Illissius wrote:This one courtesy of bash.org:<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<Rafa> A Pirate walks into a bar.
<Rafa>The bartender says "Hey youve got a steering wheel in your crotch."
<Malkatov> The pirate says "Arrrr its driving me nuts"
z-man wrote:Three guys die and go to heaven. When they meet St. Peter at the pearly gates, he says to them:
"Listen we are super busy today and unless you had a really bad day or a tragic death. I can't let you in. You'll be forced to wait in limbo for a few centuries."
He then turns to the first guy:
"Ok let's hear your story."
To which the first guy responds:
"All right I had found out that my wife had been cheating on me. So I took an early lunch from work. When I arrived at my 25th floor apartment I knew as soon as I walked in that he was still there. So I ran around the apartment looking for him. Checking everywhere. When I couldn't find him I ran out onto the balcony and I noticed two hands hanging onto the concrete railing. Well I ran up to them and started beating on them to get him to let go. When he wouldn't I ran back into my apartment, grabbed a hammer, ran back out and smashed his hands until his fingers broke and he could not hang on. However when I looked over the balcony and down, I notice that he had landed in some bushes and was still alive. I then went back into the apartment grabbed my refrigerator carried out to the balcony and heaved it over. Where it landed on top of him and killed him. Due to carrying the fridge I then suffered a heart attack and I died.
St. Peter looks at him for a moment and says:
"Ok, your good you can go on in."
As the first man leaves St. Peter turns to second guy and asks to hear his story. To which the second guy responds:
"Here is the scene. I am tending to my garden on my 26th floor apartment room balcony when I slip on some wet pavement and tumble over the side. I though for sure I was done for when I luckily managed to grab the balcony on the floor below me. I was hanging there fine until some lunatic bursts out of the apartment and starts beating on my hands. Fortunately I was able to hang on until he went back inside and returned with a hammer. He then started pounding on my hands until my fingers broke and I could not possible hang on. I fell to what I though would be my certain death. When to my surprise and shock I landed safely in some heavy bushes. However when I looked back up I saw a refrigerator come slamming down on top of me and did me in. That is how I died."
St. Peter looks for a few long moments and then says to the man:
"All right you can go on in too."
He then turns to the last one and says:
"Ok and just what is your story?"
To which the third man says:
"Ok, picture this. I'm hiding naked in this refrigerator..."
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 0 guests