Now back for its fourth year
Click Image For Larger View
'Twas the Night Before Geekmas
by: Darkmage, Dposcorp, Klyith, Thrashdog, and Maxwell Smart
'Twas the night before Geekmas and all through the house,
No PCs were stirring, not even the MSmouse.
The children were offline and stuck in their heads,
Was visions of DOOM3, so they hid under their beds.
When up from the roof there rose such a clatter,
It was louder than a Maxtor with an off-balance platter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh filled with cool PC gear.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew he was navigating with his wireless NIC.
More rapid than Raptors his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
er! Now Razor
! Now Laser
! On CPUid
! On Talon
To the top of the case
! To the top of the screen
Now flash away! Flash
As benchmarks that always leave our mouths dry,
When the graphs on TR reach for the sky.
So up to the case-tower the reindeer they flew,
With the sleigh of ph4t l00t, and Saint Damage too!
And then in a twinkling I saw in the case,
Radeons and Geforces overclocking apace.
As on the monitor video stress tests strobed,
Into the case peered Saint Damage, with a temperature probe.
He was dressed in blue jeans and a Tech Report sweater,
He grasped all the power cables and bundled them together.
He pulled four sticks of RAM from an OEM lot,
And set about plugging them into DIMM slots.
An Athlon CPU he pulled out of his pocket,
And slowly yet gently it was placed into the socket.
Then he grinned as he placed a small dab,
of Arctic Silver on the CPU slab.
The crusty old IDE drives were popped out of place,
And 4 SATA Segates were put in their place,
Now he was real smart, and certainly slick,
So he thought 2 terebytes of storage should do the trick!
A flick of the power gave the system its birth,
Then ran benchmarks all night for all it was worth.
We heard him, when results were forgone;
Say "The review will be ready tomorrow at dawn."
He went to his work, he wrote in a fever,
The article was posted on the Tech Report server.
And we heard him shout, as comment threads did ignite,
"Merry Geekmas to all, and to all a good byte!"
If there is one thing a remote-controlled, silent and unseeable surveillance/killing machine needs, it’s more whimsy. -- Marcus