We have a winner in our Skylake Damagebox giveaway

After two weeks and dozens of submissions, we have a winner in our competition to take home Scott's Skylake Damagebox. We asked The Tech Report's readers to create humorous comics related to PC hardware and the world of technology, and we got some amazing submissions from our community. You can see them all in the contest entry thread on the TR forums.

What was at stake? A PC built with a Core i7-6700K, 16GB of HyperX DDR4 memory, an Asus ROG Maximus VIII Hero Z170 mobo, dual Asus Strix GTX 980s in SLI, dual HyperX 240GB SSDs, dual WD 6TB hard drives, and a Cooler Master V1200 Platinum PSU, all wrapped up inside CM's MasterCase 5.

Cooler Master also kicked in one of its QuickFire XTi keyboards with Cherry MX Green switches, plus one of its Xornet II mice. Kingston HyperX made sure that the winner will enjoy high-quality sound from the Skylake Damagebox, thanks to its Cloud II USB headset. Total value? North of three grand.

Be sure to follow our contest sponsors—Asus, Cooler Master, HyperX, and Western Digital—on Facebook and Twitter to catch their latest product launches and news. Our thanks once again to these sponsors for making the Skylake Damagebox—and this giveaway—possible.

After TR's editors and contributors winnowed the submissions down to our favorites, a winner quickly emerged. Our congratulations to APenguinNamedDire for creating the winning entry. You'll be receiving a PM from Adam "Inkling" Eiberger on our forums soon with details of how to claim your prize. Please respond within 72 hours, or you'll forfeit the Skylake Damagebox to another potential winner.

Some of the contenders were so good that we have to mention them here. Honorable mentions go to sis_of_fish, whose art skills had us in awe. Peldor's take on operating system updates put us all in stitches. Duct Tape Dude made an adorable depiction of the relationship between cats and computers, and quaz0r gets brownie points for his clever use of TR in-jokes (and the staff's faces) in his entry.

These are just some of the great submissions we got for the contest. Thanks again to everybody who took the time to enter. Enjoy the Skylake Damagebox, APenguinNamedDire!

Comments closed
    • Prestige Worldwide
    • 4 years ago

    Congrats and good job to all those who entered.

    • sophisticles
    • 4 years ago

    THIS was the winning entry?!? REALLY?!? It’s lame; and no I didn’t submit an entry, and I’m not sure I could have done better but come on, the pickings must have been pretty slim if that won it and the honorable mentions are weak at best.

    Unless of course the contest was rigged, in which case it sort of makes sense picking that one.

      • APenguinNamedDire
      • 4 years ago

      No comment on the quality of my comic, but I can assure you that the contest was not rigged, though I know that doesn’t mean much coming from me.

      However, please consider the forum at play here. Most of us are neither comics, nor artists, nor pundits, we’re tech nerds (and loving it). I am sure there are many that could have done better, but most of those stay far, far away from places that get excited by the boost in IPC in the next generation of processors or optimizations in cache layouts.

      Do I know WHY I won? No. But I’m beyond happy that I did.

      • ludi
      • 4 years ago

      How are the grapes? Sour?

        • Crackhead Johny
        • 4 years ago

        Er, he said he didn’t complete so there are no sour grapes for him.
        He wanted a laugh and didn’t get one.

        He may think Danial Tosh, Dave Attell, Lenny Bruce, Chris Rock, Sexy Losers, Space Moose, Phlem, Invader Zim, etc are funny and not think Family Circus, Marmaduke, Leno, Bob Saget, or Garfield are funny. If you give him old jokes and stale memes that are “time tested” and “comfortingly familiar” he may not be amused. If you show him a chalk outline of a body on the ground and the caption “Draw me like one of your french girls”* He may bust out laughing while you/the judges, stare mortified.
        He was not the target audience. It is possible all he was looking for was a cartoon of someone injuring their wedding tackle in an overclocking endeavor.

        *not my joke.

          • ludi
          • 4 years ago

          Uhm, what? He insulted both the integrity of the judges and the quality of the winning entrant, then acknowledged not having made any contribution at all. That’s a pretty sour response.

