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Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:29 am
by superjawes
clone wrote:I went to see Skyfall this weekend and a simple combo, popcorn, pop and M&M's costs more than $15.00, their was a time when I used to look at ppl weirdly for sneaking in stuff in their jacket now I feel like the theater is making ppl do it.
I don't bother with the concessions at all anymore.... can't bring myself to do it.
Ticket prices are harsh enough as-is. Skyfall last Saturday was $20 for two. The big screen is nice, but I can get DVD/Blu-Ray/Digital combos for that, and I only have to wait a few months
As to the plot of VII, I imagine the Emperor will have had some sort of secret apprentice or Sith ally, or maybe one of Luke's students will attach to the dark side. Star Wars isn't Star Wars without a lightsaber battle, so it's almost given that there will be some bad dude to start a duel.
Other than that, I think we have pieces left by video games (Jedi Academy/Outcast type stuff) that provide some starting points. Obviously there would be an Imperial remnant, and it would be easy, given the fact that troopers are clones, to have a war between those who side with the new Republic versus Imperial Remnants...that would be cool on its own.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 9:43 am
by clone
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Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 10:49 am
by trackerben
Vrock wrote:No, he's not. Proton torpedoes were what Luke used to destroy the first Death Star. He fired them into a small thermal exhaust port that was only two meters wide, and it was just like bulls-eying womp rats in his T-16 back home.
I stand corrected.
"Locate and fix the position of the Gungan senator. Launch two proton torpedoes to the target coordinates, surface burst, maximum yield.
"But your Excellency... why?"
"One does not like to take chances, Captain!"
"Yessir!"
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:06 pm
by Darkmage
superjawes wrote:Other than that, I think we have pieces left by video games (Jedi Academy/Outcast type stuff) that provide some starting points. Obviously there would be an Imperial remnant, and it would be easy, given the fact that troopers are clones, to have a war between those who side with the new Republic versus Imperial Remnants...that would be cool on its own.
That does seem like the most obvious road to travel. Skywalker rebuilding the Jedi Knights would/should be his top priority. Cleaning up the mess the Empire left, with a near infinite range of possible secret projects on backwater worlds can occupy the non-vigilante characters...
With a little luck, Disney will plan for episodes 7, 8 & 9 and do it as a proper trilogy. One written before the first day of shooting.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:12 pm
by morphine
Episodes VII-IX are already written, in the form of books. I can only wish that they do Timothy Zahn's.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:13 pm
by Hawkwing74
morphine wrote:Episodes VII-IX are already written, in the form of books. I can only wish that they do Timothy Zahn's.
I don't think Zahn's are good enough, IMO.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:28 pm
by Darkmage
Hawkwing74 wrote:morphine wrote:Episodes VII-IX are already written, in the form of books. I can only wish that they do Timothy Zahn's.
I don't think Zahn's are good enough, IMO.
I would concur and add that while i enjoyed Zahn's books, I don't think there is enough action in the first book to keep people interested.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:29 pm
by superjawes
The Wikipedia editors seem to think that VII-IX are separate from said books, taking place 20-30 years after VI. Zahn's books come in between the two trilogies.
And I do like the idea of having completely new characters leading the VII-IX story. Both IV-VI and I-III shared some characters (except Vader and Palpatine, and Vader switched sides), but overall, I would say that I-III ends up being led mostly by Obi-Wan, and Luke leads IV-VI (mostly). Since each trilogy deals with very different galactic political environments and states of Jedi/Sith, it makes the most sense to bring in new characters to handle the new issues.
I would definitely like to see Han, Luke, and Leia at some point (again, with different roles), but they don't need to lead the action.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 12:34 pm
by superjawes
Also, VII-IX needs a fair share of battles so that we can get a Battlefront 3 or similar game (plz plz plz plz plz plz plz).
A new crop of Star Wars games would definitely be fun. Few people can argue with that.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:33 pm
by clone
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Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 2:45 pm
by superjawes
Luke was teenish in IV...maybe mid 20s at the oldest. Being in his 60s would definitely work if his character shifted to that of a guide, much like Obi-Wan or Yoda. Significant, yes, but a very different Luke Skywalker.
