Dear parallel-universe TR,
This is Chuckula except not the one from this universe. You see, in my universe we have malls that are really annoying but that I'm forced to visit while my wife gets her hair done.
Apparently your parallel dimension has them too, but there's a horrifying difference. You see, in my universe there are "Apple stores" that have oversized spaces fronted by glass walls with a small number of products arranged on benches. Hipster types mill about trying to get you to buy whatever Apple needs sold without any discounts.
I could handle the Apple stores but I knew that reality had been shattered when I saw the Apple store... THAT WASN'T AN APPLE STORE!
I was shocked. All the pretentiousness of an Apple store.... but by Microsoft! My mind raced as I struggled to find an explanation. After applying Occam's Razor (do you have that in your universe?) I quickly realized that the most rational explanation is that I've been sucked into an alternate universe!
I need to get home. I'm afraid that if I meet my alternate self that he won't even be evil. I need your help!