            • Crackhead Johny
            • 4 years ago

            He comes off as a critic and not an unhappy competitor who lost. He had no horse in the game since he didn’t enter.
            Judging something like this is rough. If you pick something that is sucking up with inside jokes, clearly you were playing favorites or just liked having your ego stroked. If you immediately DQ everything that sucks up or has inside references, you may actually DQ a good entry. If you give the award to a suck up cartoon then you pretty much insure what 90% of the content in the next contest will be.
            If you pick a poster who has 1 or very few posts, maybe you had a friend set up a dummy account to win (yes, people who say this have failed to think of the fact you could have just given the prize to the friend without the contest). The other thing will be the accusation that other competitors were were creating dummy accounts or getting family members to enter their ideas (this will happen with random draw also). I didn’t count registration date as once you are known for running contests smart people will create accounts ahead of time and let them cool.
            Terrible things can happen like your well known best friend/or you family member can put in the by far best entry. Do you hose your friend and suffer the fallout from that or give them the prize and take all the “favoritism” fallout? (again you could have just given it to your friend family member but disappointed/angry people do not always think that far).
            With judging you also have to try to maintain your credibility.

            A “be funny” contest is rough. If you watch netflix and notice that 90% of the professional comics are about as funny as watching Grave of Fireflies, then you have to expect the problems that non-professionals may have.

    • deinabog
    • 4 years ago

    Congratulations to the winner. That is one sweet box!

    • hasseb64
    • 4 years ago

    With 2x6TB that man? can DL alot of pron from piratebay.se
    &
    play games in NEAR 4K resolution
    simultanoeus?

    • Pez
    • 4 years ago

    Awesome entry and a worthy winner, Congratulations!

    • Sam125
    • 4 years ago

    Congratulations on being the winning contestant! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Gam3sTr
    • 4 years ago

    Congratulations!

      • SoM
      • 4 years ago

      yes, congrats ya b*****e :p ๐Ÿ™‚

      enjoy da beast ๐Ÿ™‚

    • NeoForever
    • 4 years ago

    C’mon guys not even a single comment on mine?! I thought mine was pretty funny. I must have a weird sense of humor. :-/

    Congrats, Penguin!

      • Crackhead Johny
      • 4 years ago

      OK this is going to sound really harsh but you asked (don’t worry as penance for answering your question, I will farm a meaty red negative rating on this one.. but hey, no one else was answering you).
      I think I smirked at that joke the first time I saw it close to 20 years ago. I may have smirked again when EQ came out and it became popular again. I didn’t smirk at it when WOW came out. These days I’m irritated when people trot it out again (doubly when they claim it as their own).

      So you submitted someone else’s joke as your own. It is a joke that has been looted so many times no one knows who came up with it. This is a HUGE no no in comedy (ask Carlos Mencia about that TV show he used to have).
      You were not the only one, looting old jokes seemed pretty popular in this contest. I asked about this contest requiring you submit your own jokes in one of the original threads, as I figured there would be a lot of it on a first run (I didn’t get a replay as of last time I saw it).
      That is to be expected in a first run of a contest like this. Often people steal jokes the first time they try to be funny… or they just completely fail at funny.
      If these type contests keep happening here (or if the forum generates a perpetual comic thread) it will become a more refined process and people will have a better idea what to submit and what not to submit.
      Here an an explanation of how this sort of thing works from one of the editor’s of the greatest example of this the internet has seen (the DFC from ~20 years ago). [url<]http://www.zompist.com/dfcguide.shtml[/url<] Keep in mind that while the was no nudity in the DFC its caption content was often very NSFW/sanity. I was worried that mine would get flagged by anyone who was an Ars reader because I have told all those stories before. While they were all my jokes, they were jokes/stories I have told many times before. And if you feel bad just remember you are not the guy who simply submitted one of the most famous memes in recent years without even trying to make it into a comic. (I assume this was misunderstanding the directions and not that they though we had never seen it and thus had us fooled.)

        • TruthSerum
        • 4 years ago

        Ah, but all the GOOD jokes are taken already..

        George Carlin would KILL me if he was still around, with just a grumpy look.

        • ludi
        • 4 years ago

        How many truly original jokes and formats are there, really? Every generation rediscovers most of the same plays on words, the same wry or witty observations, the same cartoons that have circulated since time immemorial. Most humor involves finding new twists on old themes, or finding new audiences that haven’t heard them before.

        Since the TR crowd skews heavily pre-Millenial and some go back to Generation X, finding something original is a pretty tall assignment.

          • Crackhead Johny
          • 4 years ago

          There are a near infinite number of new fresh jokes to be made.
          I have heard your argument presented on a writers forum I have visited, in defense of trotting out dead horses that have been flogged so many times by the Hollywood writer centipede, that they can pass cleanly through the finest of filter media.
          The PC is dead joke. I first heard people mocking those who declared it when the Compaq luggable came out because now the PC was dead and everyone would have a portable computer, then with real laptops again, then with.. well you see where this is going. It is like “year of Linux on the desktop” jokes.
          I was not sure about the reference example cartoon if the “PC is dead joke” was supposed to be funny because everyone popped out laptops showing it had been dead for a while or if it was that laptops were supposed to be PCs and so the PC was not dead. Either way it didn’t work for me.

