Go Go Jobzilla

First, to those of you who wondered if I exhausted six months of pent-up wordplay in the last MacHole, I'm afraid you'll be rather disappointed in my answer. The thing is, I save all of my tortuous wordplay for the MacHole. I don't use it while speaking with my children (they think Daddy is odd enough as it is), creating ads (my day job) or in my other extracurricular writings. At least not nearly as much. So, yes, I twist the verbiage into grammatical versions of Bret "The Hitman" Hart's figure-four leg lock on purpose. Just to entertain you. Or to anger you. Or perhaps to confuse you into sending me money via the Nigerian office of Western Union. If you don't like it, that's fine. I don't read the comments section anymore as it is.

On with the news.

Steve Jobs Turns Japanese, But Not in the Way That Song "Turning Japanese" Meant. The Verge reports that a Japanese Manga version of Walter Isaacson's Steve Jobs biography has been unleashed upon the world. The first part of the adaptation, by Mari Yamazaki, appears in the May edition of something called Kiss. The artwork isn't quite as full-on Manga as most Manga I've seen (which is not so much), but I was still sad to discover that at no time do Jobs, Ive, Schiller, Cue and Forstall form Voltron. And yes, Forstall would be Pidge.

Google+ for iOS Update Fails to Break Apple's App Servers. Google updated its Google+ for iOS app recently and added or updated a bunch of features that most folks don't care about because Facebook is already too much of a timesuck. Truth be told, I wish something would replace both FB and G+ on the social sharing front. Like a lovely dinner at Denny's.

T-Mobile Drops Phone Subsidies in Effort to Finance Island Cache of the World's Supply of Fuchsia. At least I think they're ending subsidies. Hard to see through the hot pink haze that is their website to read the fine print. It does appear that you now pay full freight for your phone, but have the option of paying it off over the length of a contract. Which is really what you do now on other carriers, but you have no idea what part of your monthly fee is going towards the phone. And they like it that way. T-Mobile is also promising an unlimited plan that suddenly features bandwidth limitations when you hit 500MB of data. Because mobile phone companies come from the Vizzini School of Wordification.

Chevy Promotes "Eyes Free" Version of Siri for People Who Can't Locate Their Home Button by Touch. Chevy (or Chevrolet, if you prefer being fancy) is now advertising Siri integration in its 2013 Sonic. The car, which resembles neither a hedgehog nor a limeade, has a presumably magic button on its steering wheel that activates Siri. This allows you to ask the same, simple question over and over as Siri fails to recognize your vocalizations. ("Call my wife." "I cannot scald your lice. Would you like me to search for lice medications? Also, don't touch me.") As this spot shows, adding Siri connectivity to the Sonic required a clean room and IKEA lamps. Because, hey, technology.

My Hackintosh is Actually Working. Seriously. So Weird. It's been a while since I last inflicted the readership with my Hackintosh woes. Probably because, for a good long while, everything was actually working. Sadly, a few months ago, I started a new job (that's not the sad part), acquired a 15-inch MacBook Pro Retina, and (here's the sad part) used Migration Assistant to copy files from my Hack over to the MBP. Turns out, that wasn't such a good idea. No, the MBP was fine. It shrugged off the odd kexts and plist files with nary a burp. The Hack, however, took a hit to its boot files and refused to start without first booting from a Unibeast USB stick. Why Migration Assistant has to write files to the host computer is beyond me. Or anyone else on the web who had the same issue, apparently. Reinstalling Chameleon or Chimera failed to help. Suck.

Then came the Messages problem. Apple switched how Messages authenticates the computer it's on, requiring a specific file with a full system id number. The awesome guys at tonymacx86.com released a new version of Chimera to create the appropriate file and assorted whatnot. Unfortunately, thanks to my booting issue, I couldn't use it. And so Messages was dead on my Hack. Not a huge deal considering I have an iPhone, iPad and no longer work at home, but still.

Finally, my audio died. Just up and died one day last week. No idea why. Took forever to hunt down the errant kext that was clogging up the system. But, wait for it, fixing the audio caused a chain reaction that fixed everything else. Yep. In sussing out the audio glitch, I trashed all FakeSMC kexts. While doing so was not the answer to the audio problem, it was the answer to what was causing MultiBeast to fail. Huzzah. With MultiBeast working, the Chimera update took and fixed my boot problem. And with the boot problem resolved, the Messages systemID plist file was able to self-generate, fixing Messages login issues.

Sweet Moses.

So the Hack is back to trundling along as it should, and I can return to not editing my kids' videos from 2012.

Just a Reminder: Jony Ive is Dead Sexy. From time to time I like to throw in something for groupies of the David Beckham of Industrial Design.

You may call me



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