Oh Geekmas Tree, oh Geekmas Tree... '07

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Oh Geekmas Tree, oh Geekmas Tree... '07

Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:57 am

Now back for its fourth year!

Image
Click Image For Larger View

'Twas the Night Before Geekmas
by: Darkmage, Dposcorp, Klyith, Thrashdog, and Maxwell Smart

'Twas the night before Geekmas and all through the house,
No PCs were stirring, not even the MSmouse.
The children were offline and stuck in their heads,
Was visions of DOOM3, so they hid under their beds.

When up from the roof there rose such a clatter,
It was louder than a Maxtor with an off-balance platter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh filled with cool PC gear.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew he was navigating with his wireless NIC.
More rapid than Raptors his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

Now Dasher! Now Razor! Now Laser and Fittsen!
On Clocker! On CPUid! On Talon and Blitzen!
To the top of the case! To the top of the screen!
Now flash away! Flash away! Flash away all!

As benchmarks that always leave our mouths dry,
When the graphs on TR reach for the sky.
So up to the case-tower the reindeer they flew,
With the sleigh of ph4t l00t, and Saint Damage too!

And then in a twinkling I saw in the case,
Radeons and Geforces overclocking apace.
As on the monitor video stress tests strobed,
Into the case peered Saint Damage, with a temperature probe.

He was dressed in blue jeans and a Tech Report sweater,
He grasped all the power cables and bundled them together.
He pulled four sticks of RAM from an OEM lot,
And set about plugging them into DIMM slots.

An Athlon CPU he pulled out of his pocket,
And slowly yet gently it was placed into the socket.
Then he grinned as he placed a small dab,
of Arctic Silver on the CPU slab.

The crusty old IDE drives were popped out of place,
And 4 SATA Segates were put in their place,
Now he was real smart, and certainly slick,
So he thought 2 terebytes of storage should do the trick!

A flick of the power gave the system its birth,
Then ran benchmarks all night for all it was worth.
We heard him, when results were forgone;
Say "The review will be ready tomorrow at dawn."

He went to his work, he wrote in a fever,
The article was posted on the Tech Report server.
And we heard him shout, as comment threads did ignite,
"Merry Geekmas to all, and to all a good byte!"
If there is one thing a remote-controlled, silent and unseeable surveillance/killing machine needs, it’s more whimsy. -- Marcus
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:09 am

I celebrate Wintereenmas and Pawnukah but yeah, Geekmas is awesome too.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:57 am

The creative talents of Darkmage and Co. are to be admired
They captured the essence of what it means to be wired
Their sentiments echo what all we gerbils feel
Thanks much to the Tech Report for keeping it real.
Molon labe.
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Re: Oh Geekmas Tree, oh Geekmas Tree... '07

Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:10 am

Darkmage wrote:Image
Click Image For Larger View

'Twas the Night Before Geekmas
by: Darkmage, Dposcorp, Klyith, Thrashdog, and Maxwell Smart

'Twas the night before Geekmas and all through the house,
No PCs were stirring, not even the MSmouse.
The children were offline and stuck in their heads,
Was visions of Crysis, so they hid under their beds.

When up from the roof there rose such a clatter,
It was louder than a Maxtor with an off-balance platter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh filled with cool PC gear.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew he was navigating with his wireless NIC.
More rapid than Greenpowers his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

Now Dasher! Now Razor! Now Laser and Fittsen!
On Clocker! On CPUid! On Talon and Blitzen!
To the top of the case! To the top of the screen!
Now flash away! Flash away! Flash away all!

As benchmarks that always leave our mouths dry,
When the graphs on TR reach for the sky.
So up to the case-tower the reindeer they flew,
With the sleigh of ph4t l00t, and Saint Damage too!

And then in a twinkling I saw in the case,
3870XTs and 8800GTs overclocking apace.
As on the monitor video stress tests strobed,
Into the case peered Saint Damage, with a temperature probe.

He was dressed in blue jeans and a Tech Report sweater,
He grasped all the power cables and bundled them together.
He pulled four sticks of RAM from an OEM lot,
And set about plugging them into DIMM slots.

An Core 2 Quad X9650 CPU he pulled out of his pocket,
And slowly yet gently it was placed into the socket.
Then he grinned as he placed a small dab,
of Arctic Silver on the CPU slab.

The crusty old IDE drives were popped out of place,
And 4 SATA Hitachis were put in their place,
Now he was real smart, and certainly slick,
So he thought 4 terebytes of storage should do the trick!