          Cats love laying on warm things.. With computers I first heard it in 76 or 77 when my mom got a Vector 3. I’m sure Garfield trotted that one out at some point. Before that I’m sure it happened with mainframe and mini computers at some point and before that typewriters with the tired “cats like to lay on your keyboard/what you are doing”. Those jokes are so old no one here was alive when they were first made.

          The problem with new jokes is that your brain has to be wired for them and I’m not sure how that happens. Though usually it involved an unpleasant childhood/life. I think it is the you can laugh or cry about X situation the choice is up to you. One of the things that insures fresh jokes is so much humor that is new is based on life experiences and people still have new life experiences or look at their experiences in a different way.

          • vahong
          • 4 years ago

          I was hoping my entry was both Original and Funny.
          It seemed original, considering the source material came from toddler.

          Unfortunately, I may have been the only person that thought it was entertaining.

          FYI: to this day the 3-year old (pictured in the entry) is still confused about why there’s not enough space on the phone. I have to put useless icons on the Home screen(s) to convince him there is no more space.

            • ludi
            • 4 years ago

            Truthfully, I chuckled at that one, but mostly because I have a number of young nieces/nephews to help put the joke in context.

            • Crackhead Johny
            • 4 years ago

            It didn’t seem original as I had a user do that with their desktop when they were having space issues and I have seen a cartoon of that that. I haven’t seen it with a cell phone before though.

            This also suggests my user was as functional as a 3 year old. I guess I underestimated them.

    • RazrLeaf
    • 4 years ago

    A worthy winner. And something that even my non-tech friends find hilarious. Well done, APenguinNamedDire.

    • toki
    • 4 years ago

    Congratulations MrPenguin. That damagebox is too sweet.

    • ronch
    • 4 years ago

    Aww… nobody appreciated my cartoon and found it funny…

    (Auxy, help me out here with one of your super-sad emojis.)

      • Milo Burke
      • 4 years ago

      It’s okay, Ronch. I’ve got your back:

      /โ•ฒ/\โ•ญ( อกยฐ อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ อกยฐ)โ•ฎ/\โ•ฑ\

        • ronch
        • 4 years ago

        Thanks, dude!

    • prb123
    • 4 years ago

    Bob Saget…I mean congratulations!!

    • Mr Bill
    • 4 years ago

    A solid win. Congrats all around for all the fun cartoons you posted.

    • TruthSerum
    • 4 years ago

    Wow there is some good stuff in that gallery, nice job guys and hypothetical females.

    • Goofus Maximus
    • 4 years ago

    I can finally delete that thing from my Flickr account. I knew it wouldn’t even be a contender. Sigh.

    Edit: Oh, and congratulations to those inspired comic geniuses who carried the day on this contest! Since TR is looking for staff writers, you all may be up for the position of editorial cartoonist!

    • APenguinNamedDire
    • 4 years ago

    WEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    Sliiiiiiiiide! (sorry, it’s a penguin thing. See: [url<]http://www.comedity.com/Comedity_files/8.jpg[/url<] Note, I have no real connection with Garth, though I have talked to him before. He just understands penguins.) I worked hard on this, but then, so did a lot of you, and this was a all or nothing contest. I'm incredibly honored to have won, but you should all be proud of yourselves too. If I could convince them to make multiple Damageboxes and give them out, I would. Don't get me wrong, I am riding on cloud 9 from wining, but man, I did everything wrong. I didn't have a solid grip on my idea at the start, I spent waaaay too much time on all the little details you can't see (did you know those wires on the Spousebox are actually curved with shading, or that it has a mini jet turbine in it? Or that I spent about two hours trying to get the heat vents on Catbox to look right for the perspective?), I started on the middle frames first, I didn't settle on the joke until two days before the deadline, and I STILL see mistakes in it. After I submitted it, I spotted a few mistakes that I should have cleared up (the table in the next to last frame is a different table than the one in the last image, the man is missing his shadow (which I fixed, but must have forgotten to reimport the image into the composite), and the shadow from the couch pillow in the last frame goes out of the comic frame. I was scared to change it since I was so close to the deadline, though. Many of you crafted really solid punchlines, so I really do have to give you all credit and thanks. I enjoyed reading your comics over the past few days (I've probably made TR a chunk of change just from my fanatical F5'ing of the forum thread to check out the competition.), even if they did make me fret like a madman. I'm thinking I might have to make a follow up comic about the Damagebox, though it might be a few weeks. I'm horribly inefficient at this sort of thing. Should I? ~Dire Penguin

      • TruthSerum
      • 4 years ago

      Fake, nobody is this gracious in victory! (nice job daaaang… work pays off? Wot?)

