emkubed wrote:I'll just borrow this one from Comedy Central's Jokes.com:
What's silver and red and waddles into walls?
A hungry zombie baby with forks in its eyes.
Gandolf wrote:A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables wrapped around his neck bar tender looks at him and say allright ill let you stay but don't start anything
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
JavaDog wrote:hoser wrote:JavaDog...............your sick.
My sick what? Ohhh...you meant YOU'RE sick. I see, you just suck at English.
JavaDog wrote:gubbar924 wrote:lol, funniest part of this whole thread
sounds like a smart ass thing I'd say
(only to people I know or piss me off though)
<takes a bow>
JavaDog wrote:More of a Kerry fan?
JavaDog wrote:The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered
an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired
straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every
inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the
general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of
points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the
pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of
his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the
tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked
out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where
to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my
penis to the bottom of my testicles." The pension man suggested
that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider,
pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had
received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that
would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to
do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the
pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of
the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said.
"Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In Vietnam."
Subject: FW: The Truth- American vs Japanese TQM- Funny
A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race
on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their
peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a
Afterward, the American team became very discouraged and morally
The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had
to be found. A Management Team made up of senior management was formed
to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and one person
So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an
incredible amount of money. They advised that too many people were
steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team's
management structure was totally reorganized to 4 rowing supervisors, 3
area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called
the RowingTeam Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the rower. Even new paddles and medical benefit incentives were
promised for a winner.
"We must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this
quality program." The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and
cancelled all capital investments for new equipment.
The money saved was distributed to the senior executives as bonuses.
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