A flick of the power gave the system its birth,
Then ran benchmarks all night for all it was worth.
We heard him, when results were forgone;
Say "The review will be ready tomorrow at dawn."

He went to his work, he wrote in a fever,
The article was posted on the Tech Report server.
And we heard him shout, as comment threads did ignite,
"Merry Geekmas to all, and to all a good byte!"


Fixed for 2007. ;)
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:11 am

Totally awesome.
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do.
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Re: Oh Geekmas Tree, oh Geekmas Tree... '07

Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:34 am

lordtottuu wrote:I celebrate Wintereenmas and Pawnukah but yeah, Geekmas is awesome too.
Need to add Festivus in there too.

Krogoth wrote:Fixed for 2007. ;)
Maxtor should be changed to Seagate too?
Image
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Re: Oh Geekmas Tree, oh Geekmas Tree... '07

Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:07 pm

Flying Fox wrote:
lordtottuu wrote:I celebrate Wintereenmas and Pawnukah but yeah, Geekmas is awesome too.
Need to add Festivus in there too.

Krogoth wrote:Fixed for 2007. ;)
Maxtor should be changed to Seagate too?


Well, technically Maxtor is a brand of Seagate. ;)
Ivy Bridge i5-3570K@4.0Ghz, Gigabyte Z77X-UD3H, 2x4GiB of PC-12800, EVGA 660Ti, Corsair CX-600 and Fractal Refined R4 (W). Kentsfield Q6600@3Ghz, HD 4850 2x2GiB PC2-6400, Gigabyte EP45-DS4P, OCZ Modstream 700W, and PC-7B.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:38 pm

I think "he wrote in a fever" should be rewritten as "he wrote with fervor". It rhymes better with server.

just my .02.

And the whole thing made me lol. Well written on the whole.
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Guy 2: Alright, but don't call me Shirley.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:48 pm

Happy Hollandaise, guys & gals. You're what keep me coming back here every day. Well, that and the sweet graphics card reviews with the pretty graphs. :D
If there is one thing a remote-controlled, silent and unseeable surveillance/killing machine needs, it’s more whimsy. -- Marcus
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 1:50 pm

Merry Chrismachanakanzika everyone!
Damn the torpedoes , full speed ahead.

AMD X2 4200+, Asus A8N-E, 3GBs of RAM, 7900GS
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 2:33 pm

And a Happy Nerd Year!
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 3:57 pm

It's a festivus miracle!
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:08 pm

BobbinThreadbare wrote:It's a festivus miracle!

Jerry Seinfeld can DIAF. :lol:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate, I do.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 4:50 pm

derFunkenstein wrote:
BobbinThreadbare wrote:It's a festivus miracle!

Jerry Seinfeld can DIAF. :lol:
Amen to that.
Molon labe.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:11 pm

Somehow I'd think that a Prescott P4 would make a better star... given that it has a similar thermal output. :lol:
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:15 pm

I had completely forgotten about this, and was confused to see my name on the front page Forum Tidings post. :D Ah, good memories...
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:19 pm

Great job, that was awesome.

To everyone, I wish you a Merhappy Chanuchristmakwanzafestiramata-chiu, new year!
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:33 pm

krazyredboy wrote:Great job, that was awesome.

To everyone, I wish you a Merhappy Chanuchristmakwanzafestiramata-chiu, new year!


Merry Christmas to you too.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:40 pm

Merry everybody!

/homer
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:50 pm

Here's a geekmas related funny:

Microsoft kills Santa Claus
http://www.hardwaregeeks.com/board/showthread.php?t=35259

:D
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:15 pm

titan wrote:I think "he wrote in a fever" should be rewritten as "he wrote with fervor". It rhymes better with server.

just my .02.

And the whole thing made me lol. Well written on the whole.


:D My thoughts exactly!
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 7:53 pm

Merry Xmas all. Hide well.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:04 pm

Captain Ned wrote:Merry Xmas all. Hide well.

I just saw that episode last week I think it was.
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 9:57 pm

derFunkenstein wrote:
BobbinThreadbare wrote:It's a festivus miracle!

Jerry Seinfeld can DIAF. :lol:


I have to ask. DIAF?
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Postposted on Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:03 pm

apkellogg wrote:
derFunkenstein wrote:
BobbinThreadbare wrote:It's a festivus miracle!

Jerry Seinfeld can DIAF. :lol:

I have to ask. DIAF?
DIAF
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Postposted on Mon Dec 24, 2007 7:21 pm

Merry Christmas!

Great thread btw :D
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