      • ludi
      • 4 years ago

      Eighty percent of strong comedy is knowing your audience. The TR crew generally likes the mix of current news and family kitsch that you targeted so cleanly. Mentally, I was reading your narration panels in Garrison Keillor’s voice and it all made sense. Good job!

        • Crackhead Johny
        • 4 years ago

        Thanks for the tip, next time I will watch Leno* and drill on memes and return stronger faster better.

        *Could have picked Cosby but that doesn’t mean the same thing it used to..

        • Milo Burke
        • 4 years ago

        I was reading the panels in Liam Neeson’s voice.

          • TruthSerum
          • 4 years ago

          He has a specific set of skills… including graphic design…

      • Captain Ned
      • 4 years ago

      Your task, should you choose to accept it, is to somehow meld the incoming DamageBox with the miraculous resurrection of Opus in the newfound Bloom County. Oh, Opus is a penguin.

      [url<]https://www.facebook.com/berkeleybreathed/[/url<] This post will evaporate in 5 seconds. Damn, the IMF isn't real. [/cue Lalo Schifrin]

      • Peldor
      • 4 years ago

      Congratulations, Penguin.

      Until next time.

      • SomeOtherGeek
      • 4 years ago

      Thanks for that! I enjoyed it and the comic too. Everyone else too

      And no Linux can be installed on this machine! I know your penguin!

      I look forward to your write-up or comic if you do it. But first really enjoy your new toy!

    • ludi
    • 4 years ago

    Congrats! Make that box rock.

    • Mr. Robot
    • 4 years ago

    And thus I will always be left wondering if my poor little non-embedded link even got noticed going through the entries because I waited until the last moment to post and couldn’t get it to work before the lock…

    Love the winning comic though, so can’t even be sad.

      • Captain Ned
      • 4 years ago

      Knowing the HQ crowd, I’m sure they checked into every “Image” that just sat there and didn’t get posted due to the 5-post threshold for posting links.

      In retrospect, that’s probably something we need to think about if we do something like this again.

      • Damage
      • 4 years ago

      I saw it! Thanks for participating.

    • tipoo
    • 4 years ago

    Congrats! All great entries in the honorable mentions as well.

    I thought this would go to the 17th from another article so I slacked off and couldn’t enter, but the idea for a comic I thought was kind of funny was someone holding a rally for a lawsuit against AMD for the cores/modules thing. Only a few people show up. We see him thinking for a panel, then he gets an idea.

    Next panel, he duct taped every two people together and calls them four person modules ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Duct Tape Dude
    • 4 years ago

    Congrats, APenguinNamedDire!

    This was a fun contest despite its all-or-nothingness ๐Ÿ™‚

    • JackFunk
    • 4 years ago

    Congrats Peguin Dire! I hope you enjoy the system.

    • morphine
    • 4 years ago

    Is it just me that prefers sis_of_fish’s gerbil versions of Ned and JBI? ๐Ÿ™‚

      • drfish
      • 4 years ago

      I’m dying to explain everything that I’m worried people don’t “get” about it. LOL. I hope at least everyone got the Captian Ned -> Captain Picard facepalm thing.

        • Captain Ned
        • 4 years ago

        I was honored to contribute my lack of hair, tie dye, and beer gut to sis_of_fish’s attempt. And yes, I got the facepalm.

        Oh, and if there’s anyone around here who groks “42”, it’s me.

        • APenguinNamedDire
        • 4 years ago

        The art on that one was fantastic, but I know I didn’t get everything (for instance, the facepalm). I felt that that it was at LEAST a double joke, with lots of references and hidden stuff (like I did with the third news article).

        But I know I didn’t catch everything. You should write it up!

          • drfish
          • 4 years ago

          We’re already planning on a thread where we post all of the concept art (spoiler: there’s a gerbil Damage) and explain everything. We don’t want to start that too soon after the contest though, plus my sister is actually on vacation and doesn’t have a scanner to really get proper high res images online.

