They said it couldn't be done. And by "they" I mean the spongmonkeys in my brain who, when not singing about the moon and Quiznos, chattered on about my failure to build a 100% working Hackintosh. Well I've got some news for those tiny, toothy, walleyed bugaboos:
That's right, people. While half of you were shooting YouTube videos of yourselves putting your thumbs over the lower left corner of your new iPhones and dropping calls AT&T was going to drop anyway, I decided to do one final Google search to solve my UUID error (officially reported as "_CFGetHostUUIDString: unable to determine UUID for host. Error: 35") that was causing Time Machine to flip me 800GB's worth of the bird.
I tried a different search string. A string I can no longer remember. A string that nonetheless brought for a link that brought forth salvation that brought forth the putting back of my credit card. And lo, it was glorious. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
In my previous searches for fixes to the UUID error, I found numerous posts on InsanelyMac.com singing the praises of the PlatformUUID.kext—a kernel extension that supposedly passed along a valid UUID to the system, thereby raining showers of gold-spewing baby seals down upon the masses. Or at least, your Ethernet address. Problem was, no one ever said anything more than "I used PlatformUUID.kext and it worked for me! W00t!" Well, that's just swell, ScarJoStalker71, but dropping that kext into my Extras folder (a folder of, duh, extra kernel extensions created by Hackintosh installers) did a whole lotto jack squatto.
Until I found The Post.
The Post was on an archived EFixUsers.com forum page from October 2009. Its author, a user named Skipper, detailed how to edit the PlatformUUID.kext file and repackage it up as part of the Extra folder's Extensions.mkext file (an .mkext file is basically a package of kext files, although I'm sure there's more technical stuff than that going on). You can find his post here; it's the last one on the page.
In retrospect, I should've guessed that I needed to somehow edit the PlatformUUID file. Somehow, I had it in my head that it magically assigned a UUID to my Ethernet port and passed that along to the system. Dumb. But frustration doesn't always yield clarity of thought. I'll refrain from political jokes at this point.
So, here's to you, Skipper. A man confident in both his technical skills and manhood at large. I salute you and your awkward obsession with "Gilligan's Island" and/or Barbie's best friend that never has any fun because she's a brunette. Well done, sir.
In other Hackintosh news, I must say thanks to Western Digital for having such a sweet, easy-to-use warranty service. From the outset of my Hackintosh build, one of the four WD drives I had purchased (one of the three 1.5TB Caviar Green drives) would spontaneously dismount whenever I'd perform large file transfers; e.g. when using it as a Time Machine drive or cloning my A/V drive. WD's online system shot me out a replacement drive via two-day air, and all I had to do was send back the whack drive. Okay, it would've been a bit nicer if they'd included a pre-paid return shipping label, but I'll survive. The new drive is working as it should.
So, that's it from Hackintosh land for, I hope, a while. I can supposedly upgrade to 10.6.4 without issue, but I don't really see the need to do that, so I'm going to hold off. Things are working. I'd like to enjoy that for a bit, if you don't mind.