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My dad passed away early Friday morning (my mom's birthday, as sick irony would have it). Wake was tonight, funeral tomorrow. He wasn't a young man (76) and he lived life to its fullest (which when he was in his prime included a regular cigarette habit). If you gotta go from cancer, I think he did it the best you can - it was pretty quick and relatively painless, AND most importantly, he has his faculties the whole time, so he was able to make decisions about when it was "enough." And I know it could be worse - one of my daughter's friends is 15 and on the lung AND heart transplant list. But I gotta say, the wake tonight was a real nice affair - I had no idea how many goddamn friends the old man had!! And how many friends I have. Tomorrow, now, tomorrow might suck a lot. Hug your parents while you can, and don't sweat the small stuff because tomorrow they might be gone.

My condolences to your recent loss.

It is never easy to lose your parents. My mother pass away from breast cancer that eventually metastasize to her bones. It wasn't a pretty end. That was almost 13 years ago.

Condolences to you and yours idchafee. My parents are getting up there in age too. (dad is 66 mom is 65) And I see the health problems mount. I try to mentally and physically prepare for the inevitable but I don't think one can ever really prepare for it.

I'm sorry for your loss Ian.

My condolences. Give everyone else a hug from me.

My dad is 86 now. Slowing down a lot, unsurprisingly; still there mentally, though certainly not as sharp as he used to be. He was a chain smoker for many years, but stopped in his late 40s or early 50s, and has apparently managed to evade lung cancer. He's outlived all of his friends from when he was younger (by decades in most cases), which must be rough for him.

Sorry to hear.
I lost my dad suddenly in 2001 just after thanksgiving.

He had a embolism and slipped into a coma.
It wasn't easy to loose him at the age of 26.

Very sorry for your loss. I know the feeling my father went less that a week after he found out he had lung cancer from a blood clot a couple weeks before Christmas. I lost my brother 5 years before that a week b4 Christmas. So we try to make the best of Christmas as best we can even though it brings up the memories of loss it also reminds us How much we miss them also.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I lost both my parents and my sister due to different cancers, and it is a very hard time.
There's nothing much you can do now, except keep on with your live and remember those who have lost their fight against that damned illness.
In time you'll think about them and not necessarily about their illness, but it will always hurt to know how you lost them.
Best wishes to you and your family.

My condolences, Ian. Sorry to hear about that.

I'm sorry for your loss, Ian, and I'll listen to your message as my parents have crossed 70 now.

Condolences, idchafee.

Sorry for your loss Ian.
I lost mine in 2001 as well, at age 33.............never saw me get married or saw my sons, so at least you got to have good times with it.
I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

This is just hard to read.

My dad lost his sister in her early 50's of brain cancer - and unfortunately, she became psychotic during it, and rejected treatments as a result. No way we could've predicted it - she was in good health up until that point. A few months and my dad will hit the same age - in good shape (with some back problems - it's now my job to crawl under the house to run sprinkler wires for him), and hopefully it'll stay that way.

For now, I'm mostly worried about my grandparents - Grandpa (dad's side) is in the early stages of dementia. And who knows how many life stories he has yet to tell us? On mom's side, we lost her dad several years back of pancreatic cancer (hard to watch him getting weak, but he had his mind to the very end). We could've lost her mom (in her 70's) to breast cancer as well, at around the same time. But fortunately, she caught the lumps early enough, got it treated, and she's now in her late 80's and still doing well (albeit driving my mom a bit crazy, which then passes onto me). Getting up there in age though.

My condolences, for your loss. Its very hard to loose a parent. I was 36 when I buried my father at the age of 67 back in 94; he died of very fast onset alzeheimers (4 years). I really regret that our scientific progress was too slow to do him any good.

My mother at 85, just entered Hospice at home with me, earlier this week on Monday with congestive heart failure; and they say she might live a few months. Its killer but I am treasuring every moment that remains.

my most sincere condolences. hugs to you and your mom.

stay strong my internet friend,

Well sincerest condolences and sympathy for you and your family.
Not thread hijacking.
By unfortunate coincidence the day you posted this my aunty (70) suddenly died, so I can only hope the funeral went well and you got to hear and share all the stories told by friends and family about your father's life. It's a hell of a shock when it happens, but here's hoping that you've got a much better picture of your father and his life than you did before. All the best.

Always think of this when people pass.

http://i.imgur.com/Osd9n7I.png

My condolences.

damn man. Sorry for your loss. Hope the funeral goes as well as it can

idchafee wrote:

If you gotta go from cancer, I think he did it the best you can - it was pretty quick and relatively painless, AND most importantly, he has his faculties the whole time, so he was able to make decisions about when it was "enough."

My condolences on your loss. I am glad that he was able to make those kinds of decisions up to the end. My grandmother suffered from severe dementia for over five years, and over that time her passing was far from kind or peaceful to her nor anyone else trying to care for her. After that I am able to appreciate what a real gift it is when a person is able to leave this world in dignity with their mental faculties intact. Again I am sorry for your loss.

My condolences as well.

Just came back a few weeks ago from funeral services and burying a grandfather on my wife's side. ...so I kinda get it.

You have my condolences.

And yes, wakes and ceremonies and just...whatever traditions you have are a wonderful way to help the mourning process get started. I'm glad you found that he had many friends, and that you found you have many friends ready to support you.

"... Tomorrow, now, tomorrow might suck a lot. Hug your parents while you can, and don't sweat the small stuff because tomorrow they might be gone...."

How true, how true, are your words.
Had I only done that with my Mom....for one day, without warning, she was gone.

I'll pray for the eternal rest of your dear Dad's soul.

I hope the service for your dad went better than expected.

My little brother (two years younger and my only sibling) died a senseless death in 1997 at forty-five. His service was nice.

In 2002 I returned to Indiana to help my father with his Alzheimer's dementia. After a little more than four years in nursing homes he forgot how to swallow and died in early 2009 at ninety-one. His service was nice, although being the only responsible party was a bit much.

This past summer my mother died in her apartment of heart failure just twenty days short of ninety. She had preplanned and prepaid everything. The service was supposed to be simple graveside rights. It was officiated by a minister best described as a militant christian. He droned on and on as the majority of her friends and family melted in the blazing sun.

Earlier this winter my mothers only remaining brother died after chemotherapy failed to do anything for his liver cancer. At the funeral home the same militant christian minister droned on and on punctuated by Johnny Cash songs, although there was a nice slide show of photos of my uncle on two fairly large monitors. At the grave site the MCM droned on and on as the majority of the friends and family froze in the bitter winter wind.

We miss them everyday, but everyday it hurts a little less to miss them.

My condolences.

I lost my mother to a brain aneurysm before I was 30, she was a healthy non-smoker and light drinker. Extremely unexpected. Life is fragile, enjoy it while you can.

My best wishes to you and your family, Ian.

My condolences.

My sincerest condolences.

My condolences.

Sorry for your loss Ian.

I am sorry for your loss Iam, you have my condolences and if you need anything do not hesitate to ask.