Feeling Blue

Hang out, sip some ice tea, and shoot the breeze with TR regulars.

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Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:14 pm

Hey there, gerbils. I'm not sure this is the website to be posting this but since TR is my usual go-to site and there's no other site I feel more at home with its members than TR, I thought maybe I could post this here.

It's about me, and perhaps about some of you guys here as well. I think I'm somewhat being depressed these days. I no longer enjoy the things I used to enjoy (like playing computer games, reading books, etc.), I feel exhausted and sad even after just waking up, etc. Every morning at around 5:30 I wake up but it seems I don't wanna wake up because I wanna go back to my dreams. When you dream, its like you're in a wondrous, timeless place and coming back to our reality is a big effort. Suicidal thoughts? Sometimes. But it's because somehow iv just wanna rest in peace. Maybe there's a better place out there where there's no sadness and everything's just pretty and cheerful. Kinda like the Hundred Acre Woods or something. I dunno, guys.

What do you think, guys?
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:22 pm

I think for real you should seek counseling. No joke, no insult. Mental illness is a real thing and you need a real doc to help out. If you've thought about ending it, don't delay.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:26 pm

I went through a phase like that about 2 years ago. Before trying to get help, try to help yourself. No one can pull you out of depression except yourself.

Also, try the following exercise: do pushups until you can do no more. Then wait 1-2 minutes, then do another set of pushups until your muscles are burning. Exercise really helps get rid of depression.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:30 pm

Dude are you OK? I agree with DerFunk... it's no shame feeling down and getting some help if you need it. I've been through some low points in my life too (and no, they have nothing to do with flame fests on TR :P )

You're up in the Great White North right? Even down here in the lower 48 this time of year is when things get gray and the sun goes down way too early. You might be getting hit with SAD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_a ... e_disorder) or it could be job stress or any of a whole number of reasons. It's OK to get some help if you need it though!

Take care of yourself man! I love reading your posts and I like having you around here!
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:48 pm

As someone that from a very young age had to deal with mental illness in my family, I have a very strong passion, and empathy for people with mental illnesses, especially bipolar disorder(my mom), and depression.

None of us are qualified to give any level of medical advice other than "Get professional help!" if you think it is affecting your way of life.

My cousin which I never got to meet committed suicide because he felt he had "no way out".

Ronch, You ALWAYS have a way out, and I feel very confident that you went ahead and posted here, this means to me that you want to "engage", to look for that "way out", that solution to your problem.

Do not despair, we all go through hardships, what we cannot do is to run away from them, we must "engage" them, and I think that if you posted here, the next best step would be to engage with professional help. I will give you my support however small it is. Believe in yourself!!

Suicide is never the way out!!!
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 8:56 pm

As always it depends how serious your depression is.... but if it is mild then there are steps you can take to get yourself out of it. Give yourself a reason to get up for the day, such as scheduling something you really enjoy doing later during the afternoon or evening. May sound silly on the surface, but I'm serious when I say having something you can look forward to tomorrow after the grind of the day can change your own perspective around, and at least for me it pulls me out of a funk.

Personally, I like nothing better than blowing an hour (or more) on a rare engrossing book while enjoying a hot pizza from one of the better local Italian pizza parlors I've found. It's pricey pizza but worth splurging on infrequently!

Pick something in the top 5 things you enjoy doing or find relaxing and set aside time for it. Give it one or two genuine tries... if that didn't help at all then I'd say this was more than a mild condition and ya should definitely have someone check ya out. Sometimes there can be some underlying physical cause behind it, in which case the only way to get back to your old self will be for a doc to find it and sort it out first.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 9:07 pm

i dont like talking about it much but i have problems with depression and anxiety and insomnia (crazy 2 days awake at a time insomnia) for around 10ish years now (as the OP said this is TR and most are more mentally mature about these things here)

as others have said you really should see someone about it as it can get out of control
now do psychologists FIX you? no (not in my experience anyways) but they do help you have perspective and help you with dealing with it on a day to day basis and they give you tips on how to live your day to day life

i still have troubles with it but im not in such a bad place as i was many years ago - my main issue i have now is finding work as i have very erratic sleep

again you really should see someone and remember things really aint as bad as you think they are sometimes, so in your worst moments think of the best moments in your life and everything you have achieved

edit: im not sure if there is an american version of it but i talk to people at beyondblue http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ sometimes when im not up for a psyc appointment
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:39 pm

Well, it is a good sign that you have the energy to even post here.