          The two big jokes were the intentionally terrible “revolutionary” pun (revolutionary technology -> literally revolving wheel) and the Capt Ned/Picard facepalm. The idea was to win over both people that like puns and people that think they’re lame (I am firmly in the former camp for the record). ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Captain Ned
            • 4 years ago

            This should shock no one, but the Picardian face-palm inhabits my daily work life. We’re charged with protecting the consumer population of our state, but 2 days working on the complaint line will make you wish you were a watermelon waiting for Gallagher’s Sledge-O-Matic.

            • quaz0r
            • 4 years ago

            The poor-taste-o-meter rises ever so slightly when you carry on about needing to explain your entry to everyone. Comedy even more than art itself is such a personal and subjective thing to every individual, and to rank such things much less pull one out of a lot and declare it the winner all depends on such an infinity of variables, you have to just accept this as the nature of the game.

            Captain Ned for instance just told you that he doesn’t need your entry explained to him. I suspect nobody else does either. If any subtleties were lost on anyone, it would seem a few were lost on you. The TR guys made it pretty clear in their statements and wordings that they weren’t looking to make it a contest based on who was the most phenomenal artist. If you were paying attention you would have realized that was a real sentiment they were conveying, not just an empty nicety. So to run out and get your sister to draw the next Mona Lisa and then carry on and on about how dense everyone else must be because your sister’s Mona Lisa didn’t win is, well, a little dense. (not to mention a little insulting, not only to the judges, but to the other contestants as well)

            What you meant to say was something more like this:

            Good job on your entries everyone and congratulations to the winner! Also thanks to TR and the sponsors for having this fun contest.

            • drfish
            • 4 years ago

            I think anyone that knows me around here knows that there isn’t the slightest bit of sour grapes over this. My initial reply was, “Good pick! I was worried about this one, congrats!” I completely understand that the meme heavy self-referential meta humor that makes me smile isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

            However, a lot of work went into this and a lot of the references are very obscure (like if you haven’t been to a TR BBQ you probably wouldn’t catch them obscure) and since the entry thread is locked now I think it’s completely appropriate to start a thread where anyone can share some of the behind the scenes of their creative process if they are so inclined.

            • Arbiter Odie
            • 4 years ago

            I missed the subtleties.

            • Captain Ned
            • 4 years ago

            1st panel: Like I said, I get 42. What do you get when you multiply six by nine? I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the Universe (and yes, for the pedants, that’s correct in Base 13).

            2nd panel: Nothing, unless the gerbil on the wheel is supposed to be one of us.

            3rd panel: The TR magnifying glass over the Habitrail, the BBQ shore pic over the bed, and the penguin on the calendar has to mean something. Gerbil Simulator was a given.

            4th panel: JBI & I will happily recreate that pose at the next BBQ for anyone that wants pics of the “real” people. Can’t promise I’ll have that exact tye-dye, but there will be new tye-dye.

            First time I’ve ever been drawn as art and I love it.

            • drfish
            • 4 years ago

            [quote<]JBI & I will happily recreate that pose at the next BBQ for anyone that wants pics of the "real" people.[/quote<] OMG, we need that to happen! Re: 2nd Panel, we did discuss making that gerbil a specific TR personality but decided to leave it open to interpretation. I'll save the rest for the thread but you got the critical stuff. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Captain Ned
            • 4 years ago

            OMG, we need that to happen!

            Can we at least wear pants?

            • drfish
            • 4 years ago

            LMAO! Coworker looked at me funny…

            • just brew it!
            • 4 years ago

            Yeah, the BBQ is billed as a family-friendly event… pants are pretty essential if you want to keep things PG-13! ๐Ÿ˜€

            If we want an accurate recreation we will also need to make sure we have a beer mug with a handle on premises…

    • Meadows
    • 4 years ago

    Haven’t followed the forum thread, didn’t expect furry art in there.

    • DPete27
    • 4 years ago

    Gawgh!! I didn’t even win an honorable mention.

    Oh well. Congrats penguin. Definitely top 5 on my list

    • drfish
    • 4 years ago

    Good pick! I was worried about this one, congrats!

      • APenguinNamedDire
      • 4 years ago

      I was worried about you. You killed it in the art, and I knew you had hidden jokes in there that I didn’t get.

      Seriously, mad props to you and your sister!

    • chuckula
    • 4 years ago

    Congratulations to APenguinNamedDire!!!

    Also, with a username like that, I expect to see some sweet sweet Linux screenshots posted once you take delivery!

      • DrDominodog51
      • 4 years ago

      Exactly. I want to know what distro and kernel version he’s running too.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This