Steve Jobs: I’m not dying, relax

On the eve of the Macworld 2009 keynote, Apple’s prolific CEO has written a public letter to say he isn’t on his death bed after all—and we should all “relax and enjoy the show tomorrow.”

The press and Mac blogs have been abuzz with rumors about Steve Jobs’ health for months, and the buzzing only intensified after Apple announced that Jobs wouldn’t show up at Macworld this year. (Apple will also skip the show in the future.) At the heart of the buzzing: Jobs’ increasingly gaunt appearance, which he claims to be a “hormone imbalance” in today’s letter:

As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008. The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.
Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause—a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis.

The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and I’ve already begun treatment. But, just like I didn’t lose this much weight and body mass in a week or a month, my doctors expect it will take me until late this Spring to regain it. I will continue as Apple’s CEO during my recovery.

Jobs goes on to say he’ll be “the first one to step up and tell [Apple’s] Board of Directors” should he be unable to fulfill his duties.

The rumor mill kicked into high gear last month after Gizmodo quoted a “previously reliable source” as saying Jobs’ health was “rapidly declining,” and he would finally speak about it this spring. One blogger went as far as to interview a “local yogurt store” for more dirt on Jobs’ health. The staff claimed Jobs was “in great health” when he came in two weeks prior.

Comments closed
    • dustyjamessutton
    • 12 years ago

    I’m not an apple fan, and Steve Jobs may be arrogant at times, but he is still a fellow human being and I hope he gets fully recovered. Get well soon Steve.

    • Vrock
    • 12 years ago

    And I’m sorry, a “local yogurt store”? Hey, I like Dannon fruit on the bottom as much as the next guy….but there are “yogurt stores”? Other than TCBY? What kind of hippie crap is that?

      • PRIME1
      • 12 years ago

      “local yogurt store” is code for a head shop.

        • Vrock
        • 12 years ago

        Oh, so it’s *that* kind of hippie crap.

      • derFunkenstein
      • 12 years ago

      edit: i’m a re-re

    • PRIME1
    • 12 years ago

    The sad thing is, more people are worried about how Steve’s health affects Apple than how it affects Steve.

      • 5150
      • 12 years ago

      Welcome to Corporate America. Please obey.

      • Peldor
      • 12 years ago

      We all know how it affects Steve. No health, no Steve.

      It’s a REALLY short discussion.

        • Meadows
        • 12 years ago

        I lol’d.

    • Vrock
    • 12 years ago

    I’m just glad I can relax finally with this news. I’ve been up for 174 hours straight lighting candles for Steve Jobs and praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for his speedy recovery. Yeah. That’s it. Imma go plant a tree and hug a Mac Book now, then don my beret and form-fitting black outfit and go to sleep.

      • ssidbroadcast
      • 12 years ago

      You’re not supposed to wear the beret to bed.

        • Vrock
        • 12 years ago

        It’s okay, I sleep standing up.

    • Vrock
    • 12 years ago

    See, what really happened was that a battery in his Ipod he had in his shirt pocket exploded, which sent shrapnel dangerously close to his heart. He was rushed to surgery and they grafted an electromagnet to his chest to keep the shrapnel from burying deeper. The good news is that the electromagnet is powered by the Reality Distortion Field generator. With power of that magnitude, Steve should be healthy for millenia to come!

      • PRIME1
      • 12 years ago

      I hear he built a suit of armor out of polished aluminum with gray keys and runs on a BSD based operating system.

      While the armor is expensive and proprietary, it’s really very trendy and has a half eaten fruit symbol on the back.

    • PRIME1
    • 12 years ago

    r[< Jobs is a Pescetarian<]r BENDER: Who wants dolphin? LEELA: Dolphin? But dolphins are intelligent. BENDER:Not this one. He blew all his money on instant lottery tickets. FRY: OK. LEELA: Oh, OK. STEVE JOBS: That's different. FARNSWORTH: Good, good. LEELA: Pass the blowhole. STEVE JOBS: Can I have a fluke? HERMES: Hey, quit hogging the bottle-nose. FARNSWORTH: Toss me the speech center of the brain!

      • Meadows
      • 12 years ago

      Pescetarians don’t eat mammals.

    • derFunkenstein
    • 12 years ago

    Kind of in-passing, but if ZDNet is to be believed, Jobs is a Pescetarian, which I guarantee you would get you kicked out of Vegan Boot Camp.

    §[<http://blogs.zdnet.com/Apple/?p=192<]§ §[<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pescetarian<]§

      • Meadows
      • 12 years ago

      Vegans are dumb anyway and it’s an extremely (and needlessly) difficult diet.

        • d0g_p00p
        • 12 years ago

        the close minded judgmental one speaks.

        • ssidbroadcast
        • 12 years ago

        Difficult? Yes but only if you’re dirt poor like me. Dumb? How about you stfu.

          • Meadows
          • 12 years ago

          But I sort of am.

            • ssidbroadcast
            • 12 years ago

            Yeah you are kind of dumb. I’m being harsh. My apologies.

            • derFunkenstein
            • 12 years ago

            GREAT STORY GRANDMA!!!

            Actually, I lol’d in my shorts. Just a little, tho.

        • eitje
        • 12 years ago

        sometimes i question your value.

    • Krogoth
    • 12 years ago

    It is more silly, stupid drama. Please ignore the attention whore to your right. Have a nice day.

      • derFunkenstein
      • 12 years ago

      “Drama” that kills share prices, don’t forget. But don’t worry, I’ll take your advice and ignore you.

        • Krogoth
        • 12 years ago

        A shareholder with good business sense only cares about the business itself not some overinflated ego being a drama queen. Apple as a company will go on regardless if Steve Jobs retires tomorrow or not.

        You make it sound like a cult following is falling apart because its “leader” is failing on hard times.

          • MadManOriginal
          • 12 years ago

          Since Apple is a non-dividend growth stock I’d say rumors and such that gyrate it’s price are important. I don’t consider non-dividend stocks long-term holds, they are there to be traded.

          • green
          • 12 years ago

          shareholders with business sense do care about steve’s health as they see his running the company to be key to the company’s success (see the wozniak era before jobs came back)
          which is why the stock price dips whenever something comes up that may mean jobs isn’t running the company anymore

            • MathMan
            • 12 years ago

            There is no such thing as a Wozniak era.

            The Woz has always been a technie who was never interested in running a company. When Jobs was forced out, there were a number of CEO’s (Sculley, Amelio etc.) but Woz had nothing to do with that.

            • derFunkenstein
            • 12 years ago

            Ah, yes, the great Wozniak era, sandwiched between the Mesozoic and Cenozoic eras where dinosaurs donned flannel shirts and allowed their young to ride around on their backs, clubbing them with skillets and shouting “not the mama!”

            Next time, you know, you might want to read up a little bit.

            • eitje
            • 12 years ago

            i remember that show!

      • deruberhanyok
      • 12 years ago

      From the post:

      l[

        • Decelerate
        • 12 years ago

        Well, after being declared dead or dying every other week for over a year, I’d be pissed too.

    • PRIME1
    • 12 years ago

    l[

      • hustin
      • 12 years ago

      hahaha definetly

      • TheShadowself
      • 12 years ago

      First, Jobs is *not* vegan. He’s primarily a vegetarian that does eat eggs and such. He has even been known to eat fish occasionally.

      Maybe a bit of fact checking before posting is in order.

    • 5150
    • 12 years ago

    Further proof that Mac users lack testosterone.

    Get better Steve, these kids need their chic devices now!

    How’s that for a troll?

      • NeronetFi
      • 12 years ago

      l[

    • Xenolith
    • 12 years ago

    Aren’t we all dying?

      • Smurfer2
      • 12 years ago

      That’s a depressing way to put it. True, but depressing.

        • Nullvoid
        • 12 years ago

        It should actually be quite liberating if you can properly acknowledge it (I’ve yet to manage it myself). Blanking out all thoughts of death and dying leads most people to just trudge along wasting time and effort on things that aren’t really that important to them as they think they’ll have plenty of time to do and achieve the good things ‘later’. If you know you’re going to die all along then you can set about living the life you want to lead starting from right now, instead of waiting for the diagnosis of a terminal illness to give you the green light to ditch what isn’t important. Or something like that anyway!

        • willyolio
        • 12 years ago

        it’s only depressing if you don’t know how to handle that fact.

          • OneArmedScissor
          • 12 years ago

          Not Steve. He is having a new aluminum shell carved out by lasers to replace his body, which connects to his brain over the AT&T 3G network. Expect to see the iBody on sale for over $9,000 at the next big Apple announcement, with a mandatory lifetime contract.

            • Meadows
            • 12 years ago

            You wish the next firmware upgrade would make the spinning wheel of doom disappear while you’re jogging on the streets in that.

    • MadManOriginal
    • 12 years ago

    Everyone is dying from the moment they’re born. RDF in effect yo!

      • tfp
      • 12 years ago

      Steve: And believe me I am still alive.
      I’m doing science and I’m still alive.
      I feel fantastic and I’m still alive.
      While you’re dying I’ll be still alive.
      And when you’re dead I will be still alive.

        • no51
        • 12 years ago

        StevOS? The cake is an i?

        • moose17145
        • 12 years ago

        Hehehe… Nice! Very Nice! Kinda curious how many people actually got that reference though….

      • Vrock
      • 12 years ago

      Actually that’s not true. You don’t start dying until you stop growing. Then you slowly start to die.

    • FireGryphon
    • 12 years ago

    Here’s hoping that Steve Jobs gets better soon!

    F1r57 p057!!!!!

      • derFunkenstein
      • 12 years ago

      Hello!

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