And I really want Hamill to be involved. Even if he didn't reprise the role of Luke, he could do one or more badass vocal roles. Harrison Ford doesn't really need to be there...I mean it would be nice to see Han Solo matured into something like a military general or business owner, but Solo was a fun character who contributed more to the battles rather than the spiritual and moral developments. I'm going to get hate for this, but Han Solo can be replaced.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:09 pm
by clone
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Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:54 pm
by lilbuddhaman
clone wrote:
She could be a female darkside emperor wearing that same outfit + look, imo.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 4:52 pm
by Airmantharp
morphine wrote:Episodes VII-IX are already written, in the form of books. I can only wish that they do Timothy Zahn's.
This is pretty much what I expect, whether the books are good enough as direct translations or not, they're an excellent start.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 1:26 pm
by tanker27
morphine wrote:Episodes VII-IX are already written, in the form of books. I can only wish that they do Timothy Zahn's.
Are you crazy? Zahn's books are poorly written when compared to the other offerings from other Authors out there.
I wish they would take any new SW offering in a different direction, because there's a whole universe out there. Something like the Bounty hunters or Old republic or even new republic.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 3:52 pm
by morphine
tanker27 wrote:Are you crazy? Zahn's books are poorly written when compared to the other offerings from other Authors out there.
Which ones are you talking about? He has a trilogy that I consider a masterpiece (
Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command - about Admiral Thrawn), and a two-book series that is okay but not great,
Specter Of The Past and
Vision of The Future, dealing with fallout from the previous series.
If you don't like the trilogy then to each his own, I guess. I'd just like to state that basing new movies on any author is fine with me, as long as it's not Michael P. Kube McDowell, his trilogy of books (
Shield of Lies etc) was Gord-awful.
tanker27 wrote:I wish they would take any new SW offering in a different direction, because there's a whole universe out there. Something like the Bounty hunters or Old republic or even new republic.
I nominate the X-Wing series of books for this angle. It's got a bit of a deus ex machina problem, but other than that it's really good stuff.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:48 pm
by clone
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Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:46 pm
by CampinCarl
I could have sworn I'd made a post in this thread already, but since I apparently did not, here's what I'll say:
If they set Episode 7 20 years after Episode 6, that puts it right during the time of the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. I believe that anything they do would either need to be very, very localized...or entirely destroy existing canon. The first option would make a terrible movie, and the second option would piss off a lot of nerds like myself. I do believe that the Vong invasion would provide a fantastic story line for a trilogy, say using Vector Prime and the Dark Tide pair of books for 7, Star by Star/Traitor/Rebel Dream sequence for the middle, and then some combination of books there at the end before the whole Dark Nest shenanigans (which, imo, were terrible books).
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:02 am
by Darkmage
My initial draft is included below. I encourage additions, edits and suggestion. Get in now before I release this upon social networking!
[Now with updates based upon feedback!]
==============
So now that Disney has bought out LucasFilm and obtained the rights to Star Wars, they have announced that they're going to make Episode 7. Naturally, there is some speculation as to who should direct the next Star Wars movie now that Lucas has relinquished control. So what would different directors do with the Star Wars franchise?
Michael Bay – Episode 7 will follow a nervous 19 year-old social outcast as he dodges explosions and teams up with the explosive Jedi Knights by being nearby when their ship crash lands (and then explodes). He is smitten with one of the young female Jedi, who will have an amazing midriff and little clothing. After a long vehicle chase sequence that begins with an exploding building and ends with the pursuers exploding, the Jedi engage in a explosive battle where the protagonist has to run through past exploding buildings and exploding Imperial AT-AT Walkers who suddenly have testicles. And explosions.
Tim Burton – Episode 7 is ultimately very beautiful but with not not much of a point. Johnny Depp plays a resurrected Darth Vader with kinked hair who wanders through the film looking surprised at things. Helena Bonham Carter co-stars. Score by Danny Elfman.
Josh Whedon – Episode 7 tells the story of a rag-tag group of misfits who initially don’t like each other, but must pull together to crack jokes and defeat the Sith Mastermind (played by Alan Tudyk). Chewbacca, a fan favorite, will die suddenly. Every Jedi is female and unstoppable.
Spike Lee – Two young lovers – she’s a Jedi, he’s a smuggler – have to overcome the prejudices of their respective families and the oppression of the Jedi Order to keep their love alive. Set against the backdrop of the Deth Stick addiction epidemic.
Kevin Smith – Two jedi working in the lower levels of Coruscant work in a walk-in dispute resolution shop where they talk and analyze past events in the Star Wars universe. One is constantly complaining that he wasn't supposed to be on this planet while the other makes a surprisingly good case for the Empire and Sith Order. C3PO and R2D2 spend the entire movie standing just outside the shop, where 3PO is much more vulgar and hits on female droids. R2 speaks English for about sixty seconds to give a good piece of insight in the third act. This is the first Star Wars movie to earn an R rating for language and drug references.
Quentin Tarantino – In a film heavily influenced by Westerns and interspersed with flashbacks and set to 70s pop music, Uma Thurman stars and is barefoot for most of the movie. Although it is billed as an action movie, there really is only about 10 minutes of actual combat and climaxes with a tense standoff between four characters. Tarantino has a bit part where he gives a five minute monologue and dies by a lightsaber to the groin.
Clint Eastwood – Jordan Stargard is just an old, retired Jedi Knight who spends his days tending his garden, polishing his land speeder and muttering about those droids who are making his neighborhood go down the toilet. When the droids go too far, Jordan is forced to pick up his lightsaber once again and teach those whippersnappers how things were done in a more civilized age. While squinting. The supporting character gets the main character's landspeeder.
Peter Jackson – Episode 7 is set entirely in the forests of Yavin 4 and through a plot contrivance, the characters (a group of humans, Ewoks, droids and a gruff Wookie) will have to walk across great distances to the ancient temple. Along the way, they will run from a 30’ rancor rendered exquisitely by WETA Workshops.
John Woo - Episode 7 consists of a series of loosely connected action scenes and revolves around the Jedi trying to save a newly introduced race of alien who look suspiciously like skittish white doves. The movie is 40% longer than any other Star Wars film due to the abundance of slow-motion shots of Jedi swinging dual lightsabers whilst diving through the air.
Oliver Stone - A young recruit in the Rebellion faces a moral crisis when he realizes that the victory by the Rebellion over the Empire was accomplished by a conspiracy at the highest levels of the Jedi Order. The bromance of Han Solo and Chewbacca will be portrayed as having homosexual overtones.
J.J. Abrams - An ensemble cast, with a bit part by Greg Grunberg, will be stranded on a backwards planet. They will spend a good deal of the movie attempting to open a mysterious Jedi datacron that will unlock the keys to their salvation. This movie introduces time travel to the Star Wars universe and reveals several coincidental (or are they?) relationships between the characters. Every lightsaber slash will set off dozens of lens flares.
Christopher Nolan - Episode 7 will introduce massive, detailed alien worlds so bleak that even light saber glows are desaturated. In it, we will follow the story of a troubled Jedi and his idealistic padawan as they investigate reports of corruption and Sith. By the end of the movie, the padawan will become disillusioned at the realities of Jedi operations and the camera will do three full laps around him as he comes to the realization that his master dabbles in the Dark Side. He may be the director Star Wars deserves, but not the one it needs right now.
Wachowski Brothers - A raucous group of action heroes, wielding groundbreaking special effects, will make Episode VII the best thing ever filmed. Episodes VIII and IX will get lost in philosophical twists nobody wanted to deal with in a theater, and the fans will slink away in disgust, marveling at how expertly they done got trolled.
Uwe Boll – The movie opens and tanks immediately as nobody attends. Months later, fans of the Star Wars universe stream it on Netflix and feel dirty about it afterwards.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:20 am
by grantmeaname
Dead on, well done.
It's Uwe Boll, though, if you're looking for copyediting.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:20 am
by superjawes
Kevin Smith – Two jedi talk and analyze past events in the Star Wars universe. One is constantly complaining that he wasn't supposed to be on this planet while the other makes a surprisingly good case for the Empire and Sith Order. C3PO and R2D2 spend the entire movie just outside the main set. 3PO has a malfunction that makes him talk all the time (not really new), but is much more vulgar and hits on female droids. R2 learns to speak English for about sixty seconds to give a good piece of insight in the third act. All shots are stationary.
Quentin Tarantino – The film is billed as an incredible action movie, but only has about 10-15 minutes of actual action. The rest is dialogue, spent switching around several languages. The Japanese and Western themes are played to the extreme--together--and the score is replaced by music from the 70s. Christoph Waltz plays a villian and wins an Oscar.
That is fun...although I would actually like Darkmage's Joss Whedon version.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:04 pm
by TurtlePerson2
I don't think I can do as well as either of the last two, but I'll give it a try.
M. Night Shyamalan - The film is advertised as Star Wars Episode VII, but at the end of the film you realize that Star Wars I-III was just a bad dream and that this film is the true events preceding A New Hope. Unfortunately, Shyamalan's recent streak of stinkers continues as this movie ends up being even worse than the original Episode I.
Oliver Stone - A young recruit in the Rebellion faces a moral crisis when he realizes that a victory by the Rebellion will re-establish the Republic instead of the communist state he has dreamed of.
John Woo - The movie consists of a series of loosely connected action scenes with nonsensical dialogue. The ending consists of a lightsaber fight on top of a spaceship, with doves inexplicably flying around behind the Jedi.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:22 pm
by ludi
Christopher Nolan - A cast including at least modest roles for Ken Watanabe and Cilian Murphy will engage amidst an ad-hoc mixture of Asian spiritual mountain retreats and gritty noir urban landscapes, in a world so bleak that even light saber glows are desaturated. At least one Jedi and two or three characters from the dark side will experience an uncontrolled slide down a snowy mountain slope or rain-soaked rooftop and be saved at the last second, preferably by going over the edge and being snagged by an improvised rope. Snappy one-liners will be delivered, but out of respect for the drama, the response will be muted. He may be the director Star Wars deserves, but not the one it needs right now.
Wachowski Brothers - A raucous group of action heroes, wielding groundbreaking special effects, will make Episode VII the best thing ever filmed. Episodes VIII and IX will get lost in philosophical twists nobody wanted to deal with in a theater, and the fans will slink away in disgust, marveling at how expertly they done got trolled.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:42 pm
by Captain Ned
J.J. Abrams - Every lightsaber slash will set off dozens of lens flares. The timeline will be messed with when Yoda from the Mirror Universe appears and blows up Coruscant.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:21 pm
by Hawkwing74
Nice work everyone!
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:34 pm
by Lonewolf08
Darkmage wrote:Michael Bay – Episode 7 will follow a nervous 19 year-old social outcast Bill Sobievski as he falls in with the Jedi Knights by being nearby when their ship crash lands (and then explodes). He is smitten with one of the young female Jedi, who will have an amazing set of abs and little clothing. After a long vehicle chase sequence that ends with the pursuers exploding, the Jedi engage in a massive battle where the protagonist has to run through tons of exploding buildings, set to rock music. And explosions.
Not enough explosions. Also you forgot to include that any droids featured in the movie inexplicably have human bodily functions and genitalia because Michael Bay does not understand what a
robot droid is. (Stolen shamelessly from
here)
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 3:51 pm
by kvndoom
Lonewolf08 wrote:Darkmage wrote:Michael Bay – Episode 7 will follow a nervous 19 year-old social outcast Bill Sobievski as he falls in with the Jedi Knights by being nearby when their ship crash lands (and then explodes). He is smitten with one of the young female Jedi, who will have an amazing set of abs and little clothing. After a long vehicle chase sequence that ends with the pursuers exploding, the Jedi engage in a massive battle where the protagonist has to run through tons of exploding buildings, set to rock music. And explosions.
Not enough explosions. Also you forgot to include that any droids featured in the movie inexplicably have human bodily functions and genitalia because Michael Bay does not understand what a
robot droid is. (Stolen shamelessly from
here)
Michael Bay – Episode 7 will follow explosions
a nervous 19 year-old social outcast Bill Sobievski as he falls in with explosions
the Jedi Knights by being nearby when their explosion
ship crash lands (and then explodes). He is smitten with one of the explosions
young female Jedi, who will have an amazing set of explosions
abs and little clothing. After a long vehicle explosion
chase sequence that ends with the pursuers exploding, the Jedi engage in a massive explosion
battle where the protagonist has to explode
run through tons of exploding buildings, set to rock music. And explosions.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:54 pm
by morphine
Here are my additions/corrections:
Tim Burton
a) Movie is ultimately very beautiful not not much of a point
b) Lots of beautiful flora and fauna, including singing Ewoks. Main protagonist must prove him/herself worthy of the Golden Lightsaber.
Clint Eastwood - Main character has two expressions: one with the lightsaber, one without. Supporting character gets the main character's landspeeder.
John Woo - Double-edged lightsaber for the main characters. Always. (Amusingly enough, this is canon).
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 5:56 pm
by Vrock
morphine wrote:Here are my additions/corrections:
Tim Burton
a) Movie is ultimately very beautiful not not much of a point
b) Lots of beautiful flora and fauna, including singing Ewoks. Main protagonist must prove him/herself worthy of the Golden Lightsaber.
c) Also, Johnny Depp. Because,that's why.
Added c) above.
Re: Star Wars Episode 7??
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:40 pm
by Darkmage
Latest edits are in. Thanks for the help guys.