Okay, I'll bite. Why?
I don't mean to drop the hammer on you specifically, and heck, I'm even guilty of this behavior from time to time.
BUT, I'm a bit annoyed about asking for advice on a specific topic, then getting nothing but push-back from people who think I should be doing or considering something completely different. Granted, this type of behavior is generally well-intentioned, because maybe I overlooked a good idea. I might even enjoy the discussion of alternative solutions if accompanied by on-point suggestions. Example: "Here are two decent laptop choices, but have you also thought about a small-form-factor option?"
Here, I've asked a specific question concerning laptops. I've been pretty detailed about what I want, too. Instead of any laptop suggestions, I've gotten suggestions for a small-form-factor PC, a NAS, and Apple TV.
I want a laptop for two reasons. One, it might need to be used as a laptop would, for normal mobile computing purposes, on moment's notice. Second, I don't want to deal with an external keyboard or display. No, I do not want to hear argument about why my reasons aren't good or smart, or why I could be considering something different...
Any suggestions for cheap laptops fitting the bill would be greatly appreciated!