About 7 years I had a complete nervous break-down. Couldn't even get out of bed. Scary stuff. Thankfully my wife told (make that ordered) me to seek help. I dragged myself to just my family doctor who was really cool and started me on an anti-depressant. He said they don't use the term nervous breakdown anymore and I forget what term they was using. But it still felt like I nerves were broken so I like the term. He said it was the most common class of drugs their practice prescribes. Although it can take weeks (6 I believe) I found myself able to function perfectly. In fact, I think I have never felt better.

I also went to a psychologist or psychiatrist twice, but I had such fantastic results with the drugs that I did not see the point continuing with the "talking cure". Also I had a happy and normal childhood it was pretty boring.

I feel like anti-depressants have gotten a bad rap lately. They were literally a life saver for me.

PS. I felt so good the 2nd year that I went off them and damn if the same cycle started again. Went back on again of course and probably will be for the rest of your life.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Mon Nov 11, 2013 11:57 pm

derFunkenstein wrote:I think for real you should seek counseling. No joke, no insult. Mental illness is a real thing and you need a real doc to help out. If you've thought about ending it, don't delay.

This. Talk to your doctor and/or seek some sort of counseling.

I think everyone has been affected by mental illness at some point; if not personally, then via a close relative or friend. It is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, and the effects can be devastating. It is just as real as any other illness, the only difference being that it happens to affect the brain.

If you are seriously thinking about harming yourself, then you need to see a medical professional. Stat.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:08 am

Thanks for the replies, guys. Didn't realize TR gerbils can be such a caring bunch. I'm obviously not out of the woods yet. In fact, just read about the Kaveri article. Normally, AMD news like that would make my day but I just couldn't feel any excitement. I should talk to the wife about this but one thing I found out is that she's not very sympathetic when I feel down.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:27 am

[deleted].
Last edited by StuG on Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:27 am

I am in the same boat bud depression sucks along with anxiety through the roof that comes and goes. Loss of interest of things that used to give me great joy just don't do it for me anymore and the dreaded insomnia. I have a awesome gaming rig I am currently moving into my closet in the bedroom right now since I watch movies and TV more the gaming by a long shot, Plus the Smooth Video Project will work better a lot better on my gaming rig.
Crying could be kicked off over a stupid movie or it could be kicked off from thinking about my brother or father who have both passed away. But the suicidal thoughts are fleeting though since I could not do that to my wife "who happens to be my best friend" or what is left of my small family. I see a therapist every 3 months just to talk about what is on my mind. I do think it helps a little bit. The best Therapist is my wife of 20years. Sorry to hear your wife is not sympathetic to your feelings :cry: Anyway do not be afraid to cry a little bit........I know, I used to say to myself I am a strong guy crying is for wussies.
I could not have been more wrong...after holding in your feelings after say a real bad week a good cry does surprisingly help I think :oops:
But do not give up on yourself. I have good days and bad days. believe it or not helping others say here on the forums or someone broke down on the street, helping some elderly person at the supermarket etc seems to help me a lot. Funny sorta when I am the one that feels like I need the help more then everyone else.
Talk to someone about how you feel....professional or a friend to start with, but above all else do not give up. feel free to PM me if you have any questions or you just need to talk. I go for many walk at night with my cell phone in one hand and my thoughts slipping through my other hand.

Ohh the HDMI cable in my gaming room was hooked up to a mini HDMI adapter......I went to plug in my HD 7750 and I had no video. Turns out the freaking male end of the HDMI cable broke my HDMI output on my hd7750 by pushing the pins out of the HDMI output on my hd7750 breaking it. I verified it was the HDMI cable by starting to plug it into a hd 6450 i have sitting around and it started pushing the pins out. SOB!@!
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:49 am

"I'm blue, da ba dee, da ba di"...
http://youtu.be/GaEZrJ1EBgQ
:wink:

Srsrly, though, just like others have said - find a good general doctor, let him do as many tests as possible (check for bacterial diseases like Lyme Disease, check your vitamin levels, check your thyroid hormone levels, do tests for other autoimmune disease, etc.), if you're absolutely clean - find good psychologist, let him try out Lexapro/Wellbutrin/Abilify/whatever (he should know best what to try), ask him to recommend a good support group. Meanwhile try to find a different hobby, play some online games with large amount of people, watch some streams on Twitch.tv if you cannot play these games, learn how to drive fast using cars/motorcycles, etc. Perhaps even try out a different religions - sometimes they can work much better than any "official" support groups :wink:
http://youtu.be/5jOhOB8MD7g
Just don't get involved with some crazy cults - totally not worth it (I've seen other people try that) :-?
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:02 am

Just tried to talk to the wife about it. Shouldn't have. Stupid me.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:50 am

ronch wrote:Just tried to talk to the wife about it. Shouldn't have. Stupid me.


Talk to your close ones, and your friends about it. You need to find a support system. We gerbils are a caring bunch like you said, but there is a limit to the impact that we can do. The good news is that you have engaged so far, and the next best step would be to get professional help. I can't stress this enough. Do not underestimate this thing that you are going through.

There is no shame, nor do not let anyone make you feel like you should be ashamed, need to fake your true feelings, and so forth, at the end it will end up eating you inside. These things can't be inside of you without eating you.

I hope you will do your part, Ronch, so we can have a more healthy Ronch. It would mean alot for us caring gerbils if you sought professional help, and committed yourself to a more healthier Ronch.

Hang in there!
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:53 am

You could try recommended doses of tyrosine. It's an amino acid so no worries about harmful effects. Especially helpful in the morning.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:32 am

Ronch, I've been concerned about you. Some of your recent posts made me suspect you're in a funk. Many here are concerned for you and gave good advice when they said you don't have to suffer this thing you're in and suggest ways. Go see a specialist, an endocrinologist or wellness expert or psychiatrist to clarify things. If your issue is non-clinical in origin you could try changing your routines, your diet, your sleeping schedule. You cannot change your wife (or parents or boss), but perhaps a change of place or company might help? Try getting away from family or work some days to refresh your spirits. Do regular lunches with anyone who will lend you his time and ear. You might be surprised at how helpful or comforting this could be.

If you have more than a physical affliction, you can always find a way to overcome. Seek spiritual counsel if the idea brightens your thoughts, talk to pastors you might know and importantly, respect. Could be it's an exceptional trial you're undergoing and you're due for personal transformation. You'd know sooner or later. But if it's just a passing phase, keep going out and sharing with others you care for, particularly friends who have regular lives and who can balance your outlook. Don't ever think it's a good idea to be absent from others. Although, try avoiding people going through a similarly hard time for now. And be wary of spending time with female friends you might be tempted with (no sense adding to your problem). Sharing with others who care personally and can listen objectively usually does wonders for me, and I bet it will do the same for you.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:26 am

I find I always feel a little out of it when I stop exercising. Lifting weights helps me keep my energy levels up and just makes me feel good.

Not trying to hijack the thread, but Stronglifts 5x5 really keeps me going and feeling awesome all the time. My wife notices how much better I feel and how much better my attitude is when I work out.

Go to the gym 3 times a week and rotate the following 2 workouts. Start low and add 5 lbs per workout.

http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5- ... g-program/

Workout A:
Squat 5x5
Bench Press 5x5
Barbell Row 5x5

Workout B:
Squat 5x5
Overhead Press 5x5
Deadlift 1x5

I know the website seems like a pitch from a cheesy car salesman, but it works wonders and with commitment dedication you can really improve the way you feel every day and gain some confidence. Working out while listening to some metal or hardcore will make you feel unstoppable 8) . Sorry if I'm coming off as a total gym bro meathead, but it's worth a shot to give you some motivation and get you out of your rut!

*this motivational message brought to you by the guy who skipped the gym all week to play Battlefield 4*
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:03 am

Go see a doctor. Really. Past experience: 1 light depression, 1 heavy one, 1 very heavy one, severe insomnia.

Right now you need a little medical help and probably some sort of antidepressant to get you back on a decent state of mind. Antidepressants, however, don't solve anything, that's up to you.

I'm going to summarize how these things works: you start taking an anti-depressant, after 2-3 weeks it takes effect. It won't do anything to you except that you'll be able to think straight again. And at that point you can identify and sort out the things that are affecting you. Don't make any big decisions while in this state. It's exactly the same as making decisions when angry - half the time they're wrong, if that much.

Having said that, once you've meditated on your issues, don't be afraid to:
- Move.
- Change job.
- Get a different girlfriend (doesn't apply to you since you're married).
.. and so on.

Once you lock on the things that are affecting you, you'll find that you don't have answers to all of them. So start building defenses: avoid things and situations that bring you down. A good warrior knows how to pick his fights.

In the short term, here's something that helped me cope in the past: every day I tried to perform some useful task, even if it seemed insignificant. Fixing a door handle, cleaning up some shelves, organizing the movie collection, etc. The feeling of accomplishment can be a very powerful thing.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:12 am

My sister and my girlfriend both suffer from depression and I'm always rational and optimistic, even under stress - so I can maybe provide some useful advice based on what I've seen work from the other side of the fence. Clinical depression is very different to just being unhappy. It's a curable/treatable chemical imbalance in your brain. Everyone gets unhappy, but someone who isn't depressed stops being unhappy again when there's no reason to be.

1) Get plenty of sleep. Everyone's different, but make sure you're getting into a regular pattern of at least 7+ hours a night, no exceptions, for at least a few straight weeks.
2) Eat healthy, or if your habits and diet don't let you do that, at least take vitamin supplements
3) Cut out massive sugar swings. Processed candy, soda etc. Caffeine isn't actually too bad but again, stick to tea or coffee, and in moderation only.
4) Relax. If you're stressed about something, get it crossed off your to-do list. If you need time off work to do this, burn some vacation or talk to your HR department about getting some sick leave. Look up your company's policy on CFS or clinical depression - they may even pay for counselling for you.

Talk to people. Try and find solutions to the things that aren't necessary serious issues, but still niggle you. For some people (and no, I'm not a shrink) the issue seems to be the mental burden of lots of trivial things that just seem suffocating when combined. Tackle problems one at a time and set yourself a goal, specifically a realistically achievable goal. You can always set a higher goal when you get there - but you have to feel like you're making progress at something before "lack of visible progress" is just one more trivial problem added to the pile.

Counselling is optional but it rarely does harm, and my sister who lives pretty near the breadline with her salary and mortgage combination still feels that the counselling is worth it.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 9:30 am

/biginternetbrohug, ronch. It happens. I've felt pretty down myself over the last couple years. When I was unemployed, when I moved to a new city for a job and didn't have many friends around, and when I was frustrated with said job.

As others have said, consider counseling. It will guarantee someone to talk to, and it is possible that you have depression that needs medication. My mother and wife are both on anti-depressants right now to manage their depressions.

And as for the other suggestions, those help, too. Change up your hobbies. Maybe pick up a sweet pair of headphones and start listening to new music. Try learning guitar (or drums). Heck, I got a lot of enjoyment out of restoring a snare drum I bought on ebay. You might just need a break from games and books so you can come back to them later, and it can't hurt trying something new.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:13 am

Hey there!

To echo what other gerbils have said, working out really helps depression. I'm a chronic sufferer myself and while I'm not a Dr I'd encourage you to see a therapist and/or a psych in addition to trying a workout regimen. I'm nearly 30 and working out for me is the best thing ever. Not only do you feel good but after you start to see results your confidence goes into overdrive. People notice, you feel good about yourself, it's good for mental and physical health!

I stopped buying computer parts for a bit and invested in a squat rack and bench. Best money I ever spent. I'm stronger than ever, my depression is but a whimper anymore (still taking my meds though!) and all around I'm better now than I ever have been. For me, the biggest thing in conquering depression is realizing what's real and what's the depression trying to bring you down. Once you can identify the negative thought patterns and realize that it's bunk, depression doesn't have nearly the hold on you.

Take care of yourself, love yourself.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:35 am

I think for real you should seek counseling. No joke, no insult. Mental illness is a real thing and you need a real doc to help out. If you've thought about ending it, don't delay.


This, 1000x this.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:18 am

Get checked out by a doctor first to diagnose any physical issues. As I got older I was worried about low testosterone levels and found out it has a profound effect on your mood, mental sharpness, and energy among other things.

Prevention is better than cure so I would say hit the gym. I really believe it's the solution to any and every problem and can save you. Especially do the group classes, it's easier to keep it up and the workout is more effective. I can't stress going to the gym enough - mood, memory, sharpness, energy, healing, immunity, confidence, everything about you and your life will just be ... better.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:48 am

Gym is always better with a buddy. It's good to have some bro time and have someone who can encourage you along the way.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:52 am

After you get help, or as part of it, seriously look into something else as a new additional hobby and/or activity.

For me to combat blue feelings, I am always learning and teaching myself new things. I find that if I don't keep my noggin and body busy, I fall into a funk quickly.
Stop reading the news/media. It sucks, and it is intentional. I swear they are in cohorts with drug companies to sell anti-depression drugs. 4 new stories about global warming and doom and gloom a day does not help anyone.
Get outside, get some sun, wind, rain, etc. Take walks.
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Spend time every day thinking up something new you are thankful for. It really makes a difference. This morning it was "I did not get hit by a meteor while waiting for the school bus with my son", besides the classic "I woke up".
I try to convince my wife that sex helps too, but she doesn't buy the frequency required. *sigh*.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:27 pm

Ronch,

A lot of people have mentioned exercise. Also, if you think a lack of sunlight might be contributing, a Seasonal Affective Disorder lamp could help. Or perhaps simply some vitamin D pills.

Common opinion seems to be that if you see a psychologist, you must be defective. And Hollywood portrays them as crooks and buffoons. I don't believe that to be the case at all. I bet if you find the right one, a psychologist could be very, very helpful. I'm pretty capable in Excel, but I took a couple of quick Excel classes to show me new tips and tricks. I saw a relationship counselor with my girlfriend when our relationship wasn't in trouble just because I wanted to find a way to make it better still. Don't buy into the misguided sentiment that seeking help means you're defective. A good music teacher can always help you improve, no matter how advanced your current skill level on your instrument. Find a good psychologist.

My opinion of psychiatrists is that prescribing is far more guesswork than you'd expect or prefer, and that while some people respond well to drugs, some people don't. It may be worth looking into.

I went through a hard breakup a year ago, and I was quite blue. It took the breakup for me to realize I let basically all of my friendships slide, and that I was less involved in hobbies than I had been for years. This was not a good place for me to handle this new earth-shaking change in my life. So I joined a couple book clubs, and a couple other hobby clubs, and I went out to dinner with groups of strangers I met on MeetUp.com. I forced myself to make some new friends, and I set goals for getting more involved with my hobbies. The social interaction was terrifying at first, but it really paid off. I'm more involved in my hobbies than I ever have been, and although none of my new friends are great friends, it's still a world of a difference. I'd say get busy. Get involved in things. Don't allow yourself to sit on your butt and mope. It's hard and scary, but it's worth it.

I believe you mentioned you are married? Try putting more energy into your relationship with your wife. Be romantic; plan some dates. Take her out for a fancy dinner, see the symphony, etc. And talk with her. A lot. A deeper bond with your teammate for life could really make a difference.

I'm here if you need me. And it appears many, many others are as well. Hang in there, bud. It will get better.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 1:45 pm

derFunkenstein wrote: If you've thought about ending it, don't delay.


We don't want him to "end it".
Yeats
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:04 pm

Hang in there. I've had my own experience with this and the "down" moods combined with insomnia symptoms are classic markers. You'll get a lot of advice from well-meaning people, particularly regarding hobbies and exercise, but a lot of it will feel pointless or ridiculous at first. The most important thing is to get the medical help you need so that the problem can be correctly diagnosed, and don't make any major life decisions until things are starting to get back into proper track.

Also, consider some marital counseling along the way. If she won't go, schedule appointments for yourself and start there. Mood disorders are very difficult to understand from the outside, and your wife's apparent disinterest may be actually be confusion or fear on her part because she doesn't understand what you're going through or how to respond to it.
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Re: Feeling Blue

Postposted on Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:20 pm

Yeats wrote:
derFunkenstein wrote: If you've thought about ending it, don't delay.


We don't want him to "end it".

I assume this was quoted out of context because you're trying to be funny, but I don't find it particularly so. The whole post was about "get help get help" so obviously I'm saying don't delay getting help. I don't really appreciate being intentionally taken out of context given the serious nature of this thread.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do.
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