krogoth]

I thought that girls didn't exist on the internet!

[derFunkenstein]

Why is it that so many males ask about females on a tech forum that's almost 100% male? Sigh.

It reaffirms their...uhm...something. I dunno.

[Flatland_Spider]

Why is it that so many males ask about females on a tech forum that's almost 100% male? Sigh.

Do you have suggestions? We could go to one of them, but it might be a blood bath.

[Madman]

EDIT: bad joke

[bthylafh]

EDIT BY MOD - Captain Ned - Downstream cleanup of self-policing

One hopes it wouldn't be as catastrophic as the old Usenet Meowers flamewar.