Ever wanted to build a house and raise a family, all while in the comfort of your squalid studio apartment? Then boy, does Bethesda have a treat for you. The latest slice of downloadable content for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim has become available on Steam. For the low, low price of $4.99, Hearthfire lets you achieve in-game what your crippling social anxiety and potential glandular problems make all but unattainable in real life. Behold!
If you’re too overcome with excitement to watch the whole two-minute video, here’s the sales pitch from Bethesda’s blog post:
In case you missed it, with Heathfire you can purchase land and build your own home from the ground up – from a simple one-room cottage to a sprawling compound complete with an armory, alchemy laboratory, stable, garden, and more. Use all-new tools like the drafting table and carpenter’s workbench to transform quarried stone, clay, and sawn logs into structures and furnishings. Even transform your house into a home by adopting children.
To be fair, there is something uncannily satisfying about having your own house in Elder Scrolls games. I remember, back in the days of Morrowind, choosing the nicest and roomiest domicile in Balmora, violently emptying it of its residents, and then filling it with loot. I must have spent hours arranging potions on shelves and hawking the former residents’ possessions for gold. Ah, those were the days.
Of course, now that I have a real-life home all to myself, the prospect of playing house in a video game is much less appealing. But Hearthfire does look neat… and it is only